meh. Options

[lovescream]

i have a problem with my family. i think the cause might be my attitude, but i'm really starting to think it's both that and my mom's boyfriend.

they have been dating for about 4-5 years. they have lived together for only about a year now. arrrgh. it's just that.. one minute he can be so nice and spoil me, but the next, he gets me so f**king pissed that i can't even f**king handle what comes out of my mouth.

yeah. he also physically abuses me sometimes. he's done it probably about three or four times in the past 4 years. still, they are painful memories because he said some hurtful things and gave me a lot of f**king bruises. i know it could have been worse, and thank goodness it wasn't.

what pisses me off even more is that my mother had no clue what was going on in any of these fights i had with him. he once threw me out of the house. she came in to get me in about fifteen minutes later. the first f**king thing she asks me was not "are you okay? what happened?" but instead "WHERE DID YOU LEARN HOW TO CURSE LIKE THAT, YOUNG LADY?!!"

jesus f**king christ, mother. jesus.
i sometimes think he has changed her.
[i know that we don't talk like a mother and daughter should conversate.. but she is more than clueless. her best friend knows more about me than SHE does.]

he also compares me to my own grandmother. he always says i'm exactly like her. this pisses me off so damn much because i hate my grandma (it's just not me in the family either; everyone who had lived with her feels the same way). i'm not like her in any way. i know it, even my mom says so. it's just him thinking that.

errm yeah. point is.. i have a problem. i don't know what to do and what's been causing me to be so pissed off. i think it's my mom's bf. i want to tell her to break up with him, but she seems to love him so much, i can't do that to her. she even once asked me if she could marry him. i have to draw the line there.

well.. i'm just so confused and don't know what to do. blehh. i also feel like i need a therapist because i always keep my feelings about him and my family bottled up.


sorry that was so long. =\

[*This Confession*]

Okay, this guy kind of sounds like my dad. He can be so nice one minute and then completely change with the next.

Also if he physically abuses you and hurts you in a verbal and/or physical way then you need to tell someone. Don't be afraid to do so.

http://www.therapistfinder.net/Child-Abuse...Abuse-Laws.html

My mother tried putting charges on my dad for child abuse so really if you have someone come to you about it from child services they just ask you this page of questions and you tell them the truth and they record it down, if the problem isnt really serious then the person that asked all the questions will come see you like once a month for a little while and just ask how things have been.

I'm sure your mother has changed some, and you know you have to remember that everyone is human and they make mistakes. If you want to tell your mother what you think and stuff and you don't want to talk to her face to face about it because she may like just ignore you or not believe you. Write her a letter about it and tell her how you feel and explain how shes changed and how this guy is affecting her. I mean they have been together for a while so its probably a little predictable for her to change, but if she goes to the point of neglecting you then I don't think its exactly a healthy relationship if its going that far to change her.

If you don't like being compared to other people tell him that, Tell him you like to be your own individual and you don't appreciate him comparing you to everyone else. If he doesn't stop start comparing him to people he hates. [Yea you may not want to do that, but do unto others as you would want them do upto you] and by the sounds of it he wants you to do that. And if he doesnt then he needs to go back to elementary school and learn the basic rules of life.



Overall deary, if you really want to get all of this out and open and want her to understand you then you need to speak up. I don't think your mother and her boyfriend should get married now though, not with how its affecting you. I mean you've been with your mother longer then him, you should have a better relationship with her.


I keep all my feelings bottled up as well, probably a lot worse than you do. Just remember also thats theres a brighter side to everything.


I wish you the best as well

[OhMyAnniee]

if your mom's best friend knows more about you, talk to her. tell her to try to have a convo with your mom & to set your mom's perspective straight about her boyfriend and your relationship. it's bad to keep it all bottled up because you end up getting yourself into even worse conditions

[LadyXTor]

Try to talk to your mother when her boyfriend is around so you're not all worked up. Speak calmly and make her realize that she needs to step up as a mother and make sure her boyfriend doesn't physically harm her child.

[smileeetina]

You really need to let your mom know your feelings about this. Cause one day that bottle that your carrying all your feelings in will explode and your just gonna go off on your mom. But it's easier to just let her know in a calm and simple way. If I were you, I'd write a letter to her and leave it on her dresser or bed, even though talking to her face to face is the right way to handle it. I hope you figure out what you really want to do. Goodluck (:

[alysaphobia]

k, i think with the words 'physical abuse' you know the relationship you and your mom's boyfriend have is not okay. no matter how much your mother loves her boyfriend, i'm sure her own daughter would be more important to her.

like everybody else said. talk to your mom. alone. tell her how you feel about the current situation and about the times he's hit you/thrown you out of the house. this man has no right to harm you at all. the sooner you speak up the better.


good luck dear.

[Smoogrish]

Okay, well first off, your mom's boyfriend is a jerk.

And physical abuse is a serious no-no. TELL YOUR MOM. Even if you don't think she cares about you, tell her. Even the worst mom (well I hope) should care a teeny tiny bit about whether or not her new boyfriend has been abusing you. And if that doesn't work, tell her people can get arrested and thrown in jail for stuff like that. It's not the greatest thing to do to your mom, but hey. You have a right to a good family as well.

[expoised]

Wait, so what do you mean by physical abuse? Do you provoke him? Does he see himself as your father and "punishes" you? Because if that's the case, I don't think it's fair for you to say that he abuses you. I mean, getting into a fight and him just beating you are two completely different things.

If he's such a problem, just tell your mom how you feel about him. But based on what I'm getting out of what you wrote, you're not exactly an angel, either. Maybe you should put more of an effort to be civil with him and NOT curse at him. I think you'll find people get along better when they don't constantly mouth off at each other.

Then again, this might not be the case and he might have completely unfounded reasons for fighting with you. Whatever.

[Trinie]

you definitely to have a talk with your mom hun.... she ahsnt seen any of your bruises at all???

[hillix]

^ lol that`s what i was thinking. [how could she not see your bruises?]

well, it`s not good to keep things bottled up inside. try talking to your mom or any other family member that you trust very much.

[you stupid fag]

Haha, you dipshit.

[loveTWOhateTWO]

WWwow, this is really sad. Well, have you told any of this to your mom? That's always a good place to start. Tell her what's been going on between you and her boyfriend. It can be hard to get your emotions out, but you gotta do it sometime or another. And if it's too hard to do in person, you could write her a note or something. That always helps me get things out.

I mean, even if saying that you don't want them to be together anymore makes it harder on everyone, it's better that you get it out, so you can deal with that, too. Problems don't go away if you let them sit there.

[lovescream]

you definitely to have a talk with your mom hun.... she ahsnt seen any of your bruises at all???

they're hidden from clothes. o.o

and.. yeah. i'm gonna talk to my mom about it. sooon.