Dear cB Diary,, Createblog Diary no. 10 Options

[*stephinika*]

Dear cB diary,

Cause that wasn't irritating whatsoever.

[flutterby88]

man, i hadn't seen S & K in so long!! i got SOOOOO excited to see them there last night:D:D. i wasn't sure if they'd come. very good to see G and R too, we must have a party soon. driving and dinner was also lots of fun. i gotta get crackin on that book though, it's really good but i barely have time to read it. and i have no clue where THAT one went, and i still gotta finish that other one. oh and those two... i should stop putting these books down and just finish them:P. they're making a movie out of that too!! dunno if it'll be good, i've never actually seen the whole musical, but i gotta show my support:). speaking of which, gotta remember to call D. so lazy at work today:). improv tonight! and B will be there:D:D:D:D:D:D:D man, summer hasn't had a dull moment yet

[jessicaxbabee]

dear cB diary,
okay. so i really dont know whats up right now. maybe im just pmsing or something but everythings getting to me. k is annoying the hell out of me. all the sudden shes having too much fun with her tahoe buddies to even talk to me. ugh.
and then the whole thing with c & j. well i thought i was pretty much over it. but there they go again rubbing it in my face.
b pretty much hates me too. i thought we were okay, but he was talking to phillip and hes calling me a bitch. whats with the guys talking crap.?
basically, i miss my old friends.
i hate this.
venting..blah.

[Jinny]

Dear cB Diary,

Aiish. He just ruined EVERYTHING before the last day of school. Dammit, I wanted to get _____'s email address or phone number, but all of a sudden, during dt, he says that and I'm just like.. pissed. UGH. He's so annoying! &so is _______. Ugh. Whatever, I'll just ask them to sign my yearbook tomorrow and that's all

OMG SCHOOL ENDS TOMORROW AT 12:42 P.M! I'M SO EXCITED & HAPPY FOR MY YEARBOOK. Haha

[iGio]

Dear cb,

So sleepy.So hungry.Havent slept yet.Its 5:38 atm.feeling a headache coming on.I want a big plate of food.I only had chicken and salad yesturday in the afternoon.Im bored out of my mind.Nothing to do.If i fall asleep i will end up waking up at 5 pm.I dont want that,I wanna hang out.Alot of drama happened the other day effin sick bastards.Im craving right now some bacon egg sammich.Its so hot and its only morning.Or it must be me.I wanna play my gc but its in my brothers room.Falling into depression.Wanna go back to school.It's been a week since i've been out of school and its been nothing but drama and boring.Angel still trying to get with penny worth hoes.Everyone is saying I lost mad weight.I dont see it,But i feel it a little.I want something to munch on.Im sick of junk food and ice cream.But i can never get over my sweet latte MMMM<3.OH i wanna go to my dads job.Across the street from it they have this resturant that makes ]the best poncakes ever.Along with bagels and everything else they make.But i also want my dad to make me rice and steak with habichuelas and tostones.I think im going to go buy me a coffee when my mom wakes up.My grammar is hell right now.My naps latly have been occuring more frequently than ever.I mean i only take naps when im super tired.I guess from all the stress,i've gotten sleepy.I dont mind the nap because when im sleeping under that poster,i feel great.My mom can tells whats wrong with me.Though its paining me how she is looking at me.Like she is dying for me to come out and confess all my problems.I dont wanna.Im regaining the full stregnth of my singing voice thankfully.I missed it :D.

