mom/self-esteem issues |
 Oct 18 2007, 12:55 PM
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#1
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 shboom =]  Group: Member Posts: 160 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 505,693  |
my mom has always talked about how she hated me and i would never ammount to anything and all this crap. she has always made me feel like i was worthless and like i just needed to die...and things just always seem to keep getting worse..
and now because of her i rly have no self-esteem... i hate myself and i guess its because she has put me down so much and it's all i've ever heard that after a while i just started believeing that it was true.. like when ever i date a guy i always feel like they shouldn't be with me and that they should be with someone better than me.. and i always feel like i don't deserve anything good... any suggestions on how i can get better self-confidence? and now a lil bit more about my mom.... she treats me like shit when we're not around ppl... and then when we're in front of ppl i'm like an angel to her... she so confusing cause one min she hates me and wants me dead and the next she loves me and is bragging about me.. i'm almost 18 and she treats me like a 2 yr old. any suggestions on what i can say or do to get it over to my mom that i won't take her shit any more? |
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Oct 18 2007, 01:03 PM
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#2
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 Addict Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 3,918 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 538,522 |
Firstly, I'm sorry that you're having to go through all this with your mom. It sounds like she has some serious issues herself.
To start with, I'd say pretty much raise what you've told us here with your mom. Remember that you need to stay civil and try not to raise your voice at her. It's difficult giving advice in these sorts of situations; and it's really up to you how you handle it as noone here really knows yourself or your mom. Do you have a dad to talk to about this, or a close friend or relative? As for your self-esteem; I would guess that your mom has low self esteem too, and that she reacts by taking it out on you. This isn't on and could possibly be construed as psychological abuse. |
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Oct 18 2007, 01:09 PM
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#3
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shboom =] Group: Member Posts: 160 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 505,693 |
QUOTE(S-Majere @ Oct 18 2007, 02:03 PM)  Firstly, I'm sorry that you're having to go through all this with your mom. It sounds like she has some serious issues herself. To start with, I'd say pretty much raise what you've told us here with your mom. Remember that you need to stay civil and try not to raise your voice at her. It's difficult giving advice in these sorts of situations; and it's really up to you how you handle it as noone here really knows yourself or your mom. Do you have a dad to talk to about this, or a close friend or relative? As for your self-esteem; I would guess that your mom has low self esteem too, and that she reacts by taking it out on you. This isn't on and could possibly be construed as psychological abuse. yea it is alot to go thru especially since this is my senior year and all.. and as far as having ppl to talk to um..i used to have ppl to talk like my dad and relatives and stuff but she has like turned them all agaisnt me telling them how bad of a person i am...i mean yea i've made mistkes but who is perfect?? NOBODY!! |
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Oct 18 2007, 01:28 PM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 550 Joined: Mar 2007 Member No: 509,557 |
Ignore her.And tell her that you'll make it without her.Prove it to her.
No one should have to go through that. |
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Oct 18 2007, 01:56 PM
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#5
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Addict Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 3,918 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 538,522 |
QUOTE(barbieeedollxo @ Oct 18 2007, 01:09 PM) yea it is alot to go thru especially since this is my senior year and all.. and as far as having ppl to talk to um..i used to have ppl to talk like my dad and relatives and stuff but she has like turned them all agaisnt me telling them how bad of a person i am...i mean yea i've made mistkes but who is perfect?? NOBODY!! It's very doubtful that your mom has turned everyone 'against you'. You have every right to be heard and she should realise this. Start by very calmly explaining how upset you are - but do not directly accuse her of anything until you are sure she will give your thoughts serious consideration. You could start by having a quick chat with your dad and see what he says. |
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Oct 18 2007, 06:11 PM
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#6
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 ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 14,309 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,593 |
I say take a poison pill and put it in her drink. That way you will take care of your miseries.
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Oct 18 2007, 06:19 PM
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#7
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 Live long and prosper. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 5,525 Joined: Nov 2006 Member No: 478,024 |
You are 18?
Maybe its time for you to move in with a friend or other family member who cares and get out of that. Your mother doesn't deserve to have a daughter if she treats you like that. |
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| *jeanna* |
Oct 18 2007, 07:20 PM
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#8
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Guest |
i know exactly how you feel.
my mom would try everything to make me feel like crap just because she was jealous of me. yes, mothers can get jealous. if you don't leave that right now, you'll never be happy. she won't change. don't listen to your mom. she hates you so she'll say anything. like high school girls. |
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Oct 18 2007, 07:56 PM
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#9
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 yes......and? Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 209 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 94,410 |
I agree with some of what others have mentioned, if you're able to move out I seriously suggest you do so. If you can't afford the means financially to move out on your own then perhaps try staying with a friend or another family member for a while, to get away from all the negativity.
Also, if you're still struggling to deal with low self esteem issues seeing a counselor to help you work through those problems may help. Best of luck to you. |
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Oct 18 2007, 08:43 PM
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#10
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 tell me more. Group: Official Member Posts: 2,798 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 35,640 |
damn, i thought my parents were annoying.
yeah moving out ASAP is the best move. Then you can have a fresh start. Make sure to get a job b/c that does three things: -gives you the feeling you are needed -provides money -gives you a responsibility |
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Oct 19 2007, 11:26 AM
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#11
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shboom =] Group: Member Posts: 160 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 505,693 |
thanks you guys for all the advice. but i won't be 18 until december 19th. so yea until then i can't do shit except deal with it. and my mom made me quit my job so i have no money to even move out. so yea it sucks.
