my new poem..ugh |
 Mar 7 2008, 09:17 PM
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#1
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Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 114 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 598,863  |
please critique it...thanks, your thoughts will be greatly appreciated.
I’m sorry for everything I wonder day by day, As to why I feel this way Contemplating my own actions, Reverting to past fractions, I ask myself, Why people do the things they do? And say the things they say? I’m sorry for everything, Everything I put you and your heart through I’m sorry for breaking your promises I’m sorry for not trying hard enough, I’m sorry for not understanding you, I’m sorry for everything I cannot express my love, You are the sun on my dark gloomy days I love you, I need you, you are my everything I'd do anything to make you happy if you just trust me. |
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Mar 7 2008, 09:31 PM
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#2
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 Thread Killer Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 1,012 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 530,544 |
So by the ugh you wrote, I'm guessing you don't like it? It's short and sweet. Your rhyming scheme is pretty cool too. It's good.
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Mar 7 2008, 09:39 PM
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#3
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 I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite :-) Group: Official Member Posts: 3,008 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 601,399 |
i like it!
good job |
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Mar 8 2008, 02:35 AM
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#4
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 114 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 598,863 |
no, I like it but, the poem describes my current situation with my girlfriend.
Thanks, I really appreciate the responses |
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| *yrrnotelekktric* |
Mar 10 2008, 01:45 AM
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#5
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Guest |
I like it.
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