Dear cB Diary,, Createblog Diary no. 10 Options

[Jinny]

Dear cB Diary,

The health final was really hard & it costs 50% of my grade. Great. Ah, and so does my math final. Now my report cards going to be messeddd up. My grades went down, and I brought them up with extra credit stuff and improved test scores. But my FINALS are going to be part of my grade.. ugh. I seriously can't wait until school ends. Seriously.

[DarkInsanityxx]

Dear cB Diary,

I hate that my brother is living with us again, i can never blast my music of Corbin <3 cause then he f**king complains about it just like my father GAH!! its annoying this silence...then yesturday night so much BS happened........................but i cant say nothing i rather just keep quiet of everything for now.

Edit

I dont feel well at all Well at the beginning of the day sure but now i feel awful my stomach hurts and everything damn these pains to hell! >.< well atleast im done with finals and its all over school is over but my regents is this thursday im scared!!! but hopefully i do ok ^^ so far i have been very moody for some Odd reason...well i know why but im not sure im ready to tell anyone yet at the moment....>.>

[iGio]

Dear cb,

Ugh I got the only heart burn.I have not slept yet at all,But I know in a few minutes or hours I will be knocked out and end up waking up at 3.And all I smell is sweaty open legs.It's urking my nerves because my room smells good,I'm clean,my blanket and pillow smell fine,and i'm getting naucious from that smell.I'm not comfortable on my bed,it is so hot.School is over but i'm bored out my freaking mind.I played gunz and owned with 71 kills.Then I got bored and logged off.Being bored is killing me.I have nothing to do.I dont want to go to sleep but i'm sleepy.

This heart burn is really killing me along with the heat.I dont know if my brother turned off the ac or not.And I have to keep my door closed so it can get cold in the kitchen which sucks because I have no cold air.I wanna go to the park with my ipod,no one there but me.With a nice cold breeze while im on the swings with my eyes closed going really high for hours.My mom is waking up x__x.I need a cold shower to keep me up.I need a new game to play because summer has started.I haven't gone shopping yet nor have I freaking done nothing I planned yet except for the diet which I had going on for weeks.I need to wash my hair,the heat makes it really itchy which pisses me off.I'm craving waffles too.I want that digital camera!It's so sexy.I want two things : Naruto ultimate ninja 2,and that sexy black thin camera.I deserve it because I never got my computer for my birthday and my dad doesn't even know.So basically I am owed 300.00$.All because she had to pay my brothers stupid cred card bill.I should make my brother buy it.It's his f*cking fault.Now I am feeling awake.

Lexy said she wished me and her lasted longer.I do too.And the funny thing is,we both thought of the day I made her confess that she loved me in the same day.What are the chances of something like that happening?Ugh I'm going to take me a 5 hour shower.My hair is making me really angry!.I gotta clean my room today.From tip to toe.I'm throwing out the bed piece and putting my matress on the floor.Well that's if I don't procrastinate haha.But I really gotta clean under my bed.I'ts a monster under there :o.I need to put up my posters of my monkey <3 and miley.Of course I need more posters.I wanna go to my dad's job and throw rocks in the ocean.

Friday's plan-
-Buy new headphones
-SAVE THAT LEFT OVER 5 BUCKS LMAO
-Buy my self a latte if i dont save those 5$

I'm really bored.Yesturday I really let go.I ate like a beast.But that's it.Summer has started and I'm going to continue my diet.I mean I did good for those weeks keeping my word.And now I'll have even more time to work on it :D.But I also don't wanna be home all summer.I wanna travel.Oh I forgot.Harry that little test tube open mouth baby while coming out his mothers crotch tried to intimidate me yesturday.Haters much.I was walking with kristina and of course I looked at angel and kept walking.So angel said something to harry about me,of course he's too afraid to say it to my face.So harry like screamed trying to scare me,I did jump because it was unexpected.But I didn't let it show but I heard them laughing.They are just mad because they always see me with pretty girls and of course all they can get is penny worth hoes from the corner.Ugh the most funny part is.I stopped going over there since the end of 6th grade summer.Now im a sophmore.Really,how immature it is they still have beef over nothing.Like they gotta grow up.I'd bet they be staring at my ass though if i was in shorts.Baby strip and tease,don't let them get the intention that your gonna please~

I'm still bored.MY HAIR im about to burn it off.Ugh and here the drama for today starts.My little sister whining = my mom waking up = her being nosy and coming in my room to see what im doing = her b-tching at me to go to the store that she sees me up = bad start of the morning.I really gotta pee too xOOOOO.