I saw ms.reyes.She looks pregnant.Lemme find out our wild teacher gettin her freak on friday nights lmao.I had a dream i fought ___ and f-cked there face up bad.___ and got there brother to fight me after i beat __ up.Haha it was fun it felt so good.It's been rainy latly.It makes me want hot tea with a nice hot bath and a long day of resting under my blanket with movies,in the dark with the ac on.I think i'll do that later.Who knows.I wanna my cousins brandon and marc and tito and amalia.I wonder how that chick is doing.I hope she didnt get pregnant.Though i cant stand their mom,I wanna see my uncle too.I missed when i used to hang out with them.But sleeping over was hell.Because brenda could not cook eggs correct to save her life.It was ew.We're moving by january into febuary.I'm happy.But if she moving with her bf im staying in ny and getting my apt like i planned.I'll also start my acting career after i get good reccomendations from my teachers.Which means i'll have to participate in alot of extra curricular activities in school.Bummer.Especially since i might be going to catholic or private school since i really dont wanna go back to lehman.Though ___ has caught my eye latly.I would mind walking with ___ to school.NO NO NO we can't have that crush come back now can we.I wonder how my baby cousin is doing.Maybe i'll give that bitch a call later :P.She needs to come over for some major tanning and fun at jones beach.Uh i think i hear my mom up.If so YAY and i want food right away!.mmmmm belgian waffles sound good too.I wanna go to ihop.Dammnit im on the only hunger crave atm.Must get food D:<.
-Leon

[Jinny]

Dear cB Diary,

I guess I just wasn't supposed to. Maybe I thought wrong. Or I just didn't have the courage. Was he waiting for it? And since I didn't do it, does he think that I don't like him anymore? Well, I had no courage to ask him and we never had time. +eversince Sunday, we never talked to each because of the thing that happened on Friday.. Ah. Well I'm over him so it doesn't matter, I guess. And I'm so excited for summer! I'm off to the pool

[secretwish]

Dear cB Diary,

god. i want my brother to die so badly. its not the "omg, he took the remote from me" kind of hate towards my brother. its the "holy shyt i wish he would go stab himself in his own dark cold heart."
i love my parents. i love god. i love my friends. i love life. i just wish my brother would disappear off the face of the earth. he's making my parents so miserable.

and he's always talking back. always. and hes never right. we always do everything right for him. get him food, clothes, games. he doesnt appreciate it. he screws it all up. he has major mood swings.

one minute your kidding around with him, and the next he's banging the doors shut, stomping around the room, ripping up sheets of paper for no reason. blaming everything on us, saying we don't love him. i dont know why my parents havent shipped him off to some mental facility. my parents dont give up. we put up with him everyday.

crap, i just want him to die in hell.
hes the one i hate most right now.
and the funny thing is, everyone thinks hes an angel, a sweet little 10 year old kid.

barf.

[iGio]

Dear cb,

^That sounds just like me how your bro acts.

Another sleepless night.I wonder what time I will fall asleep today and what time I will wake up.Gotta wash clothes soon X___X.Got alot left to wear but none in my taste,gotta throw them out.I just saw ___'s pic i was like so shocked.It makes you wonder how the hell you give birth to a child like that.O: I dont wanna be rude but I think I am scarred for life.I'm not prize or #1 fine thing out there.But I sure as hell don't look like that.My mom finally popped the question about ___.I was pissed because she didn't have a problem with ___ for the past what 3 weeks ago?And now she wants to finally ask about ___.But damn before thay she's like agreeing to that im so quiet and stuff.I'm not quiet I got a mouth on me.The pure dominican mouth,I can talk talk talk.I'm very loud,I'm just quiet around her because I know she will bring up what happened in 7th grade.She will never let it go.Like let it go,it happens.

But anyway.I didnt get to see my dad.Which pissed me off because she didn't tell him I wanted a new camera.Then she saw how moody I was she like "whats wrong,you need to go out".Wtf If i ask to go to brooklyn its "no its too dangerous".And me and kristina dont like to stay here in this borough we like to leave.It's not fair.Then on top of that.My brother one minute is being nice the next he b-tches for no reason.I want school to come back already.My summer has been nothing but drama,and boringness.I haven't had a latte in a few days.I miss it.Im sick of icecream and every other junk.And I know im spoiled so what.My dad has been getting short with giving me money.Latly its been 10 dollars for me and 10 for my brother.I usually get way much more than that.Wth I bet he gives my damn step brother more than us.UGH.so help him i dont show up at his door today.

