Some CC, HELP Options

[wishforhelsinki]

I'm horrible with essays. Please, someone, if anyone, could you tell me if this is good enough to be deemed a final draft.

Pangilinan 1


Nikkola __________
Mrs. _________
English 10 ACC
Period 4
November 13, 2007

Pledge to Sisterhood
In a 20th century one-room schoolhouse, we meet Mary and Kass in Katherine Mansfield’s short story, “Mary”. The two sisters have a conflicted bond with each other due to their unforgiving differences. People assume that loyalty to family is first priority, but when competition comes in between, intentions are reconsidered.
We find Kass and Mary to be quite opposite of one another in the beginning of the story. Kass describes herself as “a strong, fat little child who burst my buttons,” (Mansfield 71), whereas Mary is compared to a weed. Mary also faces a reading disability rendering Kass to be protective of her. We are given the implication that she feels the necessity to take responsibility for Mary. An example of her taking such action would be when she uses the statement, “Please, Teacher, she means something quite different,” (72) to excuse her incorrect answer.
These acts of Kass, however, also show that she prides herself in her intellectuality. Her pride then is challenged in a poetry recital where she must compete with Marry. Acknowledging Mary’s reading dilemma, she has to choose between her desire for recognition or supporting her sister with her deepest insecurity. She eventually chooses the latter, pleading with her teacher not to “tell anybody, and don’t let the others tell her,” (74) referring to Mary when she asks to reward her sister with the prize if she has won instead.
Pangilinan 2
But when her teacher agrees to cooperate, she soon feels the itch of resentment as the “devil enters her soul” (76).
Self-sacrifice is ultimately put to the test as Kass once again encounters the conflict of picking and putting aside. The idea of informing Mary of her false victory enters her mind and in the moment, we observe her mentally calculating the worth of speaking of it. We can create the image of a girl’s outline in the night, “standing on one leg, watching her sister asleep” (76). We find ourselves clutching on the corners of the page as the brinks to a conclusion starts closing, and cheer as Kass announces she instead has “stooped suddenly and Kissed Mary” (76) rather than awaken her to unpleasant news.
We witness Kass placing Mary before her in the situation of sibling rivalry. Kass had given in completely to selflessness for the sake of Mary’s happiness. This shows us regardless of one’s favored possession, an innominate object could not outdo the loving care for kindred, even if caught in one tempting second. This is a lesson we could consume in our hearts and learn to appreciate one another and the gift of giving to those we wish to keep close and treasure dearly.

[wishforhelsinki]

It's for high school, hah. And can you point out my errors for me?

I guess it does lack 'the works' as you've said, I worked on it the night before it was due and never tried to revise it. I haven't even turned it in yet.