GROWINGG .. up and understanding friendship, ...the dayS Options

[demolished]

Through many years passed in life, I always thought friends were totally pointless. I didn’t understand the meaning of friends at all. I was alone and bored as always. The days in my kindergarten years made an impact on me. I was only a lonely child who tried to make a friend on the first day of school. Sadly, this dude didn’t care about me. He suddenly ran off to play with other toddlers. I even asked him, “can I play, please?” many time. He didn’t care at all.

At that foolish point of my childhood, I thought I could just be alone. I no longer care about making friends or tried hanging out with them. Every recess, I sat down, eating, and did nothing. I was satisfied with it. Why? Friendships mean nothing to me which made me antisocial.

Through the years, I became a pessimistic person who thinks of negative things. I thought everyone’s worthless.

I had a horrible start in my childhood. My family made me really stupid and discourages me big time. “ you’re stupid Steven”, “all Steven’s are so stupid”, “ha-ha you’re going to fail school”, “you’re a dumbass”, “you’re never go to college”, “Steven is going to fail his mission project”, “ you’re pointless”, “ you’re a loser”, and “shut the f**k up, man”.

With all that negative influence and thoughts enter in my head, I became very self-conscious about myself. I avoid