How many of you have I offended?, :p Options

[*Uronacid*]

Well, I know I offend many people on cB. You might think I'm ignorant when I ask this question, but "Why are you so offended by what I say?" I guess I just don't unerstand, and instead of you giving me attitude I would like to make things right. I don't care what it takes. If you want to cuss me out and call me names then please, if that's what you need to do, do it. If that's what it takes for you to feel like you have avenged my "attitude" towards you, then so be it. I would to first understand you, and then I would like you to understand me. I'm sick of the lack of communication.

I personally believe that the main reason many of you hate me is due to a lack of communication on both my part those of you who don't not like me. I would like to make things better, and if any of you have a problem with me or my ideas I would like you to step forward instead of harboring bitterness towards me andd the people I associate with.

So, in order to take the first step in resolving this obvious conflict I would like to take the time to understand you're piont of view. I would like to ask.

Why do you dislike me?

Please do not post if you aren't willing to give me the same respect that I am willing to give you. I will listen to you and try and understand you, but before you post you must realize that I WILL REPLY. In the same way that I am taking my time to listen to your reply (whoever you may be) I expect you to respect me and listen to mine.

[*Duchess of Dork*]

I only have a couple of minutes before I have to run out, but I'll give you a bit of a glimpse as to what's inside my head when I read this -

As far as being offended? Never. Honestly not once.

However, irritated? You betcha. It's not what you say necessarily, it's your unrelenting narcissism.

I think you're a good kid. I really do and this is not the first time I've said this. I also think that you are capable of doing quite a bit, both creatively and personally.

You just need to think outside of, well, you everyonce in a while.

I do realize that you mention Holly every once in a while, but it's always to show something about yourself when you do. It's never truly about her.

I hope you're not offended by this, as you did ask for truth and I assumed that being candid was cool.

&EDIT: I see that you have edited your post during the time I was responding. I responded here because I believed that is what you wanted. I am not personally looking for feedback, however. If I was, I would have made a thread about myself. ---Just for the record. (I'm also not looking for banter. I'm here to drop off my opinion. I cannot guarantee I'll return to this thread. I don't mean that in a bad way, I promise).

[*Uronacid*]

I only have a couple of minutes before I have to run out, but I'll give you a bit of a glimpse as to what's inside my head when I read this -

As far as being offended? Never. Honestly not once.

However, irritated? You betcha. It's not what you say necessarily, it's your unrelenting narcissism.

I think you're a good kid. I really do and this is not the first time I've said this. I also think that you are capable of doing quite a bit, both creatively and personally.

You just need to think outside of, well, you everyonce in a while.

I do realize that you mention Holly every once in a while, but it's always to show something about yourself when you do. It's never truly about her.

I hope you're not offended by this, as you did ask for truth and I assumed that being candid was cool.

I think you have me all wrong, but I can see how I come off as a "self-lover".... It maybe because I actually hate myself, and I'm saying things to build myself up. I do use this site as a playground at times.

The thing you said about Holly really bothered me. I'm not sure what what you were trying to say by it. I think you were trying to say that "the only time I mention Holly is when I try to build myself up." Well, this is deffinilty not the case. I don't know if you read the relationships section, but I mention her all the time in a possitive way. I'm really proud of her. Just recently in a topic about "How people on cB have effected your life" I posted a paragraph boasting all the things she has done for me. Without Holly I wouldn't be who I am today. I appriciate her more than you could ever imagine.

I guess if you think I'm as selfish as percieve me to be. I could understand. I would like You to expand upon that part so I could understand why you feel that way. Maybe give me a few examples of some posts that I made so I can understand what you're talking about. I really don't want to go into to much detail because I don't understand you entirely.

[KissMe2408]

Josh, I don't think you ever have really offended me.
And honestly, yeah, communicating with you helps,
a lot of times it's misunderstanding around here. . .

Again, I saw a lot in you before, back like a year ago or whatever.
A great guy, a lot to offer really.

