My boyfriend is going to college., this is hard. Options

[AimeeLynn]

I don't know how this will work... He wants to make it work.

How can I make it work...

I felt I lost my a lot of my friends in High school since they are going far away for college too.

It's over but you can still relate to the problem if any

[tokyo-rose]

How far away is he going? Have you discussed any of this already?

[AimeeLynn]

^ nope.

and Im going to in state college that would only make me commute there.

He is going to UNH.

[*absinthe*]

I know three people who've had this situation. The first person (who's boyfriend was actually younger) went away to college for two years and when her boyfriend was a freshman in college they planned on a baby and she's currently pregnant.

The other person's boyfriend went away to college and she just followed him there...

The third person's boyfriend went away to college and the relationship failed.

[Insurmountable]

You know the best way to make this work, if you both want it to work. Is first you both need to discuss when you'll be seeing each other, how often will you guys talk, costs and things like that. How long is the drive in between? Will you guys be willing to meet half way possibly if it is really far. Do you plan on talking on the phone everyday, do you guys have good plans that can take up that much talking, etc.

It may seem like a lot, but it really isn't.

In all honestly, theres no telling what will happen when you two will separate. But its a matter of how much you both want it to work. It takes a lot of trust to be in a long distance relationship, and if your one to worry all the time if he is doing something he shouldn't..then its probably not going to work. If you guys don't keep in contact with each other, its probably not going to work.

So talk to each other, be realistic with your goals, and see what happens.

[katebaybayy]

my boyfriend is in college too so i know how youre feeling.
all i can say is if you love him itll all work out. its not so bad as long as you talk to each other everyday. it makes everything better.
just find new friends and try to make yourself busy as long as you can so it will take your mind off of everything.
good luck

[ReggieM]

college girls/parties are very tempting to a young man.

[katebaybayy]

college girls/parties are very tempting to a young man.

just as long as they keep to themselves.
actually some college guys dont party as much as you think

[mipadi]

actually some college guys dont party as much as you think

Yes. They're called engineering students.

[ReggieM]

just as long as they keep to themselves.
actually some college guys dont party as much as you think

l
im in college i go to a semi party school.I dont party HARD but shit happens. Not all guys party obviously but if he does shes in trouble...

[x-hotchocbun-x]

i'm in high school , year 12 ..

and my bf iz in university , a first year .. it's hard for me too , coz i see him rarely coz he has alot of exams and alot of work to do ..
so it was hard for me at the beginin but it's ok now =)

well .. if he's goin really far from where ur studyin now ,jst try to meet sumtimez so u cn hang around 2getha =) , tht's what i do =)

& i understand that he has to go to uni so we both cn have a great future =)

[Sandraaa]

He's going to cheat on you. Here, take this you'll need some.

[Melissa]

Of course this is going to be hard. In the end, it really depends on how much you two want it to work. Almost all of my friends who were together in high school ended up breaking up their first year of university. Some of those relationships were 3-4 years in the making. Most of the ones who didn't break up were going to the same college (or still close to each other). Then, there's the one couple I know that is still together and even so, they went through a lot of issues during the school year.

If you want things to work out, you're going to really have to work and fight for it and hope that he's doing the same thing. If you two end up like the many people who broke up, chances are that it really wont be as bad as you're probably expecting it to be. Most of the people I knew who had ended up breaking up with their bf/gf moved on pretty quickly. Just remember that college is full of new experiences and interesting people, so you wont have a lot of time to just dwell and mope around.

[IzzyGrace]

The third person's boyfriend went away to college and the relationship failed.

Aw, wow, that's comforting The closest problem I had was my best friend (ex-boyfriend) going to High School, and my parents are totally strict about me seeing guys. But then it turned out I had to move, anyway.

[AimeeLynn]

He's going to cheat on you. Here, take this you'll need some.

I would probably cheat on him way before he does... :gives flower back:

[tokyo-rose]

The University of New Hampshire? So you'll be on opposite coasts? :/

Pretty much what Holly said. You'll have to talk long and hard about this, and decide how committed you are to this relationship (which is an open one, I think? -- that makes things different). If you really care about each other, you'll somehow make it through as best as you can.

[queen]

I would probably cheat on him way before he does... :gives flower back:

from your other posts, you don't seem really commited to the relationship in the first place. i doubt you would be able to handle the long distance.

you should just break it off.

[M16A4]

If you're not going to be committed on the long run, then why are you even trying?

[AimeeLynn]

I love him... It took me long and hard to figure things out but I really want to make this work. People don't think I'm serious because I've never been and a serious relationship like this nor guys take me seriously.

[katebaybayy]

from your other posts, you don't seem really commited to the relationship in the first place. i doubt you would be able to handle the long distance.

you should just break it off.

i was a little confused when i read your post about cheating too.
cheating gets you nowhere. just a load of guilt and regret.

[katebaybayy]

Yes. They're called engineering students.

no. my bf is in linguistics and hes very commited to me. he doesnt party at all. and he goes to University of Florida. Thats like.. party heaven

[Just_Dream]

Most of the ones who didn't break up were going to the same college (or still close to each other).

People don't think I'm serious because I've never been and a serious relationship like this nor guys take me seriously.

Wait, how long have you two been together? Please specify, otherwise it's hard to know if this relationship is serious enough. Why do you think that guys don't take you seriously? Maybe you need to ask yourself why people think this way of you, because perhaps that's the problem. If you can't prove to others that you're serious when it comes to relationships, then maybe what you have with your current boyfriend isn't as serious as you make it out to be.

As for love... You know, that word has different meanings and it's tossed around a lot. Hell, I even said I loved my boyfriend after dating him for two months. Maybe I didn't know what love is at that time, but I am sure I love him now after 5.5 years.

[AimeeLynn]

background about it: (I'm typing on my itouch so bare with me)

We have been together for about 8 months and half.
I said that phrase " ill cheat on him before he cheats" because he is not that type to cheat on me... He is totally against open relationships and such. So I highly doubt he would. I was his first real gf and all.

He is going to university of new haven. I'm going to rhode island college. Its an hr and 45 mins away from each other. Not that bad right? Wrong. He is there for golf and he can only see me at the most once a month.

Love to me now is something doesn't matter how old or young you are. You just know.
For me its hard to say I love you to a person so yeah I think since we are both going to college have matured to what is a just highschool relationship to something more.

[*absinthe*]

^I think if you guys truly love each other, you'd figure it out. Plain and simple.

Aw, wow, that's comforting

The truth hurts.

[mipadi]

He is going to university of new haven. I'm going to rhode island college. Its an hr and 45 mins away from each other. Not that bad right? Wrong. He is there for golf and he can only see me at the most once a month.

I'm in a similar situation to you. I'm in grad school, and my girlfriend is a year younger and still in undergrad. Our schools are about 300 miles apart, and next year we can only see each other at most once a month. Even if we had the time to travel more often, neither of us really have the money for bus or train tickets, and neither of us own a car. But I think it'll work; we can still talk on the phone, we'll have a fun weekend every month, and it's only for a year.

I guess you have to decide whether it's worth it. Honestly, if you're going to spend four years seeing each other only once a month, I'd say screw that. That's no fun. I wouldn't be doing a long-distance thing myself if it was going to last more than a year or so.