"The Closet" 2006, Movie we're working on Options

[*My Cinderella.*]

Okay so maybe this won't be a famous movie, but we're just doing it for fun. I have 2 scenes from this movie so far and I need some advice and feedback.

Tell me what you think:

The Closet

Cast: (Listed in order of appearances)
Nancy Yang - Crystal
Jane Wishashan - Dylan
Jessica Nolasco - Samantha
Jan Michael Herrera - Mr. Gonzalez

Scene 1: Crystal and Dylan

[Coughing is heard as you see a black screen. The screen immediately cuts to a scene, in which you see/hear Dylan (Jane) throwing up and coughing continuously in the bathroom. Crystal (Nancy) watches closely, glaring at her. Camera zooms in on an empty bottle next to Dylan labeled rubbing alcohol.]

Crystal: Yeah, you better drink it all.

[Dylan exhaustingly looks up at her mom, coughing. She then turns back to the toilet.]

Crystal: Oh, suck it up. You’ve drunk worse.

[Throws empty bottle at Dylan.]

Crystal: I’m all out of f**king crystal.

Dylan: [Still coughing] Good--that stuff was horrible.

Crystal: Don’t try to be such a smartass, you good for nothing brat.

[Crystal grabs Dylan by her hair as she drags her out onto the hallway and into the closet. Dylan tries to escape, but Crystal closes the closet door on her. Scene fades away as “The Closet” comes up in big bold letter. The Cast’s names follow.]

Scene 1 – Part 2: Back to school

Sam: Are you alright?

Dylan: mmm…I guess. I’m a bit tired, but I’m fine.

[Dylan’s bruises are visible and it’s obvious to see that she didn’t get much sleep. Sam shakes her head as she sees the wounds. Dylan notices this.]

Dylan: Don’t worry about me. I’d go to school any day just to get away from that witch.

[Dylan tries to give a comforting smile, but Sam just stares at her. They continue to walk in silence. A short while after, Sam takes a piece of paper out of her pocket and hands it to Dylan.]

Dylan: Aw. What’s this? You drew something for me?

Sam: [Nods] …Yes

Dylan: [Takes paper] Alright, let’s take a look.

[Camera switches to focus on the drawing Sam has handed to Dylan. It shows their mom behind bars as Dylan and Sam are on the right with a man, who is apparently their father. Dylan’s smile fades for just a short second. She glances over at Sam, then back at the paper. Her smile slowly recovers and she hugs Sam.]

Dylan: Thanks, buddy.

[Dylan folds up the drawing and puts it safely away in her backpack.]

[A bell is heard as Dylan and Sam comes out of the school. Dylan takes out a strange bottle. Sam sees this immediately, but doesn’t do anything to stop it. Again, she stares at Dylan.]

Dylan: Mom told me to drink it. She told me it would make my headache go away.

[Dylan brings the bottle up to her nose but coughs at the stench of it. She attempts to drink it again. She begins coughing. Sam stares at her in sadness, they stop walking. Dylan gets dizzy and nearly falls on Sam.]

Sam: Dylan…?

[Dylan keeps coughing and eventually drops the bottle. Sam stares at Dylan, turns to check the label on the bottle. Sam turns back to see that Dylan has passed out. Sam is shocked. She looks around for help. Scene fades.]

Scene 2: Mr. Gonzalez

[Knock on the door. Crystal opens up as she surprisingly greets her special guests.]

Crystal: Well, what do we have here?

Mr. Gonzalez: Ma’am. These are your children, am I correct?

Crystal: Yes, they are. Did they cause any problems?

Mr. Gonzalez: Well, not quite. You see, I was walking in the neighborhood when I saw this young lady here faint!

[Mr. Gonzalez Looks at Dylan]

Mr. Gonzalez: You are a girl right…?

[Dylan glares at the social worker.]

Crystal: [Speaking dramatically] FAINT? My little girl fainted?!

Mr. Gonzalez: Yes, and I saw the problem. It was a drink that… well… most KIDS shouldn’t be drinking.

[Mr. Gonzalez moves closer to Crystal.]

Mr. Gonzalez: I’m not sure what it was exactly…but it seemed to be a mix of rubbing alcohol and perfume.