-Leon

[Amaranthus]

Dear CB diary,

Today was my last day of school, and yet, I'm totally indifferent to anything that happened today. I could care less really. Whats wrong with me?

[flutterby88]

:D:D:D:D:D:D YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!! phew, glad that's cleared up, i haven't felt that way since the day before M asked me out and i didn't know if he would or not. i didn't even have lunch cuz my stomach was tied up in knots all day. oh i'm so happy, well, not entirely, but i feel much better. i wasn't sure how he'd react, would he really listen or get mad that i was butting in too much? but he said if it really bothered me he'd stop once and for all cuz he didn't want anything in the way of our friendship:). gosh that meant the world to me, even how close we are now, i wonder if he treasures me as much as i do him. but now i know. i was glad to have another heart to heart with him, i love when he opens up like that. i still wish things were different, but if it were up to me, no one would do it. but at least i have his confidence and trust, and i've learned my place in telling people what to do. it'll take a lot more than that to lose my friendship anyway. oh what a relief, can't wait till B phones so i can tell her all about it. recital tomorrow!!! wish me luck:D

[Jinny]

Dear cB Diary,

Wow. We don't even have time to do that. It's the end of the school year and we shouldn't be getting projects like that one. We don't even have time. Can't we discuss it instead of doing a crappy writing project like that? UGH. I seriously can't wait until school ends.
Also, what is wrong with her? It's just a regular, end of the school year party. What does she expect, a hotel to sleep in? Why can't you ever be satisfied? Do you expect everything to be celebrity-style? Well, you better not, because I'm sorry to say this, but you're really.. not pretty and NOT star quality. Just be satisfied. Jeez. &If you don't like the people that are going to go downtown with us, then JUST DON'T GO. The world doesn't freakin' revolve around YOU. Just accept the people. Stop being a selfish, whiny b*tch and stop making everyones lives so difficult. You can't even notice this. I hate you sometimes. You're.. conceited and RUDE RUDE RUDE RUDE RUDE RUDE!

[iGio]

Dear cb,

Well today,well yesturday [since today is now sat] me kristina and evelyln hung out as usual.Went to our usual spot Duane Reade.The whole day was really cool.We started looking at houses that we would love to live in and stuff like that.Which led us to our long discussion of making it to that type of life.Like that luxirious nice life that we dont have at the moment due to where we live.It's no walk in the park.And i've been thinking about me officially going into an acting career.I mean love it.I'm multi-talented.I can cook,sing,web design,give theraphy,act.So many things but like.I need an agent.I wanna enter this with evelyn too.Me her and kristina have alot planned out but like.We need to think it out more.I dont wanna wait till after college to pursue this career you know?It's tough.So tomorrow morning im going to talk to my mom about finding me an agent.I really would love to act on disney.Its something i can only dream of right now.And she always wanted me to act.When I was little i would tell her my dreams of being an actor or shef or doctor.She always said "hey if you want i'll put you through training".She really supports me on this type of stuff.But what if it's different now?I hope she says yes.I really want this.For me,no for us.

-Leon

[smileeetina]

Dear Cb Diary,

I need a hug. I feel like crying. It feels weird cause I haven't cried in months, close to a year. I'm not really that crying-type-of-person. I feel like I a need to change. I feel like I HAVE CHANGED, but maybe I should change again? Does that make any sense at all? Well, blah. I need to get my thoughts together. Boyfriend is in North Carolina, Bestfriend is at Ramona's place. Its alright though, this time I need to get it together on myyy oowwnnnn.

[DarkInsanityxx]

