Atheist's 3 Questions Answered With A Slap, Literally Options

[illriginal]

There was a young man who went overseas to study for quite a long time. When he returned, he asked his parents to find him a religious scholar or any expert who could answer his 3 Questions.

Finally, his parents were able to find a Muslim scholar.
Young man: Who are you? Can you answer my questions?

Scholar: I am one of Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala )'s slaves and Insha-Allah
(God willing), I will be able to answer your questions.

Young man: Are you sure? A lot of Professors and experts were not able to answer my questions.

Scholar: I will try my best, with the help of Allah( SubHana WaTa`ala).

Young Man: I have 3 questions: 1. Does God exist? If so, show me His shape.

2. What is taqdir (fate)?

3. If shaitan (Devil) was created from the fire, why at the end he will be thrown to hell that is also created from fire. It certainly will not hurt him at all, since Shaitan (Devil) and the hell were created from fire. Did God not think of it this far?

Suddenly, the Scholar slapped the young man's face very hard.

Young man (feeling pain): Why do you get angry at me?

Scholar: I am not angry. The slap is my answer to your three questions.

Young Man: I really don't understand.

Scholar: How do you feel after I slapped you?

Young Man: Of course, I felt the pain.

Scholar: So do you believe that pain exists?

Young Man: Yes.

Scholar: Show me the shape of the
pain!

Young Man: I cannot.

Scholar: That is my first answer. All of us feel God's existence without being able to see His shape... Last night, did you dream that you will be slapped by me?

Young Man: No.

Scholar: Did you ever think that you will get a slap from me today?

Young Man: No.

Scholar: That is takdir (fate) my second answer........ My hand that I used to slap you, what is it created from?

Young Man: It is created from flesh.

Scholar: How about your face, what is it created from?

Young Man: Flesh.

Scholar: How do you feel after I slapped you?

Young Man: In pain.

Scholar: Thats it. This is my third answer, Even though Shaitan (Devil) and also the hell were created from the fire, if Allah wants, insha-Allah (God willing), the hell will become a very painful place for Shaitan Allah said “If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you.'

[heyo-captain-jac...]

The invisible and the non-existent look pretty damn similar.

[Mikeplyts]

Wow, I actually understood this...some.

[heyo-captain-jac...]

It's extremely easy to understand, but that doesn't make it accurate. Religion is a stupid thing, created by stupid people.

[illriginal]

It's extremely easy to understand, but that doesn't make it accurate. Religion is a stupid thing, created by stupid people.

lawl the same people who were the pioneers, inventors, scientists, mathematicians etc..

[ForgiveTheSinner]

Lol awesome.

I understood :)

[illriginal]

Lol awesome.

I understood :)

I read it every time with a different reaction coming from the young man after gettin slapped and it cracks me up.

[karmakiller]

^ Now you make me feel stupid for not getting it, haha.

You're not alone. The scholar didn't even answer his questions... Wait, is this a joke? Or...

[illriginal]

^^^^

[illriginal]

Here's another:


God Vs Science

A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students, "Let me explain the problem science has with religion." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

"Yes sir," the student says.

"So you believe in God?"

"Absolutely."

"Is God good?"

"Sure! God's good."

"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"

"Yes."

"Are you good or evil?"

"The Bible says I'm evil."

The professor grins knowingly. "Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?"

"Yes sir, I would."

"So you're good...!"

"I wouldn't say that."

"But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't."

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"

The student remains silent.

"No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

"Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"

"Er...yes," the student says.

"Is Satan good?"

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No."

"Then where does Satan come from?"

The student falters. "From God"

"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"

"Yes, sir."

"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?"

"Yes."

"So who created evil?" The professor continued, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil."

Again, the student has no answer. "Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?"

The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."

"So who created them?"

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. "Who created them?" There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues onto another student. "Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor, I do."

The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"

"No sir. I've never seen Him."

"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

"No, sir, I have not."

"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?"

"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."

"Yet you still believe in him?"

"Yes."

"According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?"

"Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith."

"Yes, faith," the professor repeats. "And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith."

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. "Professor, is there such thing as heat?"

"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."

"And is there such a thing as cold?"

"Yes, son, there's cold too."

"No sir, there isn't."

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees."

"Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

"What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?"

"Yes," the professor replies without hesitation. "What is night if it isn't darkness?"

"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word."

"In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?"

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. "So what point are you making, young man?"

"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed."

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. "Flawed? Can you explain how?"

"You are working on the premise of duality," the student explains. "You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought."

"It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it."

"Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"

"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."

"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

"Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.

"To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean."

The student looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out into laughter.

"Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir."

"So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?"

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. "I guess you'll have to take them on faith."

"Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life," the student continues. "Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?"

Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

[karmakiller]

Evil isn't the absence of something. Evil occurs.

"Have you ever felt your Jesus or tasted your Jesus?" LOLOLOL

[illriginal]

Evil isn't the absence of something. Evil occurs.

Hm... do you know anything about the Amish?

I dare you to show us all a consistency in violence within the Amish communities.


EDIT: In fact in any part of the world where Amish communities exist.

[dosomethin888]

I am going to email those to everyone I know. Lol.

[illriginal]

I am going to email those to everyone I know. Lol.

I've passed it via Facebook, email, and myspace + the body build forum

[sadolakced acid]

The simple question is not whether or not god exists, it is why does god want you to believe in him?

he's all powerful. Why does he care?

[*BOSS*]

Cause hes the quarterback of the football team.

[illriginal]

The simple question is not whether or not god exists, it is why does god want you to believe in him?

he's all powerful. Why does he care?

God cares for all things He's created

[sadolakced acid]

god cares not for all he has created, for the road to hell is paved with the skulls of unbaptized infants.

[*paperplane*]

JUSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

[illriginal]

god cares not for all he has created, for the road to hell is paved with the skulls of unbaptized infants.

Ya uhm... that whole, "we're born in sin" is bullshit. It's not even logical. How can an infant be sent to hell if they can't even be held accountable. Don't fall for that crap.

[Tung]

God cares for all things He's created

what's god


please don't slap me.

[none345678]

God cares for all things He's created

Gay people?

[illriginal]

Gay people?

Just so long what he creates follows his laws

Think about it, you're allowed to have your rights, privacy, and freedom here in the U.S. But if you commit crimes, you should no longer have rights, privacy, nor freedom. This is the same way with the laws of God. If you consistently commit sins, why should you not be held accountable? It clearly doesn't make any sense.

If you were to read the Qur'an, Torah, and or the Bible. You'd learn from a story, about how God feels about adulterers, including men and women who lie with the same sex as they would with the opposite sex.

From that story, we learn that adulterers, including homosexuals, are committing an offense, one of which effects the very foundation of the community.

[sadolakced acid]

god doesn't exist. I don't believe in the bible.

[none345678]

Just so long what he creates follows his laws

Think about it, you're allowed to have your rights, privacy, and freedom here in the U.S. But if you commit crimes, you should no longer have rights, privacy, nor freedom. This is the same way with the laws of God. If you consistently commit sins, why should you not be held accountable? It clearly doesn't make any sense.

If you were to read the Qur'an, Torah, and or the Bible. You'd learn from a story, about how God feels about adulterers, including men and women who lie with the same sex as they would with the opposite sex.

From that story, we learn that adulterers, including homosexuals, are committing an offense, one of which effects the very foundation of the community.

Ok, I am going to cut the bullshit. I think some parts of the Bible makes god look like an ***hole. I would rather burn in hell for refusing to believe that god is an ***hole, than burn in hell for being one of the people who covered his name in shit.

I will never put Gods name and hate together no matter what people pull out out of the Bible or any other Holy Book. If people can learn to love everyone regardless of whatever differences, why the hell would I believe god cant. Unless you will try and tell me that some people can be more loving, generous, and kinder than god. And if that isn't blasphemy then I don't know what is.