Unstable. Options

[lKVNiiKINKYl]

These feelings just continue to bottle up inside of me. I don't know whether I should acknowledge them, or to throw them away completely and deny it. I am having so many problems and it is becoming so difficult. Anyone who has first generation asian parents probably know the bs that I have to put up with and anyone who's openly gay and lives with discrimination in their own house, let alone their own school knows what I'm going through. I'm trying to be happy, I really am, but it's not working out too well. I am put on hold on all of the colleges I've applied to and I am becoming so neurotic at home. I've done things I truly regret and I am wondering how could any of my life get any better? I've become a workaholic. Working all hours just to get away from people who think they have known me for so long. People change. Get over it. I'm not the same person I used to be so don't sit there pretending to know me inside and out. These are the people I despise because they aren't able to put themselves in other people's shoes. I have been through hell and back. I've loved and hated more than anyone else. I've lie in the grass telling myself that people have it worse. I look in the mirror and wonder why I'm not perfect. I look around and all I see is the world moving past me. I am unstable.