And yes, i'm glad you wrote this thread, hopefully a few things can get
straightened out. A lot of it may be just picking and choosing your battles.
There are a lot of strong and opinionated people on here. A lot of them with very different viewpoints. It's inevitable that people will disagree with each other. But it's important to pick and choose your fights. Being the bigger man at times and letting things go, turning away. Not being a pushover, but just being mature about a disagreement. Realizing that that person has a totally different opinion and probably never will change. And again, some people just don't get along with other people. Even if they agree on the same issues, they just don't click.

So I encourage you, again, to pick your battles in this thread. As i'm sure some people will come out with fists swinging. Some people will not give you the respect deserved or needed. You need to know that, understand it, and kinda take it. Give them back as much respect as you can muster, and move on. It's hard, trust me. But iti's gotta be done sometimes.

[*Uronacid*]

Josh, I don't think you ever have really offended me.
And honestly, yeah, communicating with you helps,
a lot of times it's misunderstanding around here. . .

Again, I saw a lot in you before, back like a year ago or whatever.
A great guy, a lot to offer really.

And yes, i'm glad you wrote this thread, hopefully a few things can get
straightened out. A lot of it may be just picking and choosing your battles.
There are a lot of strong and opinionated people on here. A lot of them with very different viewpoints. It's inevitable that people will disagree with each other. But it's important to pick and choose your fights. Being the bigger man at times and letting things go, turning away. Not being a pushover, but just being mature about a disagreement. Realizing that that person has a totally different opinion and probably never will change. And again, some people just don't get along with other people. Even if they agree on the same issues, they just don't click.

So I encourage you, again, to pick your battles in this thread. As i'm sure some people will come out with fists swinging. Some people will not give you the respect deserved or needed. You need to know that, understand it, and kinda take it. Give them back as much respect as you can muster, and move on. It's hard, trust me. But iti's gotta be done sometimes.

Alright, I agree with you.

A year ago, I was extremely nice to everyone. I guess I just had no reason to be mean. So, I never was mean. No one was a jerk to me, and so I was never a jerk to anyone else. The first time I was provoked was in the debate section. Being a christian, I get made fun of a lot in the debate section. Athiests tend to have a big problem with "faith". I can understand why, but for them to make fun of me for my beliefs was disrespectful. Statues/Shadows and Nate would consistantly call me an idiot for believing many of the things I believed in, and most of it was purely because they didnt' understand due to their own beliefs. I made up with Nate, but me and statues/shadows we didn't. I just let it go...

Durring the first hiring season I ever had a chance to apply for a position in I was aske to give my honest opinion on all the candidates applications. So, I did. I wasn't looking to start a fight (although many of you may have thought I was.). I just gave my honest opinion (on of the biggest mistakes I have ever made on this site). I tore Kathleen's application apart like a weather balloon in a hurricane. I didn't even know her, but based upon the appilcation that she presented I made my opinions very clear. It was a huge mistake. James, Anna, and several others (who were obviously freinds with Kathleen) decided to tear me apart the best they possibly could. I didn't even know these people, and they were gang banging me. I was doing what staff asked me to do, and these people tore me apart for it! So, I defended myself, and in the process recieved a verbal warning. I was humiliated. They torn at me for everything... from calling me names to consistant critque of grammar/spelling... anything and everything they couldd think of.... It was that day that my hatred for cB grew... it was that day that I have never let go. I am still bitter about that hiring season. The day that I felt I was rediculed for being honest.

It was from that piont on that I became an "a-hole". If you notice, I only pick fights with specific people, and those people are the people that tore me apart on that day. Unfortunatly, I chose to be the scapegoat by becoming enemies with some of the most popular people cB has ever known. So, me retailiating not only means that they hate me, but their freinds hate me, and their friends friends also hate me.