We also may be going shopping today :D.I doubt it though >.> . . .I also only have like a hand-full of belly fat to lose.Or two hand full.I'm gonna go crazy.I need a latte or something.UGHH.I can't even decide what to get off my mind.OH YEAH! God is gracious god is salvation god is increasing the earth.That's what me and __'s name mean put together.I love lexy <3

-Leon

[DarkInsanityxx]

Dear cB Diary,

Well since i havent written in cB diary I thought it was time to talk and say how i was feeling. Well here goes. "I AM F**KING FEELING MAD" im fustrated and irritated. Like damn seriously when you wish time would go back it gets even worst. Like dont get me wrong i love spending time with **************** but now its just gotten phew xD. Then its very awkard between us. Like I wish "it" was the same as it was before but "It" isn't the same. And im guessing "it" changed a whole big deal throughout school because "Thing" came into the picture. But w.e i dont mind it no more "it" b!tched at me to many times this year in highschool. in my classes and other such and i guess since "it" thought i didnt listen "it" went to "Thing" and seriously "Thing" says it has a lot of drama in life with "Thing"'s parents and family but "thing" dont know what suffering really is. Then "it" "it" is just blah theres nothing to say about "it" cause "it" is just funny "it" makes me laugh at everything "it" does and say. So w.e now i feel better because "it" and "thing" i thought would be my bestfriend from highschool but now i realize they're both B**ches and "Thing" should learn to shut the f**k up sometimes cause words dont hurt they are just words "thing" is just retarded. xDD there now i feel a whole lot better. [[and it may be confusing but heh]]

[flutterby88]

out of all my crazy weekends this summer, this one was by far the best:). my poor baby got his wisdom teeth taken out on friday so i went to his dad's house to keep him company after work. we watched sin city, ate a lot of pudding, and watched some more telly. i kissed him better as much as i could. it was so cute seeing him all helpless and having to read what he wanted to say on his notebook. especially the "you look really good" comments. kissing him that night was like kissing him for the first time, and it especially reminded me of that night we were together for the first time that night at K's. *muah* i love him so much. Saturday was the best day:D. bought my tap shoes finally and they're SO pretty. can't wait to have happy feet. got ballet tights for next year too. then i went to encore to register for dance next year. luckily R was there to register me which was perfect cuz i wanted to ask her how high i had been bumped up. but i didn't even need to ask her! she handed me a form with all the classes that i'd been offered, and they're all senior advanced classes:D:D!!! i even have to sign a waiver saying i'll be comitted and everything. she said if i wanna do a solo/duo i can look into it too. GOSH:D! she put me in intermediate tap, cuz she said it should be fine if i learn it this summer. but wow, even in ballet i'm a senior. jazz/lyrical will be so good, and STAGE!!! i wasn't even in it this year, even though i thought about doing it for next year. i think that one will suit me the best, cuz it's the most theatrical. but wow. hip hop is the only one i think i won't take. if i do, i'll have a two hour break on mondays, and i'd rather take it at harbour as drop in, cuz it's a style i still want to be able to do, but it's not essential. five classes is gonna be expensive already. but the best part of all is that it works out perfectly with my sfu theatre schedule:D:D:D, so next year is gonna be performance intense:D. omg i'm so excited. although very very scared at the same time. i've obviously shown enough skill to get me this far, but teachers tend to have a little too much faith in me, and i don't wanna let them down. but i'll work hard:D. and i get fridays off again, and mondays/wednesdays i'm only up at school for two hours. tuesdays are gonna be long but i'm used to having at least one day like that. things are looking so good:D. i register next monday. tonight i gotta register for harbour. all signed up for YD, just gotta pay so i can book the road lessons. but she said they're booked for me, paying's just the confirmation:P. so anyway, it was a WONDERFUL morning. then i spent ALL day with my love:). we took a huge nap, we both just passed out. lol and we woke up so hot and sweating a little under the covers, and he said it's cuz that's the first time we slept under them with all our clothes on:P. we watched open water which was so scary, if i see another live shark i might freak out. we had some pizza hut and macdonald's fries. and then we went to dinner with his family! J was there:) but not S:(. mmmm A's cooking never fails. that quail was SO good. they were all making fun of poor M cuz he had to eat his food after it had been put in the blender and he had to wear his ice pack/bandana. he looked like a stork:P. man they all crack me up. A looked like a mad scientist when she was getting her hair done and M couldn't stop laughing at my stork:P. oh it was a good night. then D picked us up and i told him he had to drive cuz i had a drink at dinner, then F came over for scrabble:). we had barely even started before D said he was bored so he took us out for gelatto!!! and we bumped into the C family there!! so it was a most wonderful night:)! F kept trying to convince me to take tap on thursdays so i could come film instead, but finally he said he just didn't wanna go alone on thursdays:P so i'll go both days:). best night:). sunday went to brunch with C:), she had some funny stories about wedded life. we thought we were gonna get kicked out of white spot from laughing so hard. then there was that little incident at the bay, oh man, the zellers training is still in me:P. then finally finally finally i got to go see my love again! i saw him all weekend:D. we took another nap, watched troy, had more pizza hut, played connect 4, and had a rainforest adventure to the stop sign and back. he also told me all the ideas he had for our year + 6 months dinner. he planned it all out:). a year and a half! so exciting:).

