A lover suffering from alzheimers falls in love with another., sadd. Options

[pandamonium]

I wanted this to be in the relationship section cause this isnt really big news. It deals with relationships more than news, but if you move it thats ok.

Well for those of you that dont know, Sandra Day O'Connor retired because of her husband that suffers from alzheimers.

But the thing is her husband forgot that he was married and fell in love with someone who also suffers from alzheimers. Sandra said herself said that she is happy that her husband is doing well and happy, and that is all she cares about.

Her son says that his father acts like a teenager when he is with his new lover.

but isnt that the saddest thing ever .....

your husband forgets about you and falls in love with someone else . I couldnt imagine how i would feel. But I wanna give her a hug so bad. thats just so sad.

what do you think about your significant other forgetting about you because of alzheimers?

Retired Justice Sandra Day O'Connor's husband, who suffers from Alzheimer's, has found a new romance, and his happiness is a relief to his wife, an Arizona TV report reveals.

The report, which quoted the couple's oldest son, Scott O'Connor, focused on Alzheimer's patients who forget their spouses and fall in love with someone else. Experts say the scenario is somewhat common.


Offering a glimpse into the private life of a woman who has remained on the public stage since her Supreme Court retirement in 2006 to care for her husband, the report spotlighted John O'Connor, 77. He and the woman, referred to only as "Kay," live at a Phoenix facility for people with Alzheimer's.

"Mom was thrilled that Dad was relaxed and happy and comfortable living here and wasn't complaining," Scott, 50, told KPNX-Channel 12 in Phoenix in a story that aired Thursday. The station is owned by Gannett, as is USA TODAY.

Though Sandra Day O'Connor, 77, did not appear in the television report, it gave a rare look at the life of the nation's first female justice. The family's willingness to highlight an aspect of a heart-wrenching illness recalled O'Connor's decision in 1994 to go public with her feelings about breast cancer.

In a speech to the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship, she spoke about discovering the cancer in 1988 and undergoing a mastectomy.

Scott compared his father to "a teenager in love" and said, "For Mom to visit when he's happy -- visiting with his girlfriend, sitting on the porch swing holding hands," was a relief after a painful period.

The O'Connors, who have three children, met at Stanford Law School and married in 1952. John O'Connor left a partnership at a Phoenix law firm to come to Washington with his wife in 1981. He worked for D.C. law firms but was limited in his ability to take on matters that could come before the justices.

As her husband's disease became more difficult to handle, O'Connor retired.

She was traveling Monday and could not be reached for comment.

Peter Reed, senior director of programs at the Alzheimer's Association in Chicago, said the frequency of Alzheimer's patients forming new romantic relations is hard to estimate. "But the underlying causes of this are fairly common," he said. Though patients lose their cognitive abilities and experience mood changes, "one of the things that doesn't go away is the need for relationships."

"Justice O'Connor is certainly to be commended for -- raising awareness and helping to reduce stigmas," he said.

Lisa O'Toole, manager at the center where John O'Connor resides, said the facility participated in the TV report "to educate the public about the disease process."

Reed said 5 million Americans have the progressive brain disease that affects memory and behavior.

Copyright 2007 USA TODAY, a division of Gannett Co. Inc. All Rights Reserved.

[tokyo-rose]

Wow, that is pretty sad. I didn't think a situation like that could happen. I'm sorry it happened to Sandra Day O'Connor, but I'm glad she's trying to have a positive attitude about it.

I would definitely be sad if that happened to me, and maybe resentful of the person my significant other fell in love with. But ultimately I'd try to adopt the same attitude as Sandra Day O'Connor did.

[icecreamisyummy]

he married a good person

[MissFits]

That women is definitely a lot stronger than I would be in that situation. I can't imagine being married to someone with Alzheimer's and then having them forget about you! That is really tragic.

[queen]

yah, it's sad, but i could understand the feeling of relief she must have. i mean, his illness probably put the family through a lot. if someone i love finally found happiness, i'd be happy, too.

[RyanWasHere]

I heard this on the news...I couldn't imagine being in that situation...it's so sad and gives so much hope at the same time...it's impossible to not have mixed emotions for me

[ayreezh]

that's just sad... i can't imagine myself in her spot..T^T

[Rachel]

But wouldn't the two Alzheimer patients forget about loving each other as well....

[arcanum]

^ Maybe they only forgot everything that happened before they got alzheimers? What would that be, like long-term alzheimers, or something?


Anyway, I would be crushed if that happened to me. Thats really sad. I really couldn't imagine that.

[RyanWasHere]

But wouldn't the two Alzheimer patients forget about loving each other as well....

Maybe eventually, I don't really know much about Alzheimer's, I just know it causes mass breakdown and deteriorate of portions of the brain, not sure exactly what that en tales...that's possible though, either way you look at it, it's a pretty sad situation, I can't speak for him or anyone else suffering from it personally, but from the outside looking in...sounds lonely.

[Rachel]

It's a terrible, terrible disease. My great grandmother doesn't remember who I am most of the time, let alone her own daughter. She does have good day though, I wonder if Sandra's husband ever has those days where he remembers that she is really his wife?

[Just_Dream]

Alright, no one mentioned this, so I'm going to say it now:

Remember watching The Notebook?! When I saw this topic title, it totally reminded me of it! Well okay, not exactly paralleled, but the link's there.

Oh wow... I mean she's been with him for over 50 years (since 1952!) and she has to part with him. If I had to part with my future husband after a 50 year marriage due to such a disease, I'd probably go into a state of depression for a long time. This is such an unfortunate story, but she's such a strong person. Not only did she have to deal with SC issues when she was still on the US SC, but she had to deal with her husband's disease as well.


Wow... To know that a disease can make someone forget you in the blink of an eye, so easily. To feel the cold hard stare of someone who doesn't even recognize you -- and most likely never will. To be forced to accept such an event and watch as the one you loved for so long (and mostly still love) love someone else. And the saddest part of this all is that it's beyond anyone's control.


Rachel - Aww. But that's great that she does still remember you once in a while -- that's what you mean by her having a good day, right?