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Oct 19 2007, 11:28 AM
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#12
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٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 14,309 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,593 |
How can she force you to quit? What the f**k?
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| *jeanna* |
Oct 19 2007, 11:33 AM
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#13
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QUOTE(tungmyBANANA @ Oct 19 2007, 11:28 AM) How can she force you to quit? What the f**k? she's not an adult yet. and im sure there were consequences if she didnt listen... |
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Oct 19 2007, 11:34 AM
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#14
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shboom =] Group: Member Posts: 160 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 505,693 |
QUOTE(tungmyBANANA @ Oct 19 2007, 12:28 PM) How can she force you to quit? What the f**k? cause she called up to my work while i was at school one day and told them that i was quitting. so yea i was so effing pissed. but i talked to my boss on myspace and so when i turn 18 i can come back up there and have my job back. cause everybody that i work with hates my mom. |
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Oct 19 2007, 02:41 PM
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#15
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 BANG Group: Member Posts: 394 Joined: Aug 2007 Member No: 565,234 |
I say start talking to her about it iff your not ready to move out and when ever she even starts to say somthing bad about you, BLOW UP EVERYTIME. Even the slightest thing she says, blow up. That way she'll get so pissed off and soo annoyed that she'll stop bugging you. And when your infront of other people, don't act like everythings ok, when your mom's trying to be nice JUST STRAIGHT UP AND SAY "How come your so nice all the sudden? Your not ususally like this."
Use her own game against her. My dad used to physicallly and mentally abuse me. Until i called the police on him. |
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Oct 19 2007, 10:37 PM
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#16
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shboom =] Group: Member Posts: 160 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 505,693 |
yea my mom is just a total bitch. she tries to control every single thing i do. and im like never even allowed to hang out with friends.. it sucks.
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Oct 24 2007, 06:42 AM
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#17
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 (′ ･ω･｀) Group: Official Designer Posts: 6,179 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 72,477 |
pretend you're just the best. you look beautiful, people like you, you deserve the best. sooner or later you'll look beautiful, people like you, and you deserve the best.
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Oct 24 2007, 11:24 AM
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#18
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shboom =] Group: Member Posts: 160 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 505,693 |
QUOTE(sugar_street @ Oct 24 2007, 07:42 AM) pretend you're just the best. you look beautiful, people like you, you deserve the best. sooner or later you'll look beautiful, people like you, and you deserve the best. thanks..i'll try it. |
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Oct 24 2007, 11:28 AM
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#19
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٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 14,309 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,593 |
QUOTE(sugar_street @ Oct 24 2007, 04:42 AM) pretend you're just the best. you look beautiful, people like you, you deserve the best. sooner or later you'll look beautiful, people like you, and you deserve the best. Wow. This coming from a 15 year old girl from Hong Kong who dates a 28 year old guy who's poor and plays Gunbound 15 hours a day and from California? |
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Oct 24 2007, 11:31 AM
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#20
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shboom =] Group: Member Posts: 160 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 505,693 |
QUOTE(tungmyBANANA @ Oct 24 2007, 12:28 PM) Wow. This coming from a 15 year old girl from Hong Kong who dates a 28 year old guy who's poor and plays Gunbound 15 hours a day and from California? do you gotta be mean?? haha. |
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Oct 25 2007, 05:46 AM
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#21
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(′ ･ω･｀) Group: Official Designer Posts: 6,179 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 72,477 |
QUOTE(tungmyBANANA @ Oct 25 2007, 12:28 AM) Wow. This coming from a 15 year old girl from Hong Kong who dates a 28 year old guy who's poor and plays Gunbound 15 hours a day and from California? and this comes from the guy who enjoys bananas in his a-hole. |
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| *jeanna* |
Oct 25 2007, 10:57 AM
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#22
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QUOTE(barbieeedollxo @ Oct 19 2007, 11:34 AM) cause she called up to my work while i was at school one day and told them that i was quitting. so yea i was so effing pissed. but i talked to my boss on myspace and so when i turn 18 i can come back up there and have my job back. cause everybody that i work with hates my mom. well it's good that is settled and other people know how your mom acts. my mom would put on a mask around everyone and act like an angel. no one believed me when i would tell them things that happened. 
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Oct 25 2007, 11:26 AM
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#23
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shboom =] Group: Member Posts: 160 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 505,693 |
QUOTE(jeanna @ Oct 25 2007, 11:57 AM) well it's good that is settled and other people know how your mom acts. my mom would put on a mask around everyone and act like an angel. no one believed me when i would tell them things that happened. yea thats how my mom is. and some ppl still don't believe me but others do cause they finally started catching on. |
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| *Steven* |
Oct 25 2007, 12:10 PM
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#24
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QUOTE(barbieeedollxo @ Oct 18 2007, 12:55 PM) my mom has always talked about how she hated me and i would never ammount to anything and all this crap. she has always made me feel like i was worthless and like i just needed to die...and things just always seem to keep getting worse.. QQand now because of her i rly have no self-esteem... i hate myself and i guess its because she has put me down so much and it's all i've ever heard that after a while i just started believeing that it was true.. like when ever i date a guy i always feel like they shouldn't be with me and that they should be with someone better than me.. and i always feel like i don't deserve anything good... any suggestions on how i can get better self-confidence? and now a lil bit more about my mom.... she treats me like shit when we're not around ppl... and then when we're in front of ppl i'm like an angel to her... she so confusing cause one min she hates me and wants me dead and the next she loves me and is bragging about me.. i'm almost 18 and she treats me like a 2 yr old. any suggestions on what i can say or do to get it over to my mom that i won't take her shit any more? |
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