[ashleybby]

dear cb,
well things have been..up and down. chris keeps waking me up extra early and so i only get like 3 hours of sleep now. i hate him. my mom comes home today :D. mah boys phone got turned off...now i never talk to him. i try and call him, but he never answers the house phone, and when he does we only talk for 10-20 minutes because then he has to go "do something". maybe its good i cant ever talk to him, because it makes me think of him less. but i still want to be with him, so of course i still want to think about him. i think he is going to get depressed because the girl he went out with has a new crush and completely took him off her page, and she is all over his page. so when he sees that maybe i will become his number one again. he says he does miss me, but i am not sure about that, because he doesnt act like it at all. he also gets mad at me because of the "way i talk to guys" he says i talk to them like i am going to hook up with them, which is not true because i dont want to hook up with anyone but him. and so he is confusing me by getting mad because he is the one who told me to move on right??
i just think he should move back here and then everything will be better. he said he might move back down here...
oh i can only hope...
-ashley

[xhidethedetails]

Dear Cb:

+ I kinda like my new haircut. Its getting pretty annoying though.
+ I cant wait to go to the doctors next week to get put on medication. At least they better put me on medication or I'll be really upset.
+ I dont think my aunt likes me. I know I was pretty shallow to her daughters but come on? She gets on my case all the time. Then they go and yank my hair out. I'm not a toy. Theres just a lot of things going on right now and I just wish I could tell her that and make her understand.
+ I really dont wanna be ______ friend anymore. I mean shes cool and all but right now shes replaceing me with ______. She told me we could hang out this week but no. Shes hanging out with her this whole entire week. And her damn exscuse was oh I have to pack for the beach. Yay you. I hope she has fun with her new best friend because I'm done with her.
+ I dont know what to do about _____. I mean I like him and all, hes a really great guy but he says he likes me then goes and hooks up with another girl. This happend twice already. And what am I supposed to think? He knows I like him. Why doesnt he just make a fricken move?

[minioligo]

i've worn myself down so much. everyone's gone, as well.

what's wrong with me?

[flutterby88]

oh man am i ever sore. but luckily work is slow this morning (unlike yesterday) so i can sit and tell you about my yesterday. longest day of work but M's emails got me through:). my spanish buddy!! now i have someone to practice with and i have an e-pen pal. makes work fun for both of us, email partying all day:). i'll send him one in a bit if there's still no work to do. so last night i went to the R's house for film meeting. i was just trying it out, didn't think i'd fit in with that group at all. was i ever wrong!! the script is pretty good, mature themes but it'll make it intense for everyone. it was really neat that we split into groups, i didn't think we'd be filming at all that day. first i read the script next to F while he flipped pages for me every time i asked nicely and he commented on my freakisly fast reading:P. hey speak of the devil! M just emailed, damn he beat me:P. i'll respond in a sec. oh and it's goodie day!! mmmm donuts... brb... ok, where was i? read, ate my wendy's, talked with the group about the script. right! then we split into groups, writers actors and production crew. the latter two went into the poco trails for a fight scene workshop and omg it was so much fun!!! i was partnered up with G and we came up with a story and incentive for me to beat him up, then we ran... and ran... take after take. man i was tired:P. but it was so intense i loved it. we did the perfect tackle too:). in the end he tripped and i jumped on top of him strangling him, it was such a good shot, i love working with him too cuz he's not afraid at how into i get too. but then stupid M had to suggest the "funny, unexpected" ending. he said he'd do it if G didn't so we were like ok, whatever. took a few shots of us giggling, but then we managed. M wasn't too happy that night:(. but i had to tell him, i always tell him these things. he was especially mad about me changing while F was driving me, but after talking it over we could laugh about it:). i hate making him so upset though, but i can't help how easily he feels jealous about me. obviously i won't do it if i can help it, but oh well, it was just for the film. then we waited for the other group to finish and F was like did you had fun and i was like :D:D. we went to dewey's after for a drink and to debrief. i'd had so much fun:) and they were so impressed with my performance, they said they'd work around my schedule. i really wanna be a part of the film:):). after a bit i had to head home though. it was such a good night. ttyl!

