one of those bestfriend vs boyfriend things Options

[raenbow*]

I have been mostly an observer on createblog... reading topics and thinking how it was more like a story to me. Never felt how real everything was and how I would be desperate for help too someday. I am in incredible pain because I'm a senior in HS and my boyfriend and bestfriend (guy) left for college. I am afraid that I am falling very very hard for my bestfriend. I felt worse to see my bestfriend leave for college....I never thought I could do that to someone, especially my boyfriend who I have been dating for quite a while. My bestfriend is the greatest person I have ever met in my entire life and hes hanging in there, waiting for me. I am certain he did not influence me into liking him, and my boyfriend is a great guy. My boyfriend is very attatched to me and I am scared that hes going to do somthing stupid/harmful if I go around this the wrong way. I still love him on a certain level and I always live. My bf invested so much time and effort and stuff in me... I am letting him down. He just doesn't give me the heartache when I'm away from him... and just that feeling, you know? My bestfriend I could see marrying (im not saying i will..but hes just so great) but I dont want to screw anything up now either. I am going to talk to some of my friends.. but I'm not ready yet because I have to decide who knows the situation the best, and its hard because they all know my bf and some are really close to him. I hate knowing that I enjoy my bestfriend's hugs more than my bf's. i feel like such a jerk.

Basically... I need advice on talking to my friends, talking to my bf and my bestfriend, what to do... anything i guess. All I know is that I have to tell the two of them something and that its only fair...

[_sarcastic_]

you've gotta sort out which guy you like more.
don't drag your friends in this if you don't really need to, it's just going to cause more drama

[OhMyAnniee]

^ i agree.
BUT i think that you need to tell you friends. not neccessarily your FRIENDS but just a friend, suggesting your best girl friend. if you decide to end it with your boyfriend, don't tell him it's because there's someone else. but before you do that, i suggest talking to your bestfriend first. ask him if there's a future for you two. but most of all, do you really think you can handle being away from either one of them? i mean like, they're in college.

[raenbow*]

yeah exactly.. i dont wanna just leave my bf and then have a horrible relationship w/ my bestfriend

[RxCore]

i say that you kinda just go on a break from both of them. take some time to clear your head and maybe then you'll be able to decipher what you want to do.

[*suddenly she*]

yeah exactly.. i dont wanna just leave my bf and then have a horrible relationship w/ my bestfriend

that's just a chance you have to take.
i don't really know what to say to you. i haven't ever been in a position like that i suppose i'm mentally incapable of seeing my friends as anyone other than a friend.

it sounds to me that you still care about your boyfriend, but he doesn't have that "special place" in your brain anymore. unlike what hardxcorel0ver said though, don't keep something like that from your boyfriend, or soon-to-be ex. when he finds out, it'll depress him more because you broke up with him and didn't think he'd be able to handle the other part.

in the end, consider this.. though you probably already have. if you end up with your best friend and lose him later, you lose him as the best friend and the boyfriend. if you don't see your boyfriend in the same place you saw him before, then don't drag it on.

it doesn't matter if you can picture getting married with him, anyone with an imagination can.
good luck.

[raenbow*]

i kinda feel that with both of them.. id always could be "just friends"
my bf is still pretty close w/ his ex gf and my bestfriend is with the majority (i only know of like 2 that he doesnt talk to)

[lyin_in_wait]

well take a step back and realize who you want. if you break up with your boyfriend are you sure your best friend will want a relationship? relationships end. some people just fall out of love, and it seems like this one has run its course. it happens, but life does go on. just make sure your doing it for you and not because your "changing men"

[pinayprincess]

I am certain he did not influence me into liking him, and my boyfriend is a great guy. My boyfriend is very attatched to me and I am scared that hes going to do somthing stupid/harmful if I go around this the wrong way.

yeah... i WAS going through the same thing, only the guy wasnt my best friend, though he was something like one.... i got myself out b/c.. well me and the other guy got distant, plus giving up a chance right in front of me [my boyfriend]? would be horrible...i mean hes nice and doesnt treat me bad... i guess you have to look at it if you want to throw what you already have w/ ur bf or start a new one w/ your bestfriend.....

[raenbow*]

if you break up with your boyfriend are you sure your best friend will want a relationship?

i am 99.999999% sure that my best friend wants a relationship