How to come out good in this situation? Options

[dpl313]

How do I win in this situation:

Last year I met this girl through a hs friend. We went out on 3 dates. First date was ok. 2nd date she wouldn't stfu about this guy she liked that was clearly out for the screw and go. She told me how she was chasing him for a year or so. We got into an argument, because she pulled the let's be friends line. I told her what she could do with her friendship. Lol.

Within 3-4 months I missed her. So I called her and we went out again. She sounded like she was mad at this dude, but she didn't say why. She told me she didn't want a relationship with anyone. I told her I'm not going to wait for her forever. I moved out of town a month later. We talked on aim a few months after that, and she told me she was into this dude again.

We got into a big argument about "mr. wonderful." It was like I was talking to the wall.. So I met other people. After getting over my ex gf I thought about her again. We texted and I asked her about hanging out. It looked like she was making excuses, and I called her out on it. Within 3 minutes of me texting her about me calling her out on what she said.. she called me, and started explaining herself. Which was a complete surprise.

We didn't talk for a month. I tried calling every now and then but to no avail. I was about to give up, but she picked up the phone. We talked for 30 mins. During the convo she told me she gave up on the guy, but another guy confessed to her while he was drunk. She didn't seem enthusiastic by it.

Next night we got into this conversation/argument via text. Mainly we talked about sex, our parents, random stuff, and I confessed my feelings. I told her I want to build a future with her. I told her I don't wanna be the dude that gives her advice. She said she respects how I feel, but she doesn't want a relationship with anyone. I was gonna say forget it, but she gave me the it's your loss, you're gonna miss out speech. So.. I've tried the friendship thing.

Some days we talk. Some days we don't. 2 things. How do I succeed in this situation, and I want to bring a flower to her job and surprise her. Do you think that's a good idea?

[illriginal]

Keep it as friends and just build a strong relationship. A lot of times the best relationships happen through friendship.

[smash]

^i second that. personally, i'm the type of girl who prefers friendship before anything. if a guy can prove to be a loyal and trustworthy friend he has a better chance of gettin' to know me in a romantic way. the flower thing could be nice if you do it the right way.

[Stuckie]

I say cut her loose. I had a few relationships like that and she tells you she doesnt want a relationship but she'll tell the other guy that "there is just something about you that I feel a connection to." Then that relationship goes to hell. And she goes to you for comfort but wont pursue a meaningful relationship with you. You told her how you felt once. She pretty much just spat in your face. And you didnt use a "Oh baby, you're so fine." approach. You told her you had real feelings for her, and she said no. Then to add insult to injury, she says if you cut ties with her its your loss. From what you posted, it seems like she offers nothing. Your loss? Give me a break. You give her advice and she returns it with a headache. Not many men would tell a girl how they really feel, so I'd say its her loss, and she'll miss out.

You can tell her how you feel. Do it around people, but not around people that she sees on a regular basis. You dont want her to feel pressured around cohorts. That way you'll get honest feedback without negative interference.

[batman]

How do I win in this situation:

Last year I met this girl through a hs friend. We went out on 3 dates. First date was ok. 2nd date she wouldn't stfu about this guy she liked that was clearly out for the screw and go. She told me how she was chasing him for a year or so. We got into an argument, because she pulled the let's be friends line. I told her what she could do with her friendship. Lol.

Within 3-4 months I missed her. So I called her and we went out again. She sounded like she was mad at this dude, but she didn't say why. She told me she didn't want a relationship with anyone. I told her I'm not going to wait for her forever. I moved out of town a month later. We talked on aim a few months after that, and she told me she was into this dude again.

We got into a big argument about "mr. wonderful." It was like I was talking to the wall.. So I met other people. After getting over my ex gf I thought about her again. We texted and I asked her about hanging out. It looked like she was making excuses, and I called her out on it. Within 3 minutes of me texting her about me calling her out on what she said.. she called me, and started explaining herself. Which was a complete surprise.

We didn't talk for a month. I tried calling every now and then but to no avail. I was about to give up, but she picked up the phone. We talked for 30 mins. During the convo she told me she gave up on the guy, but another guy confessed to her while he was drunk. She didn't seem enthusiastic by it.

Next night we got into this conversation/argument via text. Mainly we talked about sex, our parents, random stuff, and I confessed my feelings. I told her I want to build a future with her. I told her I don't wanna be the dude that gives her advice. She said she respects how I feel, but she doesn't want a relationship with anyone. I was gonna say forget it, but she gave me the it's your loss, you're gonna miss out speech. So.. I've tried the friendship thing.

Some days we talk. Some days we don't. 2 things. How do I succeed in this situation, and I want to bring a flower to her job and surprise her. Do you think that's a good idea?

did ya bring her the flowers?