Really.. Lost Options

[dpl313]

So I've went out on a few dates recently with a couple of girls. The dates seem to go well, but when we talk about relationships and what not.. I get confused. Mainly because when I date it's for the hopes of getting into a serious relationship.

But I've been told by some girls different things like

- I don't make a good gf
- I'm not ready for commitment, because I don't want a jealous bf
- I just want friendships right now

So I listen to girls say those excuses, but at times I'll get a girl to ask me for advice about a guy while on the date. Most of the time it's simple questions like why won't the guy commit, etc. I've tried to make the effort to show that I want to be more than a friend, but things don't turn out well.

Most recently I have a female friend I've went out with more than any of my female friends. I like her a lot. At times she'll blow me off and at times she'll want to hangout. When we hangout there are times when I swear she shows signs of interest. I told her how I feel recently, and she put me in the friends category. She told me she got out of a relationship in August, and she was saying she was working out personal issues. I keep thinking what does that have to do with anything when it's pretty much April??

Like a dummy I woke up this morning and I had her on my mind. I called her and she was on her way to church. We talked briefly. You could tell I called at a bad time, but she was just giggling at some of the stuff I was saying. I really wanna be with her... but how do I get out of the friends category??

Also, my cousin has been observing my situation with dating. He keeps telling me I should just go out and get laid. He keeps saying I'm too young to want a serious relationship, and all I should be worried about is being out for the screw. He's 18 and I'm 21. At first I kept saying you're wrong. But I don't know anymore. Should I just be out for screwing chicks??

[Be-Faithful]

oh my god


what a long text, I just read the first sentence


SO

if you went out on a few day recently with a couple of girls


have you f**ked all 2 or just 1 ?

[dpl313]

None of them.. that's not what I want right now. No.. I'm not gay!! That's not a long text.. It's lengthy, but not long.

[Melissa]

Hm, this seems like the millionth time you've posted something like this.

When you're 21, you should definitely start looking for a longer, serious relationship. While a once in a while hook-up is okay, most people are starting to actually get into real relationships.

The thing is - I really think you're trying too hard. When you say 'date,' what do you mean? Because most girls go on dates to get past the friendship zone. Are you sure they know it's a date? Or do they think they're just hanging out with you as a friend when YOU think it's a date.

My advice is to stop thinking so hard about things and analyzing every girl's actions, stop asking them questions like what they look for in a guy or if they want someone who commits, and stop asking them if you would be good boyfriend material. Questions like that drive me away because it makes the guy seem desperate. Just chill out and let whatever happens happen.

[karmakiller]

At first I thought you were a chick, the "i make a bad gf" part threw me off. Honestly, if she's like this when you guys are friends (as far as her erratic behaviour) do you think it's going to get better if you get in a relationship with her?

[dpl313]

heartquasm: You said, "most girls go on dates to get past the friendship zone. Are you sure they know it's a date? Or do they think they're just hanging out with you as a friend when YOU think it's a date." In pretty much every date I've been on both sides know it's a date.

You said, "When you say 'date,' what do you mean?" I mean like going out to lunch or something. Hanging out, etc.

You said, "My advice is to stop thinking so hard about things and analyzing every girl's actions, stop asking them questions like what they look for in a guy or if they want someone who commits, and stop asking them if you would be good boyfriend material. Questions like that drive me away because it makes the guy seem desperate. Just chill out and let whatever happens happen."

I can't help analyzing a girl's actions. I'm an analytical person, and that's in my nature. I do ask what a girl looks for in a guy, but I don't ask the other 2 questions you mentioned. The thing you said about chilling out, etc. I've been told something similar to that. Like go with the flow. I can't just chill, because when I try to chill bad things end up happening to me(dating wise.) How do you just let whatever happen happen??

[Glamourouz]

You are 21, not 31; just chill (despite your past experiences; they happen to everyone) & keep dating and when I say dating I mean date multiple people; not screw, but go out; that way you can eliminate the people that aren't on the same page as you are & focus on the ones that are until something happens...stop analyzing, asking people uncomfortable questions, etc. just chill, take your time, stop thinking "I have to find a girlfriend", blah blah blah & just think "I'd like to get to know this female" & just let everything fall into place...being desperate & too much is always a turn off...Some females just want to have fun & then there are some females who feel the same as you...you just have to get to that female...one day, maybe not today, tomorrow, this month, this yr, but one day...

[sugarrcube]

i would kinda agree with ur cousin lol. i mean go screw girls but safely and all that. go have fun!! u'r still 21!!!!! that rhymes yay lol. it seems that u want a serious relationship, but i think it aint happening yet coz u keep looking for it. juss hav fun and giv it time. let the relationship look for u

[illriginal]

oh my god
what a long text, I just read the first sentence
SO

if you went out on a few day recently with a couple of girls
have you f**ked all 2 or just 1 ?

Why... why do you choose to type correctly rarely and most of the time you type the weirdest way ever?? WHY?!?!?!?

[sugarrcube]

HAHAHAHHAHA. i juss think tama is funny lol.