75 Ways to Know Somebody's Korean Options

[mystical]

1.The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.
2.You own a rice cooker or two.
3.You buy soy sauce by the gallon.
4.Your family owns huge butcher knives
5.Your grandma lives with you
6.You hate Denny's, even though you go there 24/7.
7.You know how to twirl your pen
8.You have a box of Ramen in your house
9. You have a box of epoca in your house
10.Your parents own at least one Mercedes, lexus, or beamer
11.White people always ask, "Say my name in Korean!"
12.Your family fight over the resteraunt bill.
13.Your parents say, "1600 isn't that hard... just study."
14.Whenever someone of the opposite sex calls, your parnets interrogate you.
15.No matter how well your parents speak English, they can't say "wood."
16.Your dad hits you in the head with his knuckle, and it hurts REALLY bad.
17.You have a big container of Kimchi in your fridge right now
18.Your parents are shorter than you.
19.Your parents start singing when drunk.
20.You know the "san-toki" song.
21.You have a Bottle and/or lil green cartridge of soju in your fridge
22.Your main source of income is New Years.
23.Your parents think anything goes with rice
24.Failing a class means finding a new place to live.
25.Your mom rents a gang load of Korean soap operas and watches them daily.
26.Your parents have naked baby pictures of you and shows them to everyone
27.When you were little, your relatives used to grab you places where you'd rather not be touched...some still try
28.You have to talk for your parents when ordering fast food.
29.Your parents are afraid of black people
30. Other non-asian races refer to you as the chinese guy/girl
31.You know how to "kimchi squat." A.K.A Gangster Squat
32.Your mom sings church hymns while driving or doing other chores.
33.Your grandmother sings church hymns really loud, while pounding her thigh, which is TOTALLY off beat.
34.You have a million black leather bibles in your house.
35.You have a gazillion small containers in your fridge with a different ban-chan inside.
36.Your parents are constantly trying to make you tall even though it's genitically impossible.
37.Whenever your parents raise their hand or make a fist you squint or shudder.
38.After coming back from church retreats, you have craving for Korean food
39.You are ashamed to be near your parents in non-asian public places
40.Your parents often wear non-matching clothes with mismatched colors.
41.Your parents verbally abuse you, even when joking around.
42.Your parents never go to your Back to School Night or Open House's.
43.You have attended some kind of Hagwon or Kumon at least once in your life.
44.You are taking or have taken Piano and/or violin lessons
45.Whenever guests come over, you have to put a show on for them with your instrument that you play
46.When you go out to hang out with someone your parents have to kno that person's phone number, address, cell phone number, if they go to church, wat nationality they are, etc..
47.When the doorbell rings, your parents get ALL suspicious and prohibit you from answering it. When they do answer it, they'll open the crack like 1 centimeter and speak through that. And if it's a salesperson, they'll slam the door screaming, "we no interest!"
48.Your dad will answer the door with WATEVER he has or doesnt have on.
49.Your family owns or owned a mini van which your mom drove.
50.When you cook kalbi outside, the neighbors always ask what that aroma is
51.You think EVERYTHING is racial, even if someone was just mildly rude to you.
52. People ask you if you really eat dog
53.You have never seen your parents kiss each other
54. Sleeping on the floor is nothing new
55.You have giant 15 pound blankets in your house with strange designs
56.Your parents yell your korean name REALLY loud in public places.
57.At least one person in your family wears glasses
58.You have a 40 lb. Bag of rice in your pantry.
59.If you're a guy; youre had a bowl haircut in one part in your life.
60.Your parents always compare you with other kids.
61.You've had to sit through karaoke videos with ugly asian women attempting to dance in a beach, temple, park, etc.
62.Piles of shoes make it hard to open the front and back doors.
63.No one in your family has natural eye lids
64.Your parents insist you marry within your race
65.Your parents never told you about the birds and the bees
66.You parents alwasy scream at the top of their lungs into the fast food intercom
67.When your parents go over other parent's house they always bring a box of fruit that is ripe in that season
68.You would smile but your eyes disappear
69.You always take off your shoes when enter a house
70.You are immune to the toxic Kimchi smell
71.When your non-asian friends open your fridge, they fly back 10 feet from the smell.
72.Whenever guests leave you have to go otuside with them and bow like a million times until you cant see their car anymore
73.You can tell the differences between other asian races
74.You always talk about how your going to fix up your car but it never happens
75.You have a 75% chance of marrying someone with the last name, Lee or Kim

Please don't flame me on some of the "ways" i did not make this up.