Obsession |
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 Feb 6 2007, 11:08 PM
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#1
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CHYEAAHHH MAN  Group: Member Posts: 1,255 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 168,013  |
I don't have the opportunity as everyone else does? I strive to do so much for you, but you don't seem to realize it do you. These words that I speak, they aren't just words. These are my very heart and soul spilling out trying to express that this isn't just a desire. It's a need. A craving. A necessity. Notice me. Look at me. I try, I really do to get over you, but I've accepted you, now you need to accept me. Embrace me. Love me. Take me. As long as it's about you and me, I don't really care.
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Feb 6 2007, 11:17 PM
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#2
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Eternal Syn Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000 |
interesting piece. only thing that bugged me was that there should've been a question mark at the end of the first sentence, but then again i'm nitpicky so don't pay much attention to that. but good job though
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Feb 8 2007, 07:10 PM
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#3
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 164 Joined: Oct 2006 Member No: 470,731 |
^ agreed, it's lovely
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Mar 16 2007, 06:51 AM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 280 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 436,368 |
its well written.
but yeah some ends would need " ?" bc there are some questions. but nice poem. i kinda relate to it=] well done. |
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