Dear cB Diary,

Well so far this summer beginning has been fun. I've been hanging out alot with Leon and Kristina. Hahaha i have an awsome time with them just hanging and bugging out. We made our plans on what to do and everything I have fun with them im always laughing and i never have a thought about anything else. But..both Kristina and Leon have what they want to do in life planned out. I dont..i dont know. My mom cant support me in anything finacally so my only thing to do is finish highschool and get a scholarship for college or else i wont be able to go. And that sucks big time. I really do want to go to college to learn more about what i want to be. At this point right now i want to be a graphic designer, but im not so good at it...i dont know what im good at. Im good with Kids, animals, but i love computers. I love computers but i dont know how to do anything on them. With Kids and animals i know how to treat them and stuff and i would be a good doctor to Kids {pediatric} and Animals {Vet.} but i dont love doing that. Im like in a big dilema in what to do. I also love Acting and singing but once again you need an agent and an agent cost money. Like i said i cant do that because my mom doesnt have the money. It sucks life time because..theres many things i want to do but i cant because of the money....i guess i'll just have to waste my damn life doing something i hate....i hate the situation i live in. I always wonder why some kids that dont deserve it get it all, they get spoiled they get everything in a f**king gold plater but yet some of us who actually need it cause we want something so bad..dont get it. And my mom she supports me and it gets her upset that she cant give me what i need in order to persue my dreams and like i tell her its ok maybe in another life time i could for now all i can do is dream and maybe just maybe my wishes would come true for once. I'll just have to wait it out. I mean it was nice looking at those Magazine's with those fabolous houses and bedroom at Duane Reade with Leon and Kristina..and i know if we work together we can make the luxiorous house...dream house come true but...i dont know i'll just wait and see. only time will tell what will happen.

[ashleybby]

dear cb,
these past couple of days have been the best. he came to town and told his sister he would try and not kiss me, unless he thought we could get back together and by the end of the night we definitely did more than kiss, but i highly doubt he will ask me back out. it sucks, but i am not going to get my hopes up. but yesterday we spent all day together, just me and him. it was amazing. i had the best time ever. but he is going back home today and i wont get to see him for another 3 weeks. its so sad, i already cried thinking about it today. i am confused about what he wants from me. i dont think he is using me, but he might be. i dont even know anymore. ugh, i just hope that he doesnt get the job in san deigo so he could move back to vegas.
-ashley

[concreteangel]

Dear CB diary,
I'm sooo nervous about my interview on Wednesday. This is my first chance to get into the real working world and have a real job. This is my door to my future. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes well.

[iDecay]

Dear cB Diary,

This past week has been like an emotional roller coaster. It started of fine. I was happy about promotion and all that. Then the dance came.. Being there made me realize how much I'm going to miss a lot of people. Secrets were revealed and there were many broken hearts. (Heh, normal teenage stuff, ey?) I got to talk to Alex more. That was really good. I was hella tired but had to suck it up for promotion day. It didn't even feel like promotion.. My hair was crap, and I got disappointed with him.. I'm so stupid and nervous around him. Saturday was interesting, I guess. I went to the party after telling myself no for the past couple of months. It ended up to be worse than I expected. Brian and Maggie decided to bring beer. Oh yeah.. Smart move. Like people our age is going to know how to handle this. Drunk people are fun, though, I'll say that. I ran out of gum since everybody smelled bad. DG asked me for my last piece and I made him promise me he wouldn't take another one. He walked away and said nevermind. Jenny, Michelle, Kathy, Pauline, Paul and I remained sober; thank god. Everyone ended up camera whoring or really dizzy. Oh, my mother is a bitch. I hate her for not letting my hug guys. ESPECIALLY a gay one. WTF is wrong with that? And what's wrong with not having her beliefs? Aren't I entitled to my own opinion? Gaah. Rant.. Rant.. RANT.

[taurus4321]

Dear cB Diary,


I didn't realize I was so easily replacable...

To make a very long story short, I told my mom about all of the things my best friend of 3 years, Samantha, and I have done. Things like drink alcohol and let boys sleep over and drive out of town to go to clubs and bars with grown men. My family already didn't think she was a good friend because she didn't come to my 18th birthday or my high school graduation. She didn't just happen to miss those events, she flat-out ignored them and their importance to me...

Basically, my mom said I'm not allowed to hang out with Samantha anymore because she doesnt think that she's a good friend or a good influence. Also, she doesnt like how Sam's mom just allows her to do whatever she wants, like drink, smoke cigarettes and weed, or have sex with these grown-ass MEN.

When I told Samantha we couldnt hang out for a while, she was acting all heartbroken and confused even though I told her why. When I tried to tell her that I needed to get back in the church, she took it as if I was saying I thought that I was better than her, or too good to be her friend, which is something that never even crossed my mind. I didnt judge her or her actions. We IM-ed maybe twice since then, but it seemed like I was talking to just an aquaintance rather than my best friend. It was akward...

