Boarding School, ...aaahhhh!! Options

[laurie_]

[i don't know if this is in the right forum or not]

Soo this is my freshmen year at a private boarding school in oregon (i previously went to an international private school in hong kong), so this was a big change for me, trying to adapt, adjust... etc. Ugh. I don't even know how to begin... But i guess i feel as if i don't fit in. Since it's a small private school, people are very protected, and certain things they do really piss me off (like brag about how "cool" hookah is). I hated it so much the first few months that I used to complain so so so much until i did the SSAT again and am now applying to two other schools. I would come home (or back to my dorm room) some days and feel absolutely helpless, depressed. I would cry and cry until I think somebody's coming. It's not that i cry because of the people or particular things that happen... it's not like i get bullied or anything. But sometimes people are so hurtful whether intentionally or not so many times to me per day (to other ppl too) that i break down by the end of the day. Then at other times I feel like i've adapted really well and feel really comfortable around my friends. There are times when I miss home and would give anything to be back home.. to be able to go out every day... have my maid clean my room... have my driver drive me places w/o having to pay for cab fare, etc. Idk... when people ask me, i can't even explain to them why i dislike this school so much, and i've been to the counselors office twice ( i think) once because of things that immature classmates have done to some of our class projects (im on class board) and once because of how aloof i feel to everyone else. It's not like i havent made friends here, i've made some wonderful friends, but theres not really anyone i'd die for. but this is a really really good boarding school (on the top 20 national rank) and im worried that if i do switch schools it'll be the same or probably worse.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?? 4 years here.. I dont know what i'd do. and i cant go back to HK because my mom decided that if i'd left already i shouldn't turn back...