I felt as if the community was full of lemmings (a.k.a. people who cannot think for themselves.. people who will follow the ideas of in individual just because they are friends with that indiviual.). It was then that I was detirmined to give cB a piece of my mind. I wanted to rub against the grain. I know you're right when you say that I should choose my fights, but what about the fights that will ever been fought because people are to afraid to oppose certain individuals? ugh.... I mean... I hear what you're saying some people just arn't worth the fight, but if you are saying being a "cool" person on cB means "agreeing with certain people just because you know that they will become bitter when you disagree with them" I just can't do it.... I would feel like I'm letting them walk all over me.

Of course their are two sides to every story... this is just how I felt... I will add more later.

[*mishyerr*]

I have never been offended by you. I think you're quite humorous. :]

[Smoogrish]

I can't say I've ever been horribly offended, just EXTREMELY annoyed with you, to be honest. You come across as a little full of yourself and inconsiderate of others, and some of your posts bothered me. I think you're really a nice guy at heart, but you have a tendency to say things other people don't like (like me, I admit I really didn't like some of your posts), but I appreciate you for being honest about what you think.

And I appreciate you for making this thread. Just because you care. Before, I thought you didn't really give a damn what other people thought. Not that that's bad, but it's nice to get a little feedback every once in a while.

[*Duchess of Dork*]

I think you have me all wrong, but I can see how I come off as a "self-lover".... It maybe because I actually hate myself, and I'm saying things to build myself up. I do use this site as a playground at times.

The thing you said about Holly really bothered me. I'm not sure what what you were trying to say by it. I think you were trying to say that "the only time I mention Holly is when I try to build myself up." Well, this is deffinilty not the case. I don't know if you read the relationships section, but I mention her all the time in a possitive way. I'm really proud of her. Just recently in a topic about "How people on cB have effected your life" I posted a paragraph boasting all the things she has done for me. Without Holly I wouldn't be who I am today. I appriciate her more than you could ever imagine.

I guess if you think I'm as selfish as percieve me to be. I could understand. I would like You to expand upon that part so I could understand why you feel that way. Maybe give me a few examples of some posts that I made so I can understand what you're talking about. I really don't want to go into to much detail because I don't understand you entirely.

Since you PM'd me, I will oblige. :)

These are perceptions I have of you, at this time. Take from them what you will. I do not really sugarcoat things so my reactions can seem a bit on the salt and vinegar side. It's a well recognized flaw/something to approve upon. (Although, that's subjective as well).

I think you might have misunderstood though. I'm not saying that in your personal life you only have feelings for yourself. I'm quite aware of your feelings for your girlfriend. However, the overall vibe (that word is so irksome, but I can't think of a better one at the moment) from your posts, even when you post about another has, in one or another a reflection upon yourself. You may not even realize you're doing that. Like I said before, perception. That's all it is. It's not at all necessarily a reflection of your feelings in real life. I was referring to you, the poster, not you the boyfriend (if that makes any sense at all).

I realize this would be better if I came up with a bunch of posts to cite here, but I honestly just don't have the time. I'm also going to use that dang "P" word again, perception.

I wouldn't take what I said about Holly too much to heart. I think it merits repeating to say that I wasn't commenting about or making assumptions of your feelings. I was giving you an idea of a perception (there's that silly word again) I've had when reading through posts you've made the past few months or so.

Hopefully that at least somewhat clears it up.

[*Uronacid*]

I can't say I've ever been horribly offended, just EXTREMELY annoyed with you, to be honest. You come across as a little full of yourself and inconsiderate of others, and some of your posts bothered me. I think you're really a nice guy at heart, but you have a tendency to say things other people don't like (like me, I admit I really didn't like some of your posts), but I appreciate you for being honest about what you think.

And I appreciate you for making this thread. Just because you care. Before, I thought you didn't really give a damn what other people thought. Not that that's bad, but it's nice to get a little feedback every once in a while.