Crystal: What? Alcohol? Oh no. That doesn’t sound like my Dylan-kins at ALL.

[Crystal eyes both Dylan and Sam.]

Mr. Gonzalez: Oh, I had a feeling they wouldn’t be drinking anything like this. That’s why I wanted to let you know that before she fainted, I overheard them discussing about how their “mother” gave … Dylan, was it to “cure” this headache of yours?

Crystal: [Her expression changes] …What are you implying?

Mr. Gonzalez: Well, I’m not exactly implying anything, but I just wanted to say that it’s illegal to give a child any kind of drink like this. I hope you know that.

Crystal: Oh, but of course! I have never given any kind of alcohol to my child whatsoever.

[At which point, Dylan snickers. Sam nudges her in the elbow.]

Crystal: She must have gotten it off the street somewhere. You know how kids are.

[Glares at Dylan]

Mr. Gonzalez: Yes, I know.

Crystal: Well then, I’ll just take my children inside now. Take car-

[Crystal tries to close the door on the social worker.]

Mr. Gonzalez: HOWEVER, still, I want to make sure that there is nothing strange going on in this household. Therefore, I want to set up a meeting for tomorrow. I’ll be here around 6 to eat dinner with your family, just to make sure everything is normal. You ARE okay with that, aren’t you Mrs.…?

Crystal: Williams. And no. That won’t be a problem at all.

Mr. Gonzalez: Okay then, see you then Mrs. Williams.

[Mr. Gonzalez turns to leave.]

Mr. Gonzalez: Oh and Dylan?

[Dylan looks up]

Mr. Gonzalez: Take care of yourself okay?

[Dylan nods her head]

Mr. Gonzalez: Well, I’ll be going now. Nice to meet you and sorry for the sudden interruption.

Crystal: [Laughs] Oh no problem at all. Goodbye.
Come in girls!

[The girls share looks but run inside anyway. Crystal closes the door and immediately frowns.]

Scene 2 – Part 2: The Beating

Crystal: Oh so I give you a little gift for school and you bring home a complete stranger?

[Crystal notices that the girls are gone.]

Crystal: [Laughs] You want to play a little game of hide-and-seek now, don’t you? I LOVE this game.

[The camera follows as Dylan hides under Sam’s bed.]

Crystal: Don’t you know already? You could run, but you CAN’T HIDE! GET OUT HERE NOW!

[Crystal goes up the stairs into Sam’s room.]

Crystal: You know what ELSE bothers me, the fact that I SPECIFICALLY told you to tell anybody that YOU found these things on your own, if they were to ask. But no! Do you EVER listen to me?

[Looks around her room and notices Dylan’s feet are sticking out. She laughs mockingly.]

Crystal: [Laughs] You were never really good at this game, you know Dylan?

[She drags her out by their feet. Dylan screams in fear as she tries to escape, but Crystal catches her by the collar. Crystal notices that Samantha is watching from the doorway.]

Crystal: Samantha. Go and play or whatever you damn kids do these days.

[Sam glares at Crystal but obeys and leaves the room]

Crystal: What did I ever do to deserve a disgusting bitch like you? [Dramatic pause] You ruined my f**king life.

[Crystal grabs textbook from desk.]

Crystal: You know. Everything would’ve been fine if you would’ve kept your big mouth shut, instead of having some retard interfere with our BEAUTIFUL DAMN LIVES!

[Crystal throws the textbook at Dylan.]

Crystal: All I ever wanted was for you to just LISTEN TO ME! But it seems as if you can’t even do THAT for me, and now, you’re gonna pay.

[Crystal grabs Dylan and throws her in the closet. Takes out a key and locks it.]

Crystal: And I’m just making sure you know that you’re not getting ANY food tonight! NOT EVEN A PIECE OF f**king BREAD!

[Crystal kicks the door in anger. Camera switches to Dylan’s point of view, the room is dark and Dylan rocking with her hands around her knees. Camera switches back to Crystal storming out into the hallway where Sam is coloring. As Sam looks up, Crystal kicks the coloring book angrily. Sam springs up in shock.]