Ex-boyfriend trouble. Options

[iiTsDAYNA]

So basically I want my ex-boyfriend back. I broke up with him because we constantly had trouble with this girl who likes him. She'd start sh*t with me and him saying how he meets up with her whenever he's not with me and they have sex. That they were friends with benefits before we started dating and all that JAZZ. Well I was starting to get really tired of it because it was constant. So I figured, It's not worth all the drama and stress I had to go through... on top of all that he worked all the time, and it was usually out of town for weeks at a time and while he was gone one week I started hanging out with another guy and while we were still going out I kissed this other guy. I started liking this other guy. Well I broke up with my boyfriend because I thought me and this guy were going to hit it off. Well, the guy used me.

Let me make a note here, my ex is the guy I lost my virginity to & I want him back.

Within a week he told me he was talking to someone else. The whole week I told him I'm not over him. The following week he asked this other girl out. It killed me on the inside. IS IT POSSIBLE HE COULD HAVE MOVED ON THAT QUICK?

I've still been texting him and calling him. His girlfriend is in Alaska on vacation, and I met up with him. He kept flirting with me like he used to when we were going out. For example, he took this groveling(?) hook and poked me on my butt with it and he's like I know you like that kinky stuff or whatever. And he'd keep bringing up the things we used to do. And he took my cell phone and we chased each other. little things like this make me think HE MAY NOT BE OVER ME YET, and THAT HE'S JUST USING HER AS A REBOUND IN ATTEMPT TO GET OVER ME?

I had a conversation with him last night, and I asked him to come talk to me somewhere. And he said I'm horny and I can't cause if I do we might end up having sex. I said SO? and he was like I have a g/f and I reminded him that she wont do anything sexual with him. And he said well thats what you said too before we had sex.

How can I get him back? I really like him, and I'm starting to think that I'm in love with him. HELP?

[iiTsDAYNA]

how can i be more than a decision like you said? Cause thats the problem I want to be it and only it again... I just dont know how to get him back to that point.

[tokyo-rose]

Did he and the girl actually have sex?

You deserve a lot better than him. Don't go back to him.

[iiTsDAYNA]

no she did it so we'd break up. She lied.

[aaayotiffany]

it seems like he's just using you to have you there. i think you should move on. it'll be hard but you should never let a guy think that he can keep you around like that.

[tinababy143]

you cant do or say anything to get him back. if he truly cares and wants to be with you, he would. leave him alone for a while && maybe something will hit him && he'll realize that he could possibly be losing a good thing. if he doesnt realize..then he obviously didnt care..ya know what i mean??

[karmakiller]

I agree with everyone else and think that you should move on. You're just making it harder on yourself if you keep talking with him. He has a girlfriend, and it isn't fair to her. If he is committed to someone else and still flirting with you who's to say that might not happen if he leaves her and gets back together with you. It just seems like when you two are around each other all those old feelings come back and it's like you're a different person when you're with him. Also, he knows you well enough to know what buttons to push and that isn't what you need right now.

[iiTsDAYNA]

Well.. I guess ya'll are right. It's killing me inside and he knows it.

[Butterflyphoenix]

Well, how to get over your boyfriend. You said YOU broke up with him right? So the best way to get over it is to think about WHY you broke up with him. There has to more than one reason why you dumped him just because of another guy.

What made you want to break up him for someone else? You're just dwelling in the past and that ain't healthy. The fact that he knows that he's hurting you emotionally, makes him sound like a lil bit of a jerk, if you ask me. (Maybe that can also help you stop thinking so much about him.) But then again, I don't know the whole story. Gluck!

[mizzkewl06]

If you move on to someone else, he will see. And he will follow. Like a lost puppy.

By that time, he doesn't even matter any more. You win twice.

agreed. that's the best and only way.

[libertie]

Honestly, I wouldn't try to do anything with him while he's with this girl. It would be awful to put someone you care about in such an awkward situation and he might resent you for it even if he made the initial decision to give in. There's always the possibility that he'll come around, but if you depend on it, you'll just end up being disappointed if he doesn't. Also try to consider whether you want him back because you care about him, or if it's because you don't want him to be with anyone else. Being possessive is not necessarily the same thing as actually caring about someone, and it's not the most healthy way to exist in a relationship either.

About your question as to how he could have moved on so quickly.. I didn't think it was possible, but found out the hard way that some people don't have a problem with dropping you like a hat for someone else. The thing is, if he's not thinking about you he's probably fine. Which means if you guys don't really talk to each other, it's no big deal. But spending time with him, you both feel comfortable with the familiarity of the other person and forget that there was a reason you broke up in the first place. If he's got a girlfriend and no immediate plans to break up with her, I'd stay away because you're only making it harder on both of you. Sorry if none of that reads correctly, it's really early.

[iiTsDAYNA]

Thanks you guys. I appreciate all the help.