Boys : Relationship Problems.., in response to S-Majere's topic Options

[*Uronacid*]

Now, I understand what it means to be a guy. Some things are just far to complicated for women to understand. Their simple minds can't handle the pressure of mere life, whet makes you think that they could possible understand you. Well, if we all pray for her to read this, read it to her, or print it out and feed it to her with a teaspoon we can all make the world a better place:

• This world needs people who are going to bring home the bacon, and you need a wife to cook it. If she doesn't have dinner cooked by the time you're home then get rid of her. Honestly, what could possibly be more important than delicious home cooking.
  
• If she flips out for you looking at another woman then get rid of her. It's in a man's blood to look an women. We can't help it. When hot ass is right in our face or within thirty feet, we just have to look. If the kitchens to fucking hot for you, then get the fuck out.
  
• If you catch her looking at another guy then you need to give her the "back-hand". Raise the hand you right with so it's parallel with the opposite side of your face and violently hit your woman in the face with the back of your hand. Try it gentlemen, you'll see.
  You see, guys have practice looking at women. We were designed to look and not touch. Women, on the other hand, were not. They can't keep their grubby little fingers off another man after they have tasted his eye candy. If you want to know what I'm talking about, just look at all the "Axe" commercials.
  
• If she says, "You're not getting any tonight.", then show her up by "getting some" from another female. While your "getting some", look at her and say, "Getting any? Did you mean getting any of this?"
  
• If she's getting to over weight, then she's obviously far to lazy. Next time your watching "the game" make her do a little extra work by having her hold your glass and pour your drink into your mouth. After all, it's not you who needs work out. In the mean time, make her give you a bath.
  
• If she starts acting all "bitchy" and shit. By a whip and tame that bitch. Every time she speaks crack the whip, and if she doesn't listen give her a swirly.
  
• If she start accusing you of not loving her, tell her it's because she hasn't given you enough "head" or "sex" lately. Then cock smack her for the number of days that she hasn't put out. Make sure you tell her that you love her with each smack.

If you would like to debate my proven methods, then please post.