i dont want to break up with my bf any how ???, im buring like a candle : ( plz help me ? Options

[crazybutterfly]

hi guys ........

well i donno where to start because things are too complicated.this is my first time in thise site..im too tired of thinking and finally i got idea so start surfing on net abt relationship.i love my bf very much and he love me as well.we were very happy.we been together like 1 year 3 months now. we used to fight sometimes but next day we both will be ok and start new day again but last octuber i moved to his house because i got problem with my old house so i need to move as soon as possile. problem is my contract is finished.The thing is he took me to his house without his parents permission because i got problem and he said he will explained to his family.he already told me abt his family that his dad is always in work and he drinks a lot..his mom is mentally sick....and he got older bro which is gay(he is not too sure) but he think so.but i don't mind it because i love him if he's fine then i got no problem.well 14th april '07 we had a big fight in the middle of night actually i know i was causing problem and he already warned me but i couldn't help myself because i was too angry i had fight with my fren outside ...well that is after work and i was very tired...he said please leave me alone otherwise i might do something...i keep bugging him and he hit me but it was too serious...i forgive him cuz it was my mistake...well i feel bad not because he hit me because we had that time too just because of my one silly mistakes ..well next day he didnt talk to me its been like 12 days already he didnt talk to me ...after that fight i cried almost everyday ...well last sunday i woke up in the middle of night and i asked him forgive me please he says no and he told me we already broke up which i cant belive ...i said give me last chance but he still not talking to me ..but im really helpless..i want him to come back and give me one more chance..i just dont want our love to die...i want him back anyhow ..cuz i love him so much ....please anyone suggest me how to get him back but he dont talk if i talk to him he says no ..go away ..please leave me and stuffs.....so i just keep quiet but cant control too long..this 10th of may im going to move my house too ....i really love him ....i cannot imagine without him ..i can do anything for him to get back ...i just want someone to guide me to get him back ...well i send him emails saying sorry to but it didnt work ...anyone plaaa for god shake show me way ...how to get him ...backk ....my lost love...he said we broke up but i cannot accept it ......im going to leave from his house this 10th of may .... i just want him back and i know what to do rest but he don't talk to me at all ..i dont know what to do ...guys i know you will suggest me leave him cuz he hit you n stuff but guys listen to me im very serious i just want him back i will sucide if i can't get him back ....i really love him ....i can do anything for him but i cannot leave him ... i love him so much ....please suggest me how to make him talk to me ....well i wrote email and it didnt work ...donno what to do ......please if you guys can help me than it would be very very great ,....im waiting for your reply .....thanks a lot .......