Shadow's of Angel's |
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 Oct 29 2007, 11:21 PM
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#1
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Member  Group: Member Posts: 15 Joined: Oct 2007 Member No: 585,758  |
When the shadow's are overhead
I realize were as good as dead without you i sink in sorrow and hope were all better tomorrow so now i lay on the floor hoping you'll come through that door so when i wake by mornings light you'll be first in my sight but you don't return to me ever and i wonder if well ever be together so through life i flow in despair wishing that you were there but as i die i wonder why you had gone and why you werent there at dawn but as i gaze upon the angel i realize the angel is you as we rise through the skies i look into your translucant eye's and realize why you never came... |
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Nov 13 2007, 09:32 PM
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#2
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 That's what she said. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 3,559 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 130,200 |
Your system of writing reminds me of the way I write poetry. Its a very deep and beautiful poem. May I suggest a few adjustments?
QUOTE so when i wake by mornings light you'll be the first in my sight QUOTE so through life i flow in despair wishing that you would be there QUOTE but as i gaze upon the angel i realize that angel was you  Hope that helps! |
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Nov 16 2007, 11:52 AM
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#3
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Member Group: Member Posts: 15 Joined: Oct 2007 Member No: 585,758 |
thanks dude
it took me awhile to make that one cause i kept questioning parts but thanks again |
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