[iGio]

Dear cb,

Omg how could you...I didn't want to lose you and you said it would be forever.You took my defense and destroyed it so easily,where did you get the strength to do that to me.You promised but you lied.You asked me to not cry but im crying like i f-cking did back last summer when i felt like i was gonna die.Just like that,and its been a long time since i cried like that.And now this,not even looking or listening to my monkey stopped the tears.You did damage and yet i turn around you flirting with ___.Your enjoying this.Then one minute your like we're friends for now.. the next your saying you cant pretend which is it.Im sorry I came clean and told you to the truth i couldnt hurt you like that.And you said it just confused you and didnt hurt you but it looks like your using my agony as your weapon.Why,why why.Why did you have to do it.You keep bugging me because you wanna be friends,when this is the first relationship that ended for me that i cant be friends with my ex because I need you that much.Your f-ckign telling me i'll find someone else and better.To not give up on hope or love.You were my hope and your love was inside of my heart.How stupid can I get.Why why why!here I am thinking I got something good but then this happens.Why I need you and I cant stop the tears,its like a giant water fall.Im cold,im shaking and crying.Havent slept,and havent eaten.Your only making that worse.

My life is hell.They sold out the camera I wanted.And here I am thinking my life finally turned on a new leaf.It's been the same and always will be.I would of been better of letting ___ kill me that day.Then I wouldn't be here,and I wouldn't feel like sh-t.I hate you I hate you I hate you.You added way more to my life.first I have creeps on here like are f-cking twisted in the head playing this sick twisted game on me,then I got me losing lexy even more.Then now this.You..why m why!?You promised...you said you never would.Your just like my father,always breaking promises!.Thanks for being another person of adding to I ruined His life list.But I guarantee you,___ will never f-cking treat you like I did.I'll bet that much boo.Im done with love,DONE.Might as well make me a preach or something.UGH I hate that I love you...

-Leon

[Jinny]

Dear cB Diary,

Summer's okay I guess. It's kinda hard, waking up at 5:30 in the morning everyday just to walk/run 1 and a half miles. I should start sleeping earlier, too. I can't believe I actually got an A in math, especially when I averaged my grade up and it was like an 81 But I'm just so happy! &as for the NJ ASK, I'm happy I passed. I thought I was gonna fail. AHH I'm just really tired from S.A and T.M and my head hurts. I really miss _____.. and I don't miss ______ I think I really hate her now, she's just really fake and nice on the outside, but inside she's just.. really b*tchy. She pretends to be smart in grammar and everything by correcting the teachers at school (and her friends) and it's SO ANNOYING. She acts nice and loves getting compliments, brags too much, and is SUCH A FLIRT. Inside, all she wants is to be surrounded by boys and she backstabs EVERYONE. Ugh.
Ah anyways, summer's going great so far (except for the 'studying' and running). <333333

[*stephinika*]

Dear cB diary,

I'm sooo excited for the next 2 days but damn my body, damn you! I hate being a girl sometimes. And getting big ugly zits before going out, haha. But yeah...minus those things, I'm doing pretty good and am excitedddddd as hell for tomorrow.
Work has definitely improved...with Carmen gone and Dayna being nicer and leaving anyways, Raq is being promoted...woo! Hopefully our new manager is good though. But yeah work's not bad.
I'm still very irritated at the weather though...it really makes it NOT feel like summer. And I'm also bitter about having strict parents and not being 19...meaning my weekend coming up is only half as fun as it could be. Sigh.