Well, it's not that I don't give a damn... I guess I'm just completely open and honest. I don't hold back the truth.... ever.

I know I might come across as "full of my self", "self-righteous", or "inconsiderate", but in reality I'm just being completely honest. I have always been told that honesty is the best policy, and I have always stuck to that policy. No matter how difficult the truth may be for people to hear I always deliver. Yeah, sometimes it makes people angry, but I'm really helping them. I only hope that they will do the same for me with the hopes that I will become a better person. The person who takes crap is just as bad as the person giving it because they are allowing the shit-giver to continue delivering shit. ;]

Since you PM'd me, I will oblige. :)

These are perceptions I have of you, at this time. Take from them what you will. I do not really sugarcoat things so my reactions can seem a bit on the salt and vinegar side. It's a well recognized flaw/something to approve upon. (Although, that's subjective as well).

I think you might have misunderstood though. I'm not saying that in your personal life you only have feelings for yourself. I'm quite aware of your feelings for your girlfriend. However, the overall vibe (that word is so irksome, but I can't think of a better one at the moment) from your posts, even when you post about another has, in one or another a reflection upon yourself. You may not even realize you're doing that. Like I said before, perception. That's all it is. It's not at all necessarily a reflection of your feelings in real life. I was referring to you, the poster, not you the boyfriend (if that makes any sense at all).

I realize this would be better if I came up with a bunch of posts to cite here, but I honestly just don't have the time. I'm also going to use that dang "P" word again, perception.

I wouldn't take what I said about Holly too much to heart. I think it merits repeating to say that I wasn't commenting about or making assumptions of your feelings. I was giving you an idea of a perception (there's that silly word again) I've had when reading through posts you've made the past few months or so.

Hopefully that at least somewhat clears it up.

Considering what other people have said i understand why you have that perception. I'll tell you right now, your totally wrong... I'm not that person at all in real life. I think that often times people read my posts as if there is some secret meaning behind what I'm saying. They end up taking my posts out of context because they have this false perception of who I am, and expect me to live up to that perception (if that makes sense). It's completely understandable. It's the internet. Everyone does that.

i dont think youve offended me at all.
i dont think people necessarily hate you, or dislike you, they just dont like how you present yourself when you post up threads like the stuff about the black thing, when you assumed rik and jerome were black =/ (not sure, thats how i remembered things)
and if youre asking people to cuss or call you names, obviously they arent gonna do it.
i think ive talked to you once in pm but it was small talk haha
yikes btw. sorry i havent been doing as many missions on ut. im seriously overloading on schoolwork nowadays.

I made that assumption and it was wrong... >.>

I'm not asking people to cuss me out. I'm giving them permission to if they feel like they have to. I know that some of the members on this site are probably so frustrated with me that they may need to let off a little steam.

Omg, don't worry about the missions. Being part of the Unholy Trinity is similar to being on staff. You don't have to participate if your schedule's to busy, and you shouldn't feel obligated. The only reason you should participate is if you enjoy participating. Don't look at it like an obligation.

[tokyo-rose]

You've never offended me, and I don't think badly of you. It's just that some of your posts I've seen could have been worded more respectfully and considerately. I understand that when you feel passionate about something you tend to type your thoughts without thinking of how they'll seem later on, so I guess that's something you could work on. Other than that you seem like an okay person.

[Jeng]

I don't think I've ever been offended by you, your topic posts are REALLY long, and I just like....tell the truth, don't bother reading it. Sorry but yeah. You come across to me as opinionated and an okayish person who types a lot..:D

[*Monochrome.*]

I dont think you have ever offended me.However you have at times made me feel like you dont listen to me, or at times never have taken me serious.But thats just a vibe you have given me.

Do I dislike you? Nooooo

[*disco infiltrator*]

^ That, that's what I don't like, and what most people don't like. You are such an attention-grabber. It is so annoying. Get over yourself.

