My Secret, i have a secret. a secret that could destroy me. Options

[elaboratedream]

I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am a classmate. I live. I breathe. I love. And I have a secret. A secret that could destroy me. A secret that shouldn’t have to be a secret at all.

Do you hear that? It’s silence. It’s the sound of millions who are too afraid to voice their secrets aloud. They, like me, have been silenced by the intolerance.
I admit there have been plenty of times when I myself have remained silent. When I just sat back and watched as my classmates were torn apart by their peers over something they couldn’t control. All because I’m too afraid that someone will figure out my secret.
I don’t want to be afraid anymore.
But I am. I’m terrified of these feelings, I’m terrified of what they mean, I’m terrified that someone will find out… I’m just terrified.
And I know there’s only one way to end this fear. I can’t keep this a secret any longer. I can’t live this lie any longer. I have to tell them.
But I’m so afraid… telling them would be admitting it myself. And I don’t know if I could handle that. I still cling to the hope that I’m wrong. That I’m just confused. That it’s just a phase. I don’t want to be this. I don’t want to be different. I don’t want to have this secret.
But I do.
I’ve read about all these teens with secrets like mine who were kicked out of their homes because of it. Disowned by their parents, they struggle to support themselves. Their lives are ruined because they told their parents the truth.
Would my parents do that? I mean, I know they wouldn’t be happy, but would they really go so far as to kick me out?
I just don’t know… I’m so scared.
And what about my friends? I hear them talking about people like me all the time. I don’t think they realize how cruel they can be. They justify their hatred so many ways. They say it’s unnatural. That it’s a sin. That it’s disgusting and wrong. But they’ve known me so long… surely this won’t change their opinion of me. I mean, I’m their friend.
My secret doesn’t define me.
Why do I have to go through this? Why do I have to have this secret? What did I do to deserve this??
I pray to God each night that this curse be lifted from me.
But my prayer is never answered.
I guess all that’s left is to come to terms with it.
And the first step is to tell them.

“Mom… Dad… Do you love me? [pause] And would you still love me if I had a birth defect or if I was in some way… different from everyone else?”
[pause]
“Well, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you…”

I am a daughter. A daughter that has been disowned by her parents. I am a sister. A sister who is hated by her siblings because they found out the truth. I am a friend. A friend to those who will never accept me. I am a classmate. A classmate who is hated, feared, and harassed by her peers because of something she cannot control. I live. I breathe. I love. And I am not alone.