[flutterby88]

me again, hello! so uh, things just keep getting better and better:). i honestly don't know what to say. except EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEE
i just had to let that out:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[iGio]

Dear cb,

It's like a curse. ___ is like a curse.After we broke up a lot of thing's went wrong,especially today.Ok first of all my mother got on the worst side she is so lucky my dad held me back.He pissed me off a bit too.Ok if shes threatening to punch me in the face and sh-t im not gonna hold my tung and tap my leg like a little b-tch.Ok I was raised to say whats on my mind if she don't like it next time think before having sex and children sh-t.I didn't asked to be born.It's a long story. David [cuco] was here right and he came over to use the laptop real fast but ended up staying for a bit.So as usual she's on the phone in my room talking to her bf.Ok she can do wtf she wants.But if the internet disconnects for a few minutes she should know it's gonna affect the phone.So david asked me if I wanted MY bike.I said no you can have it so I said here take it home now.So my mom stops him and told him to put it back because she was gonna get it fixed.So I said for what?!I don't ride it anymore,give it away.And she said no my brother can still use it.Don't be f-cking cheap because I know my brother better than anyone and he will NOT be riding that bike.He barely goes anywhere so he wouldn't.It's just taking up space in MY room.

So then david felt bad,I felt it.Like sh-t don't do that to my company I don't do it to her drunk friends when they be coming in and out the house yelling and sh-t.So then it started from there.The phone disconnected 5 mins after the internet did and I was like ahem I have to fix it.She ignored it and got cut off talking to him and got mad at me and blamed me for using the laptop so much.She think that is the cause.No it's because cablevision have lazy ass workers who don't come out to fix sh-t they need to fix.So then we argued and it escalated.Started with the threats.Ok threaten me all you want I'm not scared,never have been.So my dad came just in time because I was dying to tell him how much of a b-tch she was being.So her lying got to him and he took her side when I was yelling back at her and he said for me to calm down because I'm not grown.Ok so what I'm apose to wait till I'm 18 to curse her out?!No I think I will shoot her by then or just hit her.And I just had my premonition come true.Like then he closed my door to talk to me.I started to cry because I was so pissed off.My brother knows how she is and he don't say sh-t to her.And I told my father how she be threatening me and how she didn't pay for my computer and used the money for her stupid son's cred card bill.OK no that was MY birthday money.NOT his.If he needed his sh-t paid get a f-cking job already sh-t.

So then he's like don't cry.I was like you know how she is and how much of a b-tch she can be,this is an everyday thing.He's like I know,why do you think I do not live with her,because of her mouth.If that was the case,WHY THE HELL TELL ME TO CALM DOWN,what is he afraid she gonna hit me and I'm gonna end up hitting her back?!NO hun I don't stay hit from no one.That's how I was raised,don't like it then you should of raised me differently.So he's like if she does end up hitting me to call him right away.No I'm gonna hit her and when she's hurt then I will call you in anger saying how I'm going to shoot the damn place up and go completly more insane than i already am.Like wth.Don't take her side she's a damn liar.Saying we don't help around the house and how she has to annoy us to do it.THEN DON'T BE A MOTHER THAT'S YOUR JOB NOT MINE,MY JOB IS TO GO TO SCHOOL AND GET MY EDUCATION AND MOVE THE HELL OUT.She said it her self many times.Then do not contradict your self later in the game because I'll put your own words to shame.And I told her I'm going to record everything she says from now on.She said do it i was like i will.

