Hobo-rrific stories Options

[fragrance]

Hobos. The public have mixed opinions about them but I believe the general consumption is that they are lazy bastards who prefer to bum around instead of utilizing the government's programs to help them get a job. Who knows. All I know is they're funny and scary and exhume a bad smell.

I've had some interesting encounters with several hobos throughout my life, but this one just topped them all. If you're from the Houston area, you'd probably met them as well.

First and foremost, I will list some one the most memorable hobos I've met.

1. The shadow-boxing hobo: I used to see him everyday on my way to work last year. He was always shadow boxing at the metro stop and people would throw money at him to see if he would beat his shadow or not. Sad thing is, his shadow always whoops his ass. HAHAHAHA.

2. The bible-thumping hobo: I know several people who has had encounters with this guy. Usually spotted @ Richmond, this guy is always flailing his arms in the air and says we are all damned, etc etc.

3. The alcoholic hobo: I always see this guy everywhere I go. He'd hang out in front of Walmart with a sign "NEED MONEY FOR BEER, AT LEAST IM NOT LYING". He actually goes through my line a lot buying beer and other shit... pays me with a bunch of coins. I also seen him at the galleria, for what purpose is beyond my understanding.

4. The singing-windshield-washing hobo: I recently posted a bulletin about this guy who wiped my dirty ass windshield only to make it dirty again, and offered to sing to me if I gave him money. Creepy motherf**ker. He's from Compton btw. He moved to Houston to be a hobo.

5. The videogame-playing hobo: Recently spotted at walmart, always playing with the games.

6. The Hungry Hungry Hobo: I encounter this hobo almost every night on my way to work. I almost hit his ass cuz I was going to donate to him but the light turned GREEN. Spotted on 59 and Chimney Rock. He must be one hungry ass mofo cuz he is there every damn day. I had a friend that told me that he tried giving him some food but hobo got mad and threw the food at his car. I told him that hobo don't want no food, he wants your money cuz he's really the alcoholic hobo in disguise, cuz everyone is looking out for his bum ass and not donating for the sake of alcohol. What I dont get is... how come that hobo is fat?????????????


7. The hobo I met today: Now this guy really cracked me up. We were driving on Katy just to cruise around when we saw this guy at the stop light. This hobo was holding the sign "GOT STRESS??? YELL AT ME FOR ONE DOLLAR"


Houston has the best hobos in the world. H in HTOWN should stand for hobo.


I'm wondering if you folks from wherever you are have entertaining hobos like we in Houston enjoy. Share!