And I agree with Suzzette; why is there a thread on why everyone doesn't like someone else? Kind of not what we're trying to move toward, you know, the whole more nice and less mean and more friendliness and less animosity thing...

[*Duchess of Dork*]

Actually, I hate to say it, but both Sammi and Suzzette have a valid point that I overlooked -

POINTLESS THREADS
Random topics that no one will be able to reply to in a productive manner or discuss will be closed. This includes topics like 'I'm bored', "Look at my pics", "Do u love me", topics whose sole intent is to insult someone. These forums are for discussion, not attention seeking.

Lounge Forum Rules

CONTROVERSY
Think before you post. Everyone is different and everyone has different stances on certain issues. A little tact is never a bad thing. When you have an argument, it's better to post with reasoning justifying your views. Avoid saying things that creates or has the potential of creating controversy.

PERSONAL ATTACKS
Flaming, trolling, member bashing-you name it-will not be tolerated here. If you're making an argument, it's always better to retort with reason and composure. Personal attacks are childish and have no place in these forums.

Community Guidelines

I realize that "Pointless" seems harsh, but it is attention seeking, even if done in a relatively calm and respectful manner. Now, if this were a thread about why people having certain misgivings with eachother, as a whole and not just towards you, than that is something else entirely to consider.

The other two I quoted because I fear that this thread will end up having responses that would violate those rules. That isn't why this is getting closed, however. It's the first rule I posted.

I am sorry.

Please PM Mona or Kiera, who are essentially my superiors and can override this if they feel it necessary and/or feel that the rule was taken too literally.

I'm just trying to follow the rules as best I can.

----------------------------EDIT----------------------------

As requested, re-opened and moved to Relationships. Even though the question is regarding cB members, it is Relationship based so I am going to oblige for the time being.

Having said that - this is not to become a big member bashing party and/or a thread of arguments/mud slinging.

Please, please, please keep things civil or else this will have to be re-closed.

[*Uronacid*]

Hey thanks... :]

[AngelinaTaylor]

I just find you awfully annoying some times, because of your lack of.. how do I put it.. vision. You think you know everything (hypocritical of me to say, maybe, but still) and that bugs me.

[voguelove]

hm, i dont think you've ever offended me.
if you were seon ho, there'd be reasons.

[AngryBaby]

never offended me....... why the hell are you making this? there have been way more offensive people on cb, look at jason.

im sure ive offended people once or twice, but shit, i aint gonna make a topic about it. because im a wonderful person and that makes up for me calling black_heart kunta kente. and secondly i REALLY dont care. i just dont see how you can.

[*Uronacid*]

I just find you awfully annoying some times, because of your lack of.. how do I put it.. vision. You think you know everything (hypocritical of me to say, maybe, but still) and that bugs me.

:p

People say this to me in real life. It's not that I think I know everything... it's more like I act very confident in what I believe to be true. I guess I don't talk when I don't believe strongly in something, I feel like it's not my place to say anything.

I do respect you though Angelina. You're opinionated, like me, but you're opinions aren't backed up by bullshit. Even though they may differ from mine, they still make sense (specially on controversial issues).

never offended me....... why the hell are you making this? there have been way more offensive people on cb, look at jason.

im sure ive offended people once or twice, but shit, i aint gonna make a topic about it. because im a wonderful person and that makes up for me calling black_heart kunta kente.

Well, it's glad to hear... I guess I feel as if I have personally offended a lot of people... >.< I really just want to make things right.

hm, i dont think you've ever offended me.
if you were seon ho, there'd be reasons.

Alright, let me tell you something about sean ho. I hated him once too, but when I IMed him he turned out to be a really nice guy. Just be honest with him. I swear, he'll treat you with respect of you don't come at him offensively.

You've never offended me, and I don't think badly of you. It's just that some of your posts I've seen could have been worded more respectfully and considerately. I understand that when you feel passionate about something you tend to type your thoughts without thinking of how they'll seem later on, so I guess that's something you could work on. Other than that you seem like an okay person.