Anyway, here we are, barely 2 weeks later and I've been so easily replaced. I'm not saying that she shouldnt have another friend, but the way she seemed to have just deleted all traces that I was ever a part of her life is what hurts the most. I guess I know deep down it's for the best and that she really wasnt a true friend.

[concreteangel]

Dear cB diary,
In a way I wish that I had never even met him. After I know who he is really, its going to make it harder for me to leave when I get a new job. I've opened up to him so much. This is an unhealthy obsession.

[flutterby88]

another crazy weekend! but much happier than last week:). friday we had a quick little dinner at J's house and parentals got a little buzzed, it was so funny. then he mentioned that he saw gypsy and that it was so awesome i had to see it!!! omg that made me miss D so much, i don't know if he's still in it but i sure hope so cuz i know me and C would LOVE to go see him again. and i miss him so much. he wasn't there the night i went to go see millie and man i miss him. but anyway, then i went to A's house for a little sleep over and it was a really good night. we ate the cake, had noodles, took a trip to timmy ho's, investigated the fox grad party where the three cop cars were, and we talked about R. that was mainly why i phoned her up to hang out, she needs friends now more than ever and if she wanted to get some stuff out about him i wanted to lend an ear. i always feel helpless when she vents about him cuz there's nothing i can do more than listen really, but i'll do what i can. driving there was fun, talked to her parents about it. i miss Mrs. C and making her laugh so much. so we watched Brick and Lucky Number Sleven which is definitely on my list of favourite movies now. we had some laughs and more chats too. twas fun. then came home to shower and go straight to M's! i gave him some birthday kisses and then we went to lunch with his dad and stepmom at white spot.mmmm it was so good and so filling and C was working!!! we hugged for like two minutes and chatted until she really had to get back to work. it was SO good seeing her. then we went back to lie down in his bed and digest cuz we were so full. i can't believe i thought about giving in, glad i didn't though. then he opened some presents before going to red robins for dinner with his mom, bros & J, and sister. B was our server!!! i could not believe my luck. it was SOOOOOOOO good to see him!!! and he was SO good to our table, everyone loved him. and he gave M a huge ass mud pie for his birthday cuz he said i'm his acting buddy and they usually only give out a little sundae. M said i was gonna eat the whole thing and it's tradition so i had to:P. omg i thought i was gonna explode! then we went home to open a few more presents before they all took him to the bar. gave M a huge hug goodbye:), wish i saw him more often. then his mom drove me home and i just chilled on the computer talking to S on msn and watching six feet under. me and S talked for hours about so much stuff and i was surprised at how much he told me, i'm glad he feels he can talk to me though:), i appreciate it. and hopefully he'll be coming on tuesday!!! anyway, M phoned a couple times saying how drunk he was, N phoned too a few times but i was like go away. then they phoned at like 1am saying they were gonna go to a party to drink some more and i should come. M didn't put up a fight cuz he was drunk so i was like sure! i woke up my brother and asked him if he could keep the dog in his room to keep her from barking. i'm so lucky to have him, cuz i know he'd never rat on me. then i met them outside. it's been over a year since i did that:P, so i was a little paranoid but less scared than last time. we just went to old fox to drink in the playground cuz the party was over by then. i didn't drink. just laughed at M and F and how wasted they were. man when he fell from trying to hop the fence, it was so priceless. THEN we're heading home, and this car skids past us from out of nowhere, totally loses control, rolls over three times and crashes next to a tree in the assumption parking lot!! we were all like wtf???? so we jump out to go help but the driver jumps out of the van and books it across the field and hops the fence and disappears!! there was no one else in the car and we couldn't find him. he must've been high and stolen the car. it was SO weird. but man i was lucky, he very nearly crashed into us from behind and i wasn't wearing a seat belt. holy man, can't take risks like that. so cops and ambulence and firemen come but only the cops end up staying to ask us what happened cuz the driver totally disappeared and the car wasn't leaking gas or anything. it was so trippy. i was glad to get home and go to bed. luckily parents were out like a light. then today slept in till recital!!! my last performance of the year. T had to work so my duo became a solo! it was exciting, and it was so fun today, parents came. and then at the awards after the finale i won a scholarship for enthusiasm/achievement throughout the year! it was so exciting. wasn't entirely surprised from what T told me about the teachers wanting to bump me up for next year but i still appreciated it:). parents were so proud:P. now just waiting for everyone to show up for father's day dinner. i should join the festivities, ttyl!

