PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE, Do we classify him under stupidity? Or Spawn of satan? |
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 Mar 21 2009, 12:31 AM
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#1
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 Senior Member  Group: Official Member Posts: 6,349 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 455,274  |
Source: http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/...e-200903181648/
QUOTE POPE Benedict last night claimed that placing a bible over an erect penis before intercourse is the only guaranteed way to prevent the spread of Aids. Speaking before his tour of Africa, the Pontiff said Aids could only be tackled by the 'traditional teaching of the church' and not a latex rubber sheath that contains infected semen and prevents it from transferring the virus to another human being. Experts said that either the Pope is suggesting the bible is used like a condom, or he doesn't know what a condom is. Dr Emma Bradford, of Reading University, said: "I guess you would have to rip out a few pages of Leviticus and then somehow fashion them into a condom-like device using lots and lots of masking tape. "Or you could shred the pages, soak them in water and construct something that looks a bit like a paper mach? cigar tube." Dr Bradford added: "It has to be one of those two because suggesting that the African Aids epidemic can be contained simply by reading the bible would be criminally insane." Since his inauguration in 2005 the Pope has continued the Church's strong opposition to condoms by calling for abstinence, supervised heavy petting and whacking it repeatedly with a wooden spoon until it goes all soft again. Meanwhile the Vatican has issued this year's list of approved non-penetrative carnal techniques including pearl necklaces, light genital branding and something called 'Dutch steamboating'. I came to the conclusion that there's only two things about this Pope. Either: A. He's really just a stupid human being and an embarrassment to Christianity or B. He's in fact the spawn of satan in the flesh. Placing your Holy Bible (The Word of God, mind you) above your erect penis? This is f*ckin blasphemy, off with his head!!!!!  You Christians need to revolt... this is beyond disrespect. |
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Mar 21 2009, 12:34 AM
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#2
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 Coming from Illinois Group: Member Posts: 319 Joined: Mar 2009 Member No: 718,627 |
Woah. That's just crazy talk! Where did he even get such a crazy idea?! Too much twitter Pope Benny, someone ask some outrageous question you were compelled to answer?? This is an example of when not to listen to the pope. >_>
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Mar 21 2009, 12:59 AM
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#3
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Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 6,349 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 455,274 |
Errr... disregard. It's one of those stupid ass satire news sites.
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Mar 21 2009, 01:06 AM
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#4
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Coming from Illinois Group: Member Posts: 319 Joined: Mar 2009 Member No: 718,627 |
Oh, funny one though.
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Mar 21 2009, 01:08 AM
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#5
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 (′ ･ω･｀) Group: Official Designer Posts: 6,179 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 72,477 |
he also thinks condoms should be banned in africa.
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Mar 21 2009, 01:00 PM
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#6
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 Amberific. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,913 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,772 |
^ Exactly. Even though this was satire, they basically got his (dangerous) philosophy on contraceptives.
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Mar 21 2009, 01:03 PM
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#7
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 Senior Member Group: Administrator Posts: 2,648 Joined: Apr 2008 Member No: 639,265 |
When the world (finally) turns to Sharia Law, satire websites like The Onion and The Daily Mash will be banned so they don't fool gullible readers.
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Mar 21 2009, 01:15 PM
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#8
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 Sex, Blood, & RocknRoll Group: People Staff Posts: 5,305 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 596,480 |
 edit I like this one better 
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Mar 21 2009, 01:58 PM
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#9
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 Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 2,435 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 506,205 |
He wanted to ban condoms in Africa? Why doesn't he just get a syringe and give them AIDS himself?
I'm not a fan of him. As soon as he said Harry Potter was blasphemous, I knew he was a little cracked. |
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Mar 21 2009, 02:00 PM
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#10
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Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 6,349 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 455,274 |
QUOTE(IWontRapeYou @ Mar 21 2009, 02:15 PM)  edit I like this one better Doesn't he look so freakin evil!?!? |
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Mar 21 2009, 06:35 PM
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#11
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 DDR \\ I'm Dee :) Group: Mentor Posts: 8,662 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 384,020 |
QUOTE(IWontRapeYou @ Mar 21 2009, 01:15 PM) http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f63/tone.../scary_pope.jpg edit I like this one better http://i631.photobucket.com/albums/uu36/ke...j/scarypope.jpg  I don't really pay attention to the pope, but I did hear about him saying that condoms won't help reduce the spread of AIDS. I'm sure if they had those pictures hanging over the bed, though, that would probably reduce the spread of AIDS. |
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Mar 21 2009, 06:36 PM
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#12
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Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 6,349 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 455,274 |
He believe that condoms would be counter productive, causing AIDS to rise.
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