Depressed little bro about our mom's death.., ..help please... Options

[Blue apple]

Hi..

well i've got two older brothers and a younger one, Hugh.He's 8 years old.
Our mum died when she gave birth to Hugh.. Everyone,as you can imagine was very sad at first.. then we got used to it and we had Hugh so it felt like mum left Hugh instead of her..I was 6 years old my brother Tommy was 10 and Ross(my oldest brother) was 12..

I love my brothers very much and they love me too..We all love very much Hugh and i feel so sorry he never had the chance to meet mum..
the thing is that yesterday, a kid from Hugh's class came to our house to play w/ Hugh..
Johny saw some photos of mum in the livin room and he started all these questions about our mum's death and all..Ross told him a bit so he would stop asking as it was getting very annoying and depressing but then Johnny started laughing and said some really stupid things like: "so you killed your mum" etc.. Tommy got very angry and took Johnny back to his home but when he came back he found Hugh crying and shouting and he was so angry that told him some things he shouldn't have said.. he was like "now shut up Hugh coz you know if it hadn't been you mum would still be here with us.SHUT UP!IT'S YOUR FAULT!"

And then Tommy started crying.. Hugh went to bed but since yesterday he doesn't speak at all. He's been very quiet and he spent the whole morning in his room without talking to us..i know he's been crying but he's locked the door..

Yesterday night i didn't know what to do..i was so confused that when i saw Tommy shouting and then crying and I hugged him and we slept on the couch..he was very upset..He is very depressed coz right after he said those horrible things to Hugh he regretted it and he cried even more..

i know he still misss mum very much..
I don't know what to do to help both my brothers.. Tommy tried to talk to Hugh but he doesn't wannna listen to us.. Plus our dad will come back in three weeks..

Sorry 4 this huge post but I need your help guys..
love
-Alyssa

[datass]

I guess you'll have to wait till Hugh is not as sad before you can talk to him. Tell him that it wasn't his fault for your mom's death.

[*wind&fire*]

i think you should tell your brother that his mum would have wanted him to be happy and that she wanted it to be this way and keep on reminding him of everyone that he has now and how much they love him

[cheri_pi]

I would explain to Hugh that it's definitely not his fault at ALL. That would be a horrible thing for him to think, so you have to convince him that it's not true.
Tell him Tommy was just frustrated and sad.
Also, tell Tommy not to say that to Hugh, and I think Hugh should stay away from that "friend".

[*Uronacid*]

Holy crap... someone owes hugh an appology, and you have to talk to him. He's young... he could really take that seriously, and end up believing that stuff as he grows up. It's so unhealthy for an 8 year old to be told something like that. He may feel like you guys would rather him be dead. You need to convince him that it's not true. You need to convince him that it isn't his fault, or he will just end up feeling worthless for a large portion of his life.

[Blue apple]

^ Josh, i know we owe him an apology..Actually Tommy who said all this. But Hugh doesn't let us in his room he's locked the door and he hasn't opened it since yesterday..I'm so worried, i mean we pass him food and he won't take it nad u know Tommy sleeps outside his door and apologises all the time and sits there and talks to him but we take no response..
Im so worried. My oldest bro Ross tries to unlock it but he can't..I reall worry, what should I do?

plus our father is not here he'sParis with his company and he''ll return in three weeks..

guys,help plz

-Alyssa

[mznikki]

First off I'd like to say I'm sorry about the loss of your mom, and that I know how you feel in a way, because my little brother 8 when my mom died, and I was 13. We lost our mom in the September 11 terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center. Right after the tragedy I went into denial and my brother became depressed and angry all the time. He never wanted to talk to anyone, and at one day a few days after 9-11 I had gotten so upset I had told my brother that he had jinxed her, because one week before 9-11 my brother had cried out of no where for 3 days straight begging my mom not to die early one week later it was 9-11 and unfortunately she had gone to heaven early. I had been frustrated and angry about everything and took it out on my brother unconciously. I had felt horrible as your brother, Tommy, did. I appologized later that night but my brother still didn't talk to me. A few days later he forgave me and since then we'd discuss the good times we had with her or well in your case you should talk to him about how your mother was and how you remember her and that it isn't his fault. it was her time, and God had her fate already planed out, it sucks i know but that's how life is. (i'm sorry if you don't want to hear this i didn't like hearing it until i really realized the meaning of it) everything in life happens for a reason and it is up to you to either do something about it or dwell upon it. you can't blame yourself for things like these, tell your brother that, and that his friend was being really stupid and shouldn't have been so insensitive. things will get better no matter how bad everything seems to be there can be worse, trust me. i know. i hope this helps you. god bless.

[*This Confession*]

Have you tried just taking the door off completely?

My friend slammed the door and locked it when something bad happened and they just came and took the door off...

[*Uronacid*]

^ Josh, i know we owe him an apology..Actually Tommy who said all this. But Hugh doesn't let us in his room he's locked the door and he hasn't opened it since yesterday..I'm so worried, i mean we pass him food and he won't take it nad u know Tommy sleeps outside his door and apologises all the time and sits there and talks to him but we take no response..
Im so worried. My oldest bro Ross tries to unlock it but he can't..I reall worry, what should I do?

plus our father is not here he'sParis with his company and he''ll return in three weeks..

guys,help plz

-Alyssa

Break the f**king door down... he's extremely depressed... don't leave the door closed... he could hurt himself.... :/

[*This Confession*]

Listen to Josh, hes so worried about this kid. I just had to tell him to not talk to me about on the phone because he'll go on and on and on....

[Dr. Phil]

Dr. Phil recommends the best thing to do for now is to just let the kid be. Dr. Phil thinks if you keep on showing interest, the kid will just continue locking himself in the room. Give him some to himself, cool the heat down, and some time to think on his own. When he feels it's alright, he will eventually come out on his own, whether it is because he is hungry, need to urinate, or etc.

However, you can try talking to him once the boy comes out. Explain to him it's a horrible and unfortunate thing your mother had to pass away, but you are happy to have him here and that it's not his fault at all.

In the meantime, Dr. Phil recommends you talk to the older brother and carefully explain to him how seriously he can affect and hurt the youngest kid's emotions.

Dr. Phil recommends you try to lighten up the mood by renting a movie and watching it together as a family!