I'll agree with you... >.> it is something I need to work on. I can say the same thing without being offensive. You're right.

I don't think I've ever been offended by you, your topic posts are REALLY long, and I just like....tell the truth, don't bother reading it. Sorry but yeah. You come across to me as opinionated and an okayish person who types a lot..:D

Well thanks. I know I'm opinionated... I need to work on writing things in a way that don't seem as opinionated. I'm probably not as opinionated in real life as I come across on cB.

I dont think you have ever offended me.However you have at times made me feel like you dont listen to me, or at times never have taken me serious.But thats just a vibe you have given me.

Do I dislike you? Nooooo

I'm sorry if I made you feel that way... I know that there are times when I just sign off or don't say anything when you IM me... It's my fault. It's not just you. Sometimes I will just sit on AIM and ignore every message that comes my way. Sorry about that... I know that I need to work on being a better listener in general, but it's probably even worse because I only talk to you online... >.<

Why is this even open? This topic is a member bashing/rule-breaking topic in the making. You're just asking people to say hateful things to you, so you can "feed off of it" like you said. Sure, theoretically you're not asking them to bash you or to get out of line...but Lord knows cB isn't mature enough to handle it. So instead of going through this whole process why not have people PM you? Or do you just want attention?

Well, it's been reopened, and it has been re-opened because I am actively/sincerely trying to rebuild my reputation with the community. I know you might feel like I'm trying to get people to say hateful things about me so that feed off it. Perhaps it's because I have antagonized people for fun in the past, but I swear this topic is not for that. I'm really just trying to work things out with people.

I agree with you, I think that often times cB isn't able to handle it, but (on the other hand) I think that if I don't treat this topic like a competition this thread will not turn into "WW3". I'm not having people PM me because I honestly don't know how many people I have offended or annoyed. I promise, although this may bring attention to me, it is not for that purpose at all.

Well, I have listened to your perception of me, and I'm going to share with you my perception of you. I do feel like you don't like me, and I wish you would talk to me and work things out instead of ignoring me and treating me like I'm worthless.

[AngryBaby]

well if its any solice, I always thought you were one of the cooler people on cb. everyone thats replying here (except for me :D) has character flaws. but you can have character flaws and be a tight person. you dont have to try and eradicate each little "flaw" you think you have ya'know? its what makes you......you. and people that do try to eradicate each one ends up boring as hell. the only thing i could say to you is , you care way too much about what these people think about you, just say what you want to say. if they dont like it then f**k em'. dont ask them if you're okay, as if they are better educated in what it means to be a good person. cause they aint, i can tolerate you far more than i can tolerate some of the other people here that have never even broken a rule.

[Kontroll]

I just love you so much. The only thing that offends me about you is that you hate my church. You say it isn't practical. Well, buddy...the whole Bible isn't practical. Not every lesson can be about your everyday life. If that were the case, we wouldn't know about the history in the Bible. Come on! Damn.

And you're never in the mood to jam. Except with Anthony, but I guess that's okay.

:D

[datass]

What you say kind of annoy me sometimes, I'm not quite sure. When I find out I'll pm you, okay?

[*suddenly she*]

I've been irritated, but I don't think I've been offended. Maybe one or two of your posts just seemed rather... obnoxious at some point in time, but seeing that I don't remember when, I'm putting it behind me.

And hopefully you are too..?

[misoshiru]

You've never offended me, but I only remember you as the way you said it, an "a-hole." I'd never really seen you around before, and because I usually don't go into debate, I didn't see the drama going on between you/sammi/nate, nor did I see the application drama between you/kathleen/james/anna either. And back then, I really did see you as being an ass towards everyone. This also might be my own bias since James and I are friends. But after I returned to cB after a long hiatus, I feel that you're a lot nicer, and especially helpful in the relationships forum.

[aznxdreamer]

ive never been offended by you.