She thinks its a joke.That I am afraid of her.If i was would i talk back?Would i give her that much lip.You have not seen a true bitch until you have lived with me and witnessed how i act towards her and the rest of my family and people in the street.Then for the past few nights i have been complaining that im starving.OK GET YOUR ASS UP AND GO SHOPPING AND MAKE ME FOOD OR GIVE ME MONEY TO GET SOME.I'm getting more skinny each day.she said i wanna be up all night that i need to go to bed.Ok im not gonna force my self to sleep.and she said if im up so early get up and clean,no so i can hear you wake up and you b-tch at me more for making noise?No I don't think so.Sh-t I was so pissed and I asked my brother what my dad told him.and in my brothers words my dad said stop bitching and just ignore her.OK if someone is in your face saying oh they gonna slap you,IM not gonna hold my tung ima talk back.You gonna hit me,do it i wanna see you try.I dared her.I do not care at all.And I told him its not my fault I was brought up that way and i teach my self.Im not a push over so dont even try it.

But I also had fun today though my feet were killing me and i couldn't talk to david because of amy.OK hes gonna do what he does to me regardless of how you feel,stay out our buisness did she ever come to think I like it?So what if hes flirting with me,who doesn't?Not my fault i am gorgeous.Jesus christ.We ain't gay if we were we would have already f-cked by the way the flirting has gone.We ain't curious we like to play around like that,leave us alone sh-t.Anyway the other david called my brother ugly.Ok my brother came out of my fathers nuts just like me.He ain't ugly if im cute.Nor should be talking sh-t because he has no hair line,fake ass wanna be antonio banderas with the only f-cked up eye that you cant tell if its looking at you or the thing next to you.Calling my brother ugly shoo i will crack jokes on that boy like no tomorrow.Thats why his mother is a crack head and mine is just a roaring b-tch.difference my friend .Im sleepy im stressed.my mom blames me for starving my self.Ok ever since the diet I only eat one small meal a day or nothing at all.WHY?!Because she wont cook nor will she give me money.And her son eats my food when im not ready to eat it when he knows fully well i get hungry at 3 o clock in the morning.And he calls me a savage and sh-t.And he deprived me of food and admitted to it.So don't blame me when one day ya wake up to see me not in my room with my clothes gone,because I will run away and never come back.I got people nation wide hun who would love to take me in any time.

Ugh.I sware ever since the brake up things have been more bumpy than ever.I'm sick of everyone in this house and i just wanna move out already.I have a choice I just don't wanna make it.I s houldnt have to move,she should move out not me.

-Leon

[*stephinika*]

Dear cB diary,

Oh wow...definitely one of the best days EVER. It was amaaaazing. Long drive but I just read his book, Angels & Demons (the Dan Brown book) and it was quite good. We got there in the morning and ate brunch at La Bocca which was good. Just walked around for awhile and did a little shopping before checking out our hotel. Got a nice Roxy tanktop and he bought me a gorgeous heart necklace. Then to our hotel, the Hilton! We were able to check in early and it was absolutely beautiful. Our room was stunning. It was nice and big, the bathroom had a bathtub jacuzzi, we had the comfiest king sized bed, tv, nice fireplace and a lil' balcony too. We took a nap before checking out the pool/hottub in the time we had before dinner. Then we had the fanciest dinner ever at the Araxi. Had a lovely rose waiting at our table, the service was excellent and the food absolutely delicious. Had some yummy martinis too! After that, we hung out at our hotels bar for awhile drinking and playing checkers/dice. Finally we retired to our room for a nice dip in the jacuzzi and relaxing time in front of the fireplace. We slept in which was nice and had breakfast downstairs before checking out and walking around the village some more then we headed home.

Definitely an amazing 2 days and mini-vacation with him. I absolutely loved it!

[deplorable]

dear cB diary
thank you god, im home. i kissed the ground when i got out of sight of big g...
phil is sick, i hope he gets better in time for the celebrations.
i wish people would understand its not bad to be unique....

