What the f**k was that. Options

[Gigi]

So, I quite possibly went to the shittiest dance ever last night.

We got there maybe 15 minutes after the dance started, and the whole dance floor consisted of girls. Ugly girls. Girls I wasn't even interested in introducing myself to. Girls that even lesbians would turn straight for. Girls that had buckteeth, frizzy hair, Birkenstocks and BACKPACKS.

So we sit it out for a bit until there were some more Y chromosomes present. When there were, the dance was as rowdy as an elementary school dance. Everything stood around in a little circle with their own friends and basically jumped up and down like retards. I had more fun at my f**king 8th grade mixer.

Random guys would try to join our circle of girls, but it was an EPIC FAIL. This one guy in a bear costume just stood next to us and basically planted his feet on the floor, moved his upper torso up and down and kept pawing his hands at the air. No expression on his face. Freaked me out considerably because the bear costume reminded me of the weird fellatio scene with the guys in costumes in The Shining.

What I realized at that dance is that, it's not nerdy Asian guys that put me off, rather, it's nerdy white guys that TOTALLY put me off. You know. The guys with shaggy hair, beards, vintage t-shirts and glasses and can't dance to save their lives. Something about them makes them ooze this awkwardness that is such a turn-off.

Not that nerdy Asian guys are off the hook. One of them, while dancing with my friend, took her by the wrist and started moving her arm up and down, like a f**king marionette/puppet. WHAT THE f**k ARE YOU DOING? Are you re-enacting Bye Bye Bye by N*Sync?

But what I thought was a lame, tame dance turned into something very creepy indeed. Some guy tried to hike up my shirt while dancing, but he kept trying to pull at my shorts, thinking that it was my shirt, presumably. Okay, so, if you're going to be a pervert, AT LEAST DO IT CORRECTLY. Lots of other groping happened, to me and my other friends. I said to myself many times:

"Stop it, don't touch me there, this is my personal square. R-A-P-E, Get your hands off of me!"

f**kin' perverts.

Last but not least, we had probably the worst DJ in existence. Hunched over his Mac laptop, he constantly would apologize with, "SORRY GUYS I SUCK!" Halfway through Disturbia (which was played at 3x the speed, so Rihanna sounded like a f**king chipmunk), the music would stop. We threw beer cans at him until he played the music again. What a f**king joke.

That was another essay, sorry.

Share your experiences at a bad party/dance.