Help ?, It might sound lame. Options

[bby cakesx]

Okay okay. I need help. Usually, I'm not the kind of girl that's up for love and cry over a broken heart. My friends know that I hate HATE listening about their boy problems like 'Why doesn't he like me?!?!?'. If someone breaks my heart, I would be the person that would be like 'oh well' and move on. Yet, if that's my philosophy, why can't I get over this?

A few months ago I met this guy from his best friend. His best friend had a crush on me, but I had a crush on him. In the end, he asked me out. I said yes. We went out secretly because if his best friend found out, it wouldn't be pretty. Plus, I'm not the kind of girl that shows off her girlfriend. We went out for 2 months and a few weeks, and he ended because he was scared that his best friend would find out. I was heartbroken and cried for like three hours straight. A week later, his friend got over me and we started to go out again. The next week, I ended it. It didn't feel the same. Like our feelings faded. At the time, it was fine. I was okay & thought I moved on. A few days ago, I thought about the times we were together. Now I completely miss him. I can't ask him out again because, I know he's already fallen for another girl. I can't get him out of my head. Or the times we were together. I definately want to move on, because I know if I keep thinking about it.. I'm going to get hurt more. Yet, I can't.
Help ? I can't go to my friends or family because remember it was a secret relationship.
I know. It's lame. It annoys me too.
Yes, I know. It's my fault that I let him go. Yadadada... at the time, it felt nessessary.
Thanks<3