what is up with guys?! Options

[Winter]

Okay like my ex and I broke up 3 months ago and we haven't really talked much after the break up coz of that awkward phrase. And now he's started talking to me, like 24/7. And it's just like the old times again, where we flirt and laugh and talk about the future.

He knows I get depressed a lot about school and the pressure, and he's always there for me. He even made a special studying timetable for me. He's even helped me to break up with this guy I'm, dating (er, was dating anyway...).

And after another of my depression outburst again today, we got talking about us. To be honest, I never stopped loving him. And I just started crying and screaming at him. I told him that I still loved him but at the same time, I hated that feeling. And how it's making me hate him. And he just supported me.

He admitted that when I got together with the other guy, he was jealous. But another part of him was happy that I had someone. And he says he doesn't know if he loves me or not.

And it's long distance. With my national exam and his boot camp, we'll only be able to see each other at the end of the year or early next year. He says there's nothing we can do but to wait. And when we finally see each other, things will get sorted out.

He's so nice to me. You know, he's actually getting a cell for me coz he knows I can't afford one just yet. I know he wants me to be happy, that's partly why he offered. And another part, I think it's coz he wants me to call him. My parents never let me make international calls. But if I had my own cell, I could get an international package.

I'm scared. I honestly am. This is indeed, a fairytale, just like he always said. I'm scared this fairytale isn't going to get a happy ending.