Dear cB Diary,, Createblog Diary no. 10 Options

[Joss-eh-lime]

dear cb diary
i knowwww i shouldn't be jealous of her. i mean, who would want to be in her shoes? but, for some reason i am jealous. and i feel like i have no control over my own life.

[Jinny]

Dear cB Diary,

What is happening to her? Why is she so.. bossy? She constantly tries to control me.. And why is she being such a b*tch nowadays? It's not just on the phone or online.. she's just so b*tchy and gets irritated/annoyed so easily.. and she takes the anger out on me. Agghhhh I hope she changes before school starts, I can't deal with her during the school year..

[chibichi15]

dea cB diary,

I am feeling really drained and it stinks. I need a hug.

[blacknailpolish]

Dear cB Diary,

I'm so scared. I've never been this worried about school, but this year's going to really count, and last year my grades were...less than satisfactory. And then there are all the things in school I'm looking forward to, but at the same time, not. Like the musical. That's going to take up a lot of my time. I don't know how I'm going to handle that on top of all the work I know I'm going to have. And then of course I have to go on a diet. That's just a fact, there's no escaping it. I have so much to worry about right now, its just overwhelming me....


...which of course is all the more reason for me to not want to think about how petty and small I'm being about him. When will I learn that I only love him as a brother?? I dunno, I really thought I'd found my soulmate, but he seems so sure that I'm not his. That's fine for him I'm sure, but what am I supposed to do now? For that reason (and that reason only!) school can't come fast enough. I need to be with my other friends, and talk to other guys. I need to finally, ultimately get over him. I'm really close. I think most of it is, though, is that I'm just lonely...I mean, I haven't had a chance to see anyone outside of IFTA all that much. Don't get me wrong, IFTA was amazing and all. I just don't get to see those people now for 10 more months... I dunno, I'm just confused and scared and overwhelmed by everything.

Hopefully things will look better after some music and sleep, which i guess I need to get more of tonight so I can wake up at 7:30 and babysit from 8 till 4 tomorrow.......

[Joss-eh-lime]

dea cB diary,

I am feeling really drained and it stinks. I need a hug.

same here

[*stephinika*]

Dear cB diary,

Firstly, I'm glad thats all sorted out. Second, dinner tonight turned out to be hilarious and so much fun. Thirdly, I can't effing wait for California.

[minioligo]

Dear cB Diary,
I wonder if it's lack of confidence. Or should I really give up?

[TimeZonesAway]

dear cb diary,
cuts are tomorrow. or well..sense its 215 am i guess that would mean..today

im nervous. will i make it? i for some reason dont think i will.
i dont think she gets to see my strengths. or maybe just..strength.
im nervous like all the time now.
and i dont know how to react to things
all these weird and random things keep happening and all i do is just try to go along with it without trying to understand it
maybe that's how it is suppose to be.
whatever im tired.
im gonna watch some tv

<3

[Crash2]

Dear cB Diary,

It's like there's no time left!! I guess it doesn't help that I've pretty much wasted the past two days.

It doesn't help that I'm awake right now either.

Justin

[blacknailpolish]

Dear cB Diary,

I can't shake the feeling that this school year is gonna swallow me whole...and no one around here seems to believe me. I'm losing sleep, losing my appetite, and I'm jittery all day. And I still have about a week left of summer. I guess it's just all the expectations that are already being placed on me, or that I've placed on myself rather. I have to start working out a lot more in prep for crew, I have the play, plus all those AP classes....last year I didn't make too many A's, and even a couple C's....this year I'm going to get straight A's, even if it kills me.

I just read over that and I can't really believe I said that. I never used to be like that. I used to be ok with the occasional B. This year....I dunno. It has to be different, I think.

[iDecay]

Dear cB Diary,



OMG WHYYY.

[Jinny]

Dear cB Diary,

I can't believe school's going to start soon already. September 5th seems so close I really don't want Delalla this year, I heard she's really hard.. and I should start studying for history I still have to get ready for school and finish that packet.. Oh well.

[iDecay]

Dear cB Diary,

Who do all of my summers end horribly? I don't want to deal with constant fighting between everybody in the house and having a grandma who goes to the hospital at least once or twice a month. I hate being yelled at for no complete reason or for something I did 5 years ago. I'm so f**king tired of this.

[dreamii]

Wow I realized that I love these diary threads because I can go back and read what I've written earlier. To see the changes and stuff =p

But yeah, 10 days til senior year starts! Man, it's my last year of high school, sometimes I can't even believe that I'm almost 18 now...like, not too long ago, I was only 14? Time surely passes by quickly.

Anyways, today I did some reminiscing regarding r. I don't know, i was on sw and they had the beta thread and it just brought back some memories. I wish I can go back and have fun like that again. I realize that I'm too old for that game now because I don't think I would like it anyway, I think I'm too old for those kids and just 'having fun' innocently as KIDS. So yeah, it's been almost 3 years since I started it. My freakin god, it's so crazy once I think back. So yeah, I miss it. A lot.

So, I hope that once I go back to school, I can let the wall down and just be friendly to everyone without thinking too much. I'm trying to change my perspective of things so I can just break free. And stop getting intimidated and stuff.

Lastly, w has been on my mind lately since we chatted that day (facebook). It feels like I always have something for him, I can't let go. haha I don't know what it is about this boy.

[weed]

Dear cB Diary,

My belly button hurts a little. I hope its not infected

Oh and diary,


I CANT BELIEVE HE DIES!!! WTF! SM3 SUCKED!!!

[minioligo]

Dear cB diary,
I am not happy.

[*superstitious*]

Dear cB Diary,

I'm getting used to the idea of that person not being around anymore. It'll take some time once he has to leave, but at this point I'm used to people not sticking around for long. It'll give us some perspective on reality.