[laxumaster8]

dear cB diary,

summer has started quite a while ago and i have nothing to do.

[Jinny]

Dear cB Diary,

I can't wait until school ends. &I seriously think that I'm NOT who he likes. Wtf is up with her? She just keeps butting in MY PERSONAL BUSINESS. And later on she acts all best-friend-y to _____. SHE'S SO ANNOYING AND HAS WAY TOO MANY MOOD SWINGS UGH

[jennyjenny]

dear cb journal,
you suck
my life sucks
i just got out of a relationship that i poured my soul into for the past couple months
the new guy i like doesn't like me at all
all my mother does is complain, complain, complain
after the relationship, i lost many friends
i have nothing to do this summer

k bye

[tokyo-rose]

Dear diary,

Things are looking up. I'm trying to stay happy. I'm tired of looking down on myself. Whee. xD

[USCavalry]

dear cb diary,

being single is getting old, but so are trivial relationships.

[*stephinika*]

Dear cB diary,

So much going on, ah! Such a busy few days with my aunt/cousins staying here and everything, plus work...had my dance show tonight - my last one with my studio...it was bittersweet to say the least. Sad to go, but I've just become frustrated with my classes there so I figured I might as well move on. I'm excited for Harbour summer school though. And then after that, whenever I have time I'll just do drop-ins and whatnot...I still wish I'd kept with everything when I was younger, but oh well.
It was cool catching up with my cousin Carl. Haven't seen him in years, so that was neat. So much has changed/happened since then thats for sure....what else...me and Larry are doing good. I'm sooo excited for next week its going to be amazing. But yeah, had a few talks but honestly, it brought us closer and things are great as ever now.
Tomorrow night I'm going to the movies with people so that'll be fun...haven't seen so many people in a long time, so that'll be nice. Godammit...it doesn't QUITE feel like summer with the rain. I really, Really want the sun to come back...sigh. But yeah. Things aren't too bad right now I suppose.

[Jinny]

Dear cB Diary,

I can't wait until school ends.
I can't wait until school ends.
I can't wait until school ends.
I can't wait until school ends.
I can't wait until school ends.
!! I won't have to deal with all this stupid, useless drama anymore. What is up with _____?! Why does she have to make a huge fuss about the stupidest things EVER? & I hate being the alter server, sometimes it's SO ANNOYING. Especially the person I'm doing it with tonight.

I can't wait until school ends!!

[synthase]

Dear cB diary,
school has to end now. I'm sick of jealousy and I just want to move on. My friend has been "stealing" all of my closest friends and now they don't even talk to me much anymore. I'm glad that finals are over and that I don't have a lot of homework due. I'm also excited for Six Flags this friday

[Jinny]

Dear cB Diary,

Today was okay, I guess. I can't wait until school ends though! I feel so lazy and stressed out with all of this school stuff. I hate the advisory parties! I mean, I do love parties, but what if they don't like what I bring? Ahhh whatever.. I hope we don't do any work for the last days of school. Two more half days/one full day and school's over.. OHHH AND I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL WE GET OUR YEARBOOKS! I'm going to ask "him" to sign it and of course.. I hope she writes a huge paragraph haha. I'll miss everyone over the summer, and I'll miss Sophie when school starts again I wish she didn't move! She was a great person and I survived my freshman year because of her. Gah I hope we don't lose contact!

[pic]

Dear cB diary,

[x] I don't know why he likes her. It's not that I'm jealous any longer, or have feeling for him but they're the most incompatible couple I've ever seen. They shouldn't be together and everyone sees it but them. I just want him to be happy.
[x] Along with this, her best friend can't stand them either and she ignores it. She doesn't understand what she has done wrong. She sucks.
[x] She wants invited yet she got me a present. People tell me to get over it, but I don't know if I want to. I feel bad and don't know if I have any reason to keep this going.
[x] Their friendship is failing and I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to be in the middle but they're such good friends.
[x] I hope she is happy with us as her new friends.
[x] So much has changed in the last year. It's hard to keep up with and I don't know how I'm handling it at all. It changes with the days.



I don't understand. We were becoming closer. We were and we both understood our feelings on the situation. How disloyal. How ridiculous. I should be over this but I'm not. She is not even worth thinknig about. I have so many other friends who care about me and make me happy. I'm trying to keep my head up but I keep slipping.