[iGio]

Dear cb,

I am so f-cking pissed.My mother and my brother.I need to get away from them!Im gonna have a nervous break down soon.You know what else,they guy who did the v.t shooting.My f-cking hero.I dont give a f-ck about who thinks it sick.they deserved it innocent or not.I would do the same sh-t to my family though.Im sick of them!Except my little sister.Im sick of them all.My mother f-cking yells at david again today because I let him in early and he brang carlos.So shes like "what are you doing on my laptop,uh uh giovani shut it down,it isnt a toy"So i said they arent breaking it shut up.Wtf hes not your kid to be talking to like that.On period or not dont talk to my company like that.And shes like who is that boy?! when they left.DONT WORRY ABOUT IT HES NOT F-CKING ME.Hes not doing sh-t so dont worry about it.Shes like oh dont bring people in when you dont know if im dressed or not.OK YOU WENT TO THE STORE I KNOW YOUR F-CKING DRESSED DONT GIMME THAT BULL SH-T ASS EXCUSE.

Jesus christ.I'm not even stressed.Im just fed up,with everything.I lost my interest for blasting music in my ipod.My father dissapoints me.My mother is a roaring b-tch and she complains when im a bigger one.My brother is a little kiss ass momma's boy who aint moving out till hes 21.BOO BOO im moving out when im 16.Wait till i see him as a corrupt cop knocking on my door for help.I am going to shut my life out from my family once i move out.Ok he f-cking yells at my sister because she was crying and he told her shut up,so i said no you shut the f-ck up and go back in your f-cking room.So he came in my room and disconnected my internet.Likes its gonna hurt?!sh-t i got wireless hun.Secondly! you gonna cry because i cursed you out?!Bull sh-t suck my nuts and get over it.Sh-t Im crazy they dont understand.Ok when I was 6 years old I tried to f-cking kill my brother with a butter nife.My dad had to hold me back.It wasnt the first time that I planned to kill him either.I planned it so many times when he was sleeping.I hate him with every burning passion in my body i wish he was dead! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM.Then they hate that I got a bad ass temper.HELLO IF YOUR SO CONCERNED SEEK IMMEDIATE HELP FOR ME.Because Im gonna kill someone one of these days.

Im so fed up of bull sh-t friends too.Dont be all like nice to me one day and the next when you see me put your head down and keep walking because your confused.Sorry if your my friend.You are my family.Im there for you quicker than a fat kid runs for mr.softee.So you wanna keep your head down and when i walk away you wanna turn your head and look at me no.Dont even.Im not here to baby sit you.And I told many of my careless life f-ck up friends that so many time.I warn and warn them before anything because I know its gonna happen.They ignore my warning and when it happens,because it actually does,they come crying to me.Like hop off i f-cking warned you more than once.Dont deny my wisdom it has a way of working its self.Anyway like i said.I got so much to worry about.i dont wanna lose ___.I really dont.I mean we always had this thing going on between us but. . . each time it just grows.We always smile at eachother and ___ does something to make me chase them.Let me not even go there right now.

Im fed up man.I do not deserve this.Yet theres nothing I can do.My fortune cookie said it,life said it.everything says it.Im not here to be happy,im an angel sent here to help my friends until I die.But i wanna run away.Start a new life and let my mother grieve for me.I wouldn't care.I just wanna run far.and never come back.Im crazy enough to do.I tried to kill my brother serveral times,I tried to kill my self,suffocate my self,kill my self by stabbing myself in the heart.I just want to get away from this wretched family.Sick of it all.

-Leon

[YourSuperior]

Dear cB Diary,

I'm glad my friend back in town! I wish he lived here then we'd be like brothers lol.

[silver-rain]

Dear cb Diary,

It's summertime, yet I can't do anything that I want. I'm stuck at home and I can't go out and party with my friends... there's no way that my parents would ever let me. Sigh.
I'm working almost everyday. Getting tired of it and ready to quit. But I am going to miss a lot of the people. Sigh, I think I might have a thing for one of the servers... who is older than I am and married. Man, this is like the second/third time! What is it with me and married and older men hahah.
I can't wait till I move back into my dorm and have so much more freedom to hang out, etc. At home, I feel like I'm in a prison. Doesn't help that my grades sucked so my parents are pulling the guilt trip on me.
Meh, I think I need a boyfriend haha...

[concreteangel]

Dear cB Diary,

Why was I so stupid? Why didnt I see that this was coming? Why didnt I see that he was going to leave me? Why cant I get rid of all this pain? I keep trying to move on but I cant help to think of him. I feel so numb inside.