[*stephinika*]

Dear cB diary,

Firstly, I really should be asleep as I need to wake up in less than 6 hours now for school...how depressing. Its really quite sad that I haven't even gone to my first class yet and I am so displeased about school. Its just...stressful and upsetting to think about right now. My mind is not ready for school at all...I really am not. Gah. Summer passed by way too quickly for my liking...
I'm going to miss it so much.

[shalalasusan]

Dear cB diary,

I hate school.

A lot.

Love,
Me :)

[iDecay]

Dear cB Diary.

So here comes an extremely long entry about my first day of high school. So, I woke up early because I wanted to get there early to meet up with some friends. Turned out there was so much traffic I got there just in time to get my schedule and get to first period. I hate walking into class when everybody's already there. I was quite bummed when I didn't see anyone I knew. But then I took my seat near Jeffrey and found Bryant. ( ) Maybe it's just me, but he got cuter. The class went by quickly and I tried finding my second class. Yay for it being extremely close! I went to the wrong room though. Why would they have a B 14 and a TB 14 RIGHT ACROSS FROM EACH OTHER?! Class was alright, had a couple of friends. It was quite.. interesting. "Tina, look behind you. You too, Courtney. Is that a girl or a guy putting on eyeliner? I'm scared.." Awesomeness right there. I was waaay freaked out.. Not that I have a problem with gay guys.. I just wasn't used to it.
Third period was hard to find. I walked with Philip and found Steven. He's so adorable! (In a cute short little kid kind of way..) Again, everyone was in there. Thank god 50% of the class were people I knew. Teacher was a bitch, Thomas did a great job of making fun of her. We got the easiest homework ever but I don't want to do it. :[
I looked like an idiot getting to Bio. I went back and forth trying to find my class. OUT OF ALL PEOPLE ANDREA SHOWED ME AND WAS IN MY CLASS. I decided to get a seat near Bryant (hehehe) and some other girl I know. He name suddenly slipped my mind. I thought I would have totally gotten to be at the same group with Bryant but our teacher decided to put us in ABC order. (WHY COULDN'T I GO BY LIU SO I COULD BE NEAR HIM!?!?!) I ended up with.. Andrea. Class was alright, except for Andrea's talking. She followed me all through lunch.
5th period was interesting. Gordan poked the hell out of me when I walked into the room and didn't notice him. It hurt. Yay for sitting near Alexis, Shirley, and Michelle S. :D Teacher did a good job of making me understand a bit of Mandarin, but I had NO idea what the hell she was talking about when she started the actual teaching. Blaaah.
Words can not describe how much I hated 6th period. I walk to tennis and who starts dogging me? SHERRI! NO SURPRISE THERE! I have no idea what I ever did to her. Or maybe she's just naturally a bitch.. Hmm. I sat there for the whole time and talked to Steven and Gordan. They were fun, kinda.. Coach was busy with varsity so I didn't get my outfit. Now I have no idea what to do for our match against Glendale.. Wear jeans to play? o_O He didn't even give us details so I'm mad. D:
Afterschool was quite boring. Julie, Linda and I walked to Vanessa's and got some refreshments. We stayed and watch a bit of television. Julie and I had to rush back to pretend to get our P.E. stuff. I was expecting to get my dress and skirt, but they didn't have it. I'm basically screwed for tomorrow. =[ I went home and now I'm ranting on the computer! :D

[*IVIike*]

Dear CBD,

WTF should i do?? I am really confused right now

[minioligo]

Dear cB Diary,
I am...in need of a break. And some new beginnings. Yeah, that'd be nice.

[flutterby88]

i knew when i left his house this afternoon, i wasn't feeling depressed for no reason. i had a feeling leaving the safety and comfort of his arms and getting back to the real world would be painful. and it was. i wish i was still lying beside him. funny how a year ago i thought my family was almost ideal. three amazing kids brought into this world and two successful parents who've made it through thick and thin, and were still amazingly in love. but i guess we still hadn't managed to escape the shit we went through in the early years. so i've f**ked up his life even more huh? well i'm sorry his marriage is failing. but he's got his own issues to deal with. i don't mean to show lack of appreciation, i know he's gone to the moon and back for me, to raise me to the best of his ability. but he scares me when he yells, so i can't show him the same affection i show her. and obviously if he makes me cry i won't go to him for a shoulder to lean on. i can't believe he stranded her there either, she was just trying to suggest something. and if his life is so miserable, anything is going to add to it. this has nothing to do with us, it's his own self esteem. it's just, they both have never been pushed so close to the edge. if i were them i would've jumped off a cliff already. and my wanting to break free and grow up is going to push them even further. there's just no escaping this. my heart's actually broken. i don't know if i can handle any more fighting matches.

[angelrevelation]

Dear Cb Diary,

School is off to a pretty good start. It's really relaxed, since my college classes don't start for another three weeks or so and I only have 4 classes to go to Once chemistry starts I'll be really tired on Mondays and Wednesdays though. Class/lab goes till 5:30!

In regards to boys, I'm trying not to worry about them. It's way too early! School's only three days in so far! But after Anna mentioned E, I can't get the possibility out of my head. I mean, I used to really dislike him near the end of last year. And it would be completely random if he just started liking me... out of nowhere. Geeze.

[*stephinika*]

Dear cb diary,

I love how I'm here instead of doing my pile of homework. Ah well. School is back...sadly. Summer went by waaay too quickly. School is kinda...meh. The classes are actually getting interesting and stuff, but theres so much to do, and read, and know...my brain is severely overloaded, and then there's work, and all this other stuff in my life...there really seems to be not enough time in the day.