another age gap topic., sorry guys, i guess i lack originality. Options

[mytangerine]

i know shortnsweet88 posted a topic not too terribly long ago about this, but can you please give me advice anyways? that would be so helpful

the situation isn't entirely the same, since i am 17 & he is 23. we have the most incredible connection and chemistry that i really cannot see myself finding anyone else with that degree of compatibility. we can talk about anything and everything, and physicality is not a focus at all. sure we kiss/makeout, but we talk significantly more than we do that.it is also incredibly apparent that he is not just a jerk that wants some young booty or anything, he is actually legit.

main dilemma;
telling my parents. do i or don't i? i feel horrible for hiding such a major thing like this from them, it seriously kills me. however, just today i told my mom i had gone to dinner with some older college guy friends of mine & some of their friends and she said "i don't know if i feel comfortable with you hanging out with older guys like that" that just kind of killed my hopes that she will actually be okay with it if i were to explain properly. but is hiding it from her longer really going to be better than just letting her know & perhaps dealing with the wrath that might ensue? i really expect to stay with this guy as long as possible, he really is as close to perfect as i have come to finding.

[manic]

If you really want their approval and don't want to have to sneak around, you should invite him over a few times just to hang out with you and your family, so that they can see he is a nice guy. It probably wouldn't hurt to get a copy of his driver's license and social while you're at it ;] (HeHe)

If they are just too close-minded for this, then all you can do is wait until you're 18 to let them know who you're going out with.

[anzbex]

Age is really nothing in my opinion.I know from experience.When i met my husband i was 15 he was 27!! We have been together 20 yrs ,married for 6 of those & have 3 wonderful children. I think that you should do what Manic has suggested & tell your parents & have him come meet with them.They shouldn't form an opinion of him till they have had a chance to get to know him.If they do then they are very unfair!!The age gap is not that much really!!

[*absinthe*]

Age shouldn't matter of course, but if you're afraid of what your parents would say, maybe you should wait until you're 18 to tell them. Perhaps then you'd feel more comfortable.

[mytangerine]

the thing with waiting til i'm eighteen is that i'm not eighteen until april 2nd

thank you for your responses! i was thinking of inviting him over, but i'm scared my parents will automatically assume he's a love interest since i've never talked about him before.

[towntown2]

April 2nd will roll around sooner than you think!

Wait until then.
Although be prepared to answer questions from your parents like, "Why didn't you tell us this sooner?"

In the meantime, up your maturity level so that your parents won't keel over at the thought of you with an older man.
But 6 years isn't terrible.

[mytangerine]

how would one go about upping maturity levels? i have no idea how to prove that to them, they treat me as way younger than i actually am. example;can't go to a movie at 10 o'clock because i'd be home too late... wtf, i mean i AM in college. they're lame. anyways, so i guess everyone says i should wait til april. hm.

[mipadi]

Speaking from the point of view of a 22-/almost 23-year-old guy, I kind of wonder what a 23-year-old guy would want with a 17-year-old girl.

I know that might sound a bit offensive, but at those ages, six years is a big difference. I talk to only one girl who is 6 years younger than me, and that's my friend's little sister, and that's only because I've known her since she was 4 months old. And I just think of her as a little sister, certainly not someone I'd be interested in dating.

I know your situation might be different and the guy might be completely legit, but I also don't blame your parents for not wanting their daughter to date a 23-year-old guy.

[brooklyneast05]

I know your situation might be different and the kind might be completely legit, but I also don't blame your parents for not wanting their daughter to date a 23-year-old guy.

^yeah i agree with this. if i had a 17 year old daughter i wouldn't be ok with her dating a 23 year old. i'd also be curious as to why a 23 year old is even paying any attention to a 17 year old or how they even got to be that close in the first place.


anyway, that sucks. i would personally wait until you're 18 so you can at least use the "i'm an adult now" excuse on them.

[Melissa]

I agree with mipadi and JC.

Anyways, I would also wait until you're 18. By then, if you guys are still together, you know that your relationship is solid and not based on some whim. Also, you'll have the "I'm 18" excuse for your parents (which might not always fly, but at least it's something).

[mytangerine]

we met through mutual friends, i tend to hang out with an older crowd. supposedly i am nothing like any 17 year old girl any of my college guy friends know/met [maturity wise], & that is part of the reason he's not all weirded out by the age gap. [we both used to be real iffy about it, but things have worked so well for us that we've moved past that]. so for the people that are uncertain about his intentions, i'm pretty positive he's not like that. although i won't lie, i know the situation is bizarre & it is not mean or judgemental of you to think that, since i'm sure people would/do.