Friends With Benefits |
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 Oct 12 2008, 08:46 PM
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#1
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 CheccMate Foo!  Group: Member Posts: 839 Joined: Dec 2006 Member No: 487,531  |
First and foremost, my sincerest apologies to those of you who already read and know where this topic has been prior made.
Well, as for me, I've been friends with this one girl and it's cool. She calls me up whenever she wants to chill and we hang out, have fun, and sometimes we get it on. She told me from the getgo that she didn't want to lead me on and wasn't looking for love, so I agreed and we came up with the "arrangement" (I can't think of a better word). Thing is recently, I think I got my feelings too deep in this. I'm starting to treat her like my girlfriend and she's having doubts about what we're doing. Like she started crying and told me she thought what we were doing was wrong. I told her I never made her do anything and I'm not going to, just as long as you're happy. Now it's just plain confusing and I don't know the deal with us anymore. Any advice out there in cB land? Scratch that, why lie? Would it make me evil if I slept with another girl too? |
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Oct 13 2008, 12:49 AM
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#2
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 ;) Group: Duplicate Posts: 2,374 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,760 |
^ I sorta agree with that.
I mean, even though you're technically free to get with someone else in this situation, I wouldn't suggest it. Not if you really like this girl and think there's a possibility that she'll come to her senses. Sleeping with another girl would just make the other girl jealous and everything'll end up one big mess. Girls are stupid. |
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Oct 13 2008, 12:53 AM
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#3
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 isketchaholic Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 2,977 Joined: Apr 2007 Member No: 516,154 |
QUOTE(----- @ Oct 12 2008, 10:49 PM)  Girls are stupid. amen. iuno, the girl sounds like she's feeling some guilt there maybe? she has either also fallen for you, or, what I think is more likely: has noticed your feelings and is trying to guilt trip you into leaving her alone. |
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Oct 13 2008, 12:23 PM
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#4
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 5 Joined: Oct 2008 Member No: 688,747 |
i think that the whole fwb thing never works.
 it would be nice if it did, but eventually one person gets feelings for the other person.
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Nov 8 2008, 02:43 AM
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#5
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CheccMate Foo! Group: Member Posts: 839 Joined: Dec 2006 Member No: 487,531 |
she cried another time when i tried to break it off. but now i'm back to square one. guess i'm just a sucka 4 luv.
but we dont belong to each other.. never thought it be like this. sucks, i gotta let it go. its gonna hurt huh? |
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Nov 8 2008, 03:46 AM
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#6
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 271 Joined: Feb 2008 Member No: 624,580 |
Friends with benefits are always nice, but it can get very confusing and complicated quickly. As you are finding out for yourself. I would say just sit down and have a talk with her. There is nothing wrong with having a bed buddy. You guys are both sexually attracted to each other so it's normal.
Just make sure you communicate with her and let her know how you're feeling. If you find yourself starting to fall for her and she doesn't want anything more than sex and the whole "Friend" thing. Then it may be time to take it easy for a while. You can't force her to want to be in a relationship, not that you are. I guess I am just saying that you need to talk to her. Good Luck! |
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Nov 8 2008, 01:55 PM
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#7
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CheccMate Foo! Group: Member Posts: 839 Joined: Dec 2006 Member No: 487,531 |
No, I have to let this one go. Maybe after I handle the busyness again, but yeah. Since we're not together together, she's free to talk to whoever she wants. Like she talks to other dudes and that makes me fucking angry as hell. But thing is, what can I do? I already slept with another girl that she doesn't know about. At least I cared about her and her feelings enough to lie about it and not let her know about it.
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Nov 8 2008, 03:14 PM
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#8
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 ◕ ◡ ◕ Group: Official Member Posts: 4,779 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 416,697 |
wat. you care enough about her and her feelings enough to lie to her?
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Nov 8 2008, 03:27 PM
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#9
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 tell me more. Group: Official Member Posts: 2,798 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 35,640 |
friends with benefits always turns into something else.
ive only seen it happen to friends, but it never seems to work out.. you should become her boyfriend. |
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Nov 8 2008, 04:07 PM
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#10
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 Drank wit your boy Group: Official Member Posts: 1,711 Joined: May 2008 Member No: 649,997 |
QUOTE(giraffe @ Nov 8 2008, 04:14 PM) wat. you care enough about her and her feelings enough to lie to her? What? Girls have feelings?  Then maybe I'm in the wrong here.
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Nov 8 2008, 06:01 PM
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#11
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◕ ◡ ◕ Group: Official Member Posts: 4,779 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 416,697 |
QUOTE(BanDaSnowman @ Nov 8 2008, 04:07 PM) What? Girls have feelings? Then maybe I'm in the wrong here.you're about to grow a vagina after i'm done wif you |
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Nov 8 2008, 06:21 PM
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#12
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 L!ckitySplit Group: Member Posts: 4,325 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 129,329 |
she better be worth all that man, she better be hot.
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Nov 9 2008, 11:46 AM
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#13
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CheccMate Foo! Group: Member Posts: 839 Joined: Dec 2006 Member No: 487,531 |
Come on now. Who do you take me for?
 It's fucked up. Like I just called her right before I'm going to work to talk and she didn't pick up. I bet she's sleeping in at some other dude's house or at least tired from talking to another dude. |
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Nov 9 2008, 12:44 PM
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#14
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◕ ◡ ◕ Group: Official Member Posts: 4,779 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 416,697 |
lol quit while you are ahead. obviously you got feelings in this which wasn't in the agreement at all, and you said you don't see yourself with her? it isn't wrong of either of you to sleep with other people. you can't act like a boyfriend if she doesn't want you like that.
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Nov 9 2008, 11:08 PM
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#15
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rawr? Group: Official Member Posts: 2,705 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 285,858 |
the question is, do you really want to be with her? do you want her to be your girlfriend?
i really think you should ask her what she wants. tell her that your having feelings and if she starts crying or having doubts that she doesn't want to be in this type of relationship (fwb) then don't be with her. if she does, then you have a girlfriend.. if you want, talk about the other girl you slept with because your relationship with the girl your having feelings for was FWB. cause if you guys are together, and she finds out.. then things go down hill. |
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Nov 9 2008, 11:40 PM
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#16
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 271 Joined: Feb 2008 Member No: 624,580 |
QUOTE(giraffe @ Nov 8 2008, 03:14 PM) wat. you care enough about her and her feelings enough to lie to her? Yeah that doesn't make sense to me. QUOTE I bet she's sleeping in at some other dude's house or at least tired from talking to another dude. You sound like a little scared/insecure high school boyfriend. |
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Nov 10 2008, 05:45 PM
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#17
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CheccMate Foo! Group: Member Posts: 839 Joined: Dec 2006 Member No: 487,531 |
QUOTE(applejaxkz @ Nov 9 2008, 11:40 PM) Yeah that doesn't make sense to me. You sound like a little scared/insecure high school boyfriend. My fault yall. I don't know how to make replies with multi quotes. I don't want to make her cry so I have to lie. Yes, I realize that being jealous is a waste. I'm just going to go with flow and see what happens. Enjoying being nobody's bf. |
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Nov 15 2008, 01:17 PM
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#18
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 65 Joined: Nov 2008 Member No: 697,988 |
if you guys are such 'good friends' you should be able to sit down and talk to her about what is on your mind...
I am not talking about this 'thing' whatever it is between you, i am just talking about general stuff between friends... when you have a chance and you 2 are just hanging out together, start talking to her about just stuff, and work up from there, into 'whatever this this is' that you two have... Try very hard to ask her how she feels, and let her explain what's on her mind. You might learn something. In any case, you two are either gonna fade away into nothing, or work past this. It will just take talking to each other quietly and coolly like friends. |
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Nov 15 2008, 03:01 PM
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#19
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 164 Joined: Dec 2006 Member No: 484,926 |
I agree with the people who said be her boyfriend. If she is crying, there is obviously some feelings there. Just say "Hey, Im catching feelings. I know you didn't want us to get to this point, but I can't help it. How do you feel?" Or something like that. Her response will let you know what to do. If she feels the same then you have a hot girlfriend to have sex with, as well as to love lol. If she seems a bit iffy, then you know to move on, otherwise you'll just stress yourself calling her while she's screwing another guy, (or girl if she's into that kinda thing
 lol) But having a girl on the side will just make the problem into a catastrophy that you don't want and I can almost guarantee something or someone will get cut lol.
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