"Best" Friend, is a friend no more? Options

[mushiebeans]

Okay, so i've known this girl K since freshman year now, and we're seniors. I always thought we were pretty good friends but I dont really know anymore. Because I always end up feeling used by her. During freshman year, everything was okay because we had art and music in common. But during sophomore year, I felt a little iffy because I joined band because I wanted to join (and also she wanted me to). And since i didnt know ANYONE else there I assumed she'd kind of be there for me. And she was. But she would be talking to me, then one of her guy friends would show up (she only had guy friends and a few girl friends because most people didnt like her. she stirred up quite some drama during sophomore year. she quit band in junior year because she couldnt handle the drama. she didnt even tell me that she was going to quit. all of a sudden in junior year first day of school, i dont see her. that was disappointing. anyway..) and then she would be like "im going to talk to Sam now okay?" and leave me completely, while i had no one to talk to. After a while, i made other friends and started hanging out with them. Then she whined that we were drifting apart. NO DUH. During one gig at the LA county fair, i wanted to hang out with all my new buddies. but she wanted to "walk around the booths and talk." I obliged. it was fun, but not as fun once i heard how much fun everyone else was having playing paintball and going on the ferris wheel (sp?). I was miserable knowing that i missed out on a great bonding moment. I felt like a horrible friend becuase i was feeling miserable about hanging out with her. Same thing happened at the spring trip. I wanted to hangout with others and she wanted to be by ourselves. One day I confronted her about it and she CRIED and went to her guy friends. So i was left alone for the remainder of the trip because I couldnt find other people and she was talking to her friend. I ended up having a miserable time while she had a fine time talking to Sam.
In junior year, she quit band, so i had time to hangout with others. I had so much fun. I loved the people, because I'm a total people person. But I still kept in touch with her. But this summer, even though i "reserved" the right to her birthday, she went out with her other best friend, T. This year, she had a really hard schedule so i felt bad for her. But we never hung out because i was busy too. But every attempt to hang out with her was useless because she was busy. However, she somehow found time to hang out with T every month. Not the best way to handle 2 best friends who dont really know each other. I understood this in a sense because she and T have been friends for a long time. But what I didnt understand was this one time we had a local festival that i invited her to hangout at, and she couldnt because she was busy that day. However, come the festival day, and i see her hanging out with T again. Am i just being a jealous friend or am i not being treated right? The one reason this aggravates me so much is that everytime she wants to hangout or have fun, she goes to T. But when she's crying she comes to me, making me drop anything im doing to walk around with her to help her feel better. (I'm like that. If I see a friend crying or down, I drop everything I'm doing to try to help that person.) I felt used as a tissue. not a friend. :P
Senior year comes, I'm done with her. Everything she does gets on my nerves, whether it be worry about my well-being because i've been stressed lately, or play on the piano before class when I'm suppsoed to be warming up. Or play with other people's instrument if i ask her to get off because i need to warm up, when THEY need to warm up too. agh. it jsut feels like shes trying to make up for all the neglect shes shown me the past year. But I cant handle it anymore. The notebook that we've written in for the past 2 years lay untouched under my bed. Am I a bad friend? or was i being used this whole time? Do i give her another chance, or have I endured enough already?