Congratulations to Reidar, on behalf of you Options

[Reidar]

So, today at work, I was typing up some new obscenities to shout in Russian to homeless people when I got the fax informing me that........... I had won CreateBlog Member of the Month! It's only the most prestigious award in all of internet messageboard-dom. Even moreso than receiving the "Most Valuable Member" at the Self-Brain Surgery Enthusiasts forum.

You shouldn't have, guys. No, wait. You should have.

My representative associate, Jimmy (whom many of you may remember from my YouTube speech), reports on the circumstances of this remarkable event:




"Just what is it about Reidar that has his fans in stitches? Women want to be with him. Men want to be him. Hell, women want to be him, too.

Reidar: 'Ever since I was a child, I knew there was something special about me. I was destined for this.'

Destined, indeed. For the last few months, he's taken the internets by storm. We hit the streets to get the scoop on what people are saying about Reidar.

Steven*: 'I can't put my finger on it, but there's just something about Reidar. He's so...confident. Cool. Reserved.'

sparrowdust*: 'One suave guy, let me tell you. Reidar is just unbelievably slick.'

fameONE*: 'He's swift, like lightning.'

xquizit*: 'If only there were ten of him.'

PrIncEoFSeXaPpeAL: 'fo sho he KOOOOOO '

Despite his perfection, Reidar is, nonetheless, not without his detractors.

Tungster*: 'Behold, as I make yet another post about penises. Ahem: according to my presupposed calculations, 'tis of estimable probability that his phallus is of disproportion in equity to the degree of muscular hypertrophy his somatotype would appear to exhibit. I-I mean....HE HAS SMALL PENIS. HURR HURR.'

Jimmy to Reidar: 'How does it make you feel that, despite your obviously deserved praise, your critics still have gripes to make?'

Reidar: 'Well, you know, you learn to live with it. Keyword: you. Me, I gut them like fishes when they're sound asleep.'

Jimmy: 'You've been showered with compliments all your life. But do you ever have any doubts about yourself?'

Reidar: 'Only when I doubt myself, because then I seriously doubt the fact that I have doubt. That would infer that I'm not the most perfect amalgamation of carbon to ever exist, which is, of course, a ridiculous postulation.'

Jimmy: 'Is there anyone you give particular thanks to?'

Reidar: 'Hell no.'

Jimmy: 'Reidar, thank you so very much for taking the opportunity to bless us with this interview.'

Reidar: 'Uh huh.' (Reidar holds out his hand, and I reach for it to shake.) 'DENIED.' (He suddenly retracts it, leaving me to look pathetic and incompetent.)

Truer words have never been spoken. The consensus is clear: Reidar is here, and in a big way. From New York, this is Jimmy."




Wow. Great report, Jimmy. I'll be sure to give you a bonus refill on your cage's water bottle.

Onwards. I'm not one to brag, after all. Continue reading for one of my critically acclaimed MotM-winning posts.

hay guyz so ima winner and u suck hehehehe soooooooooo. ok srsly ima make this thread 4 a questiun i haf a prob i cant get this gurl 2 like me whuttttttttt shud i du also i need 2 lose waight if u can help need 2 get toned hehehehe

TOO LATE, CREATEBLOG. YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK. I ALREADY WON. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW, HMM? loll i kan type lyk dis all day boiiiii WHAT'S DONE IS DONE! THE AWARD IS MINE TO KEEP.


*NotactuallySteven,sparrowdust,fameONE,xquizit,andTungster.