ex-bestfriend & use-to-be crush. Options

[LittleMissSunshi...]

okay, it happened a while back. but it's been bugging me.. so I use to have two best friends, Justin & Thalia. I met Justin in 8th grade and I knew Thalia from 6th grade, but we were never really close till 9th grade. anyways, I've always like Justin for the longest time but he liked me when I didn't and I did after he stopped liking me.. He liked my friends Carolina (in 8th grade) and Alessandra (beginning of 9th grade).. I became close with them because, we just all started hanging out with each other. I never really got over him because we hung out so much! We became best friends instead, and I was fine with that, because I didn't want to lose him. But recently in 9th grade, I did.. I became best friends with Thalia and Justin fell for her. They got attatched and I became the third wheel all the time. I was fed up with it, and Thalia knew I liked him.

I told her to go ahead, because I thought my feelings were gone, but everytime they hung out with me and being a third wheel.. I felt jealous, INSANELY JEALOUS.. because he was mine first! I hated it, and then in May.. Thalia sended me a message on myspace, saying we can't be friends anymore.. (she goes through a stage where when you get too close, she pushes you away, she can't really keep best friends.) I got insanely confused, so I backed away. At the end of the year, she apologized and she wanted to best friends again, and I let her in. Then over summer, she didn't want to be friends with me because I was supporting Justin (they were fighting, off and on all the time). Whatever, justin told me he wasn't going to talk to her, because she never know what she wants yadi yadi yada. Then 3 days later he goes back to her and ditches me. Obviously I was on the rebound of being a good best friend. They got close again... whatever, they're always off and on now.

Now, we're all in 10th grade.. and I have justin in my 3rd class. And we barely talk anymore.. it sucks, I miss him as my best friend and I don't know what to tell him cause I want to fix everything with him. But at the sametime I don't because he's just gonna tell everything to his girlfriend. and i don't want her to know. I see them all the time because they hang out with my group. But I stopped hanging out with that group because they were always cuddling and I don't want to be there. I made a new group with all my asian friends. I introduced thalia to my asian friends last year when I wasn't super close with them. She felt awkward then, but now she always hangs out with them. I hate it now, cause I have to keep going back and forth to one group to another.. Cause I don't want to see them together! Like they don't say hi to me, they say to everyone else.. Justin always picks his girlfriend over his best friend... and that's freaking fckd up. and thalia does the same..

I don't know if I am still jealous or what?! but... can anyone tell me why it's bugging me so much?? i don't even know.. ugh, is this like a grudge? i usually don't hold grudges.. but man, it's always bugging me when they're around. like they hang out with everyone else BUT ME.. and i'm like I FREAKING INTRODUCED YOU GUYS TO MY FRIENDS! gash.... ugh should i forget them and move on, like i've been trying or what??