guide to 7th grade Options

[ReggieM]

"7th Grade."

Section 1
Girls

Getting a girl
Alright, so you just graduated 6th grade. Congrats. 7th grade holy shit? Big boy time. Now that you're in big Amigo ballah status, the younger generation looks up to you. When you're in lunch always look at the 6th grade girl table and wink at girls because both you and they know you're the f**king shit. This will make your confidence go way up. Now, go up to the hottest f**king chick in junior high and start spittin that hot shit Amigo. "Hey whats up?" "I gotta friend who likes you :-)" Next, continue letting her think you really have a friend then get her screenname. It's way easier to talk to girls on AIM or myspace I mean come on. Are you a f**king street douche? This isn't the 50's. Girls have computers and can now wear pants. Dick. Sign on to your devilbat81-esque screenname and start spittin that crazy shit. Say your friends name is a name that is very similar to yours. If your name is Roger, you're a f**king douche, but anyway, say his names Poger. Get it? Then she'll be like oh yeah. Then f**king cast level 3: erotica and she'll be on your cock. FOR REAL.

"I'm ready to take our relationship to the next level."
Alright, now you got the bitch. GJ GJ. c**t. Now, here comes the shit. DROPIIN BAWMS. Alright, kissing. Holy shit cooties? No you f**k. You're in 7th grade you pompous bitch. Kissing comes easy, don't be a bitch about it. Kiss the Amigo all the time. Then when she's comfy wit it yo, feel her tit. Don't squeeze. Bitches git cancer. Aight, now what you always want to remember is never let the bitch give you a hickie. It's such an awkward situation when your bitch is sucking on your neck and you don't have anything else to do but sit and stare and not move. f**k that. And if you get one, someones bound to see it somewhere, which is awkward because it's always made fun of. Never bragged about. You're not gonna get any farther in 7th grade, so f**k you.

Breaking up
OMG! OMG! Is the bitch getting to you yet? Yeah, thats what I f**king thought. f**k you, toy. Gurgle my dick you 7th grade piece of shit. K, when you wanna dump the slut, always write a note and get your friend to give it to her friend. Don't be anywhere near the location of the delivery of the note or receiving of break up. Awkward my Amigo. What sucks about grade school is that you always see the bitch. Avoid the slut as much as possible, even on the playground. In gym class, always look away when the kid picking teams has already picked the girl. Oh and get all the black kids to f**k her up.


Section 2
Academics

Classwork
Holy shit? Long f**king division? BULLSHIT. Always be a badass to your teachers. But just enough to where to don't get in trouble. Say you're sitting in Science, learning about precipitation (WHO DA FUH KAREZ RITE?!) and the teacher calls on you when you're not paying attention. Don't be a noob and say "I'm sorry what was the question?" What you say is "I'm sorry twat, I wasn't paying attention to this f**king bullshit. f**k you and your f**king tie you douchebag." You won't get in trouble. You'll just be rewarded by laughter by your peers. Which is sweet!

Art Class
On every project you do in art class, draw a dick. Thats all you need to do.

Phys. Ed
Phys Ed is possibly the best part of anyones elementary school career, so worship it retard. When you play with basketballs, always throw them at pretty girls faces. When you play with baseballs, always throw them at pretty girls faces. When you play Ultimate Football, always tackle the kid who's kind of no bueno. ( Every grade school has one or two) Then kick the shit out of him when he's down because he'll possibly not get hurt in the tackling process. Always try to slam dunk in basketball games and never pass the ball. Then when you lose, whine and cry to the ref and throw the basketball down or at the stands of parents watching. When you have a substitute teacher, this is the best. Always say that that day is the day we get a free day and play with anything we want from the storage closet. Then get those baseball bats and get you and your friends to go beat up the sub and then blame it on the gothic kids. If you are one of these gothic kids, never participate, and take the bad grade. I mean, they're just joking when they say that anyway. They give you 100's everyday.

Libary Class
When you go to the library, always check out the books that showcase your anarchy. Hardy boys? f**k THAT. Always go for the World Encyclopedias and never return them. They're mad paper, sell that shit or use the pages for doobie snacks. Start a fight with a black kid. Make him push you into one of the bookshelves and it'll knock over. Every single person in the world wants to see one of those things tip over and possibly have someone crushed, so give them what they want. Always make an excuse to use the libary's computer, and get it viruses and then pick it up and smash it on the ground right in front of the teacher and look her square in the eye and belch.

Section 3
Extracurricular


Field Trips
YES! The best part. Where are you going this year? The f**king zoo? Hot damn, lets go. On the bus ride to said location, be a f**king G. Throw shit at cars passing by, shout shit at pedestrians, possibly finger a girl. As you arrive at your checkpoint of field tripping, shit gets intense yo! As you pass the bus driver when you're getting off, say "thank you sir" if she's a woman and "thanks ma'am" if he's a man and say "what the f**k are you doing with your life" if he or she is very fat. When you enter the zoo, be a badass! See those goats? f**k those goats! See those lions? Hell yeah you see those lions. Cool animals. See those monkeys? f**k those monkeys. Taunt them in anyway possible, possibly showing your newly painted yellow penis. Eat this Amigo. On the bus ride home, throw the rocks you found at the zoo at police cars. Field trips are the bomb.com, so remember them well.

Fighting
If you're thinking about fighting someone, don't worry about how big they are or how many friends they have. They won't beat you because you're you and way better than everyone. Always talk about the fight so a big crowd is sure to arrive. When your opponent arrives, take out that bat and have all your friends run around the corner and destroy that sapsucker. If his friends try and stop the destruction, maul them with those bats. It's Killa Season. No remorse N I N J Ahz.

Graduation
So you graduated 7th grade. Big f**king deal. Nobody cares because the 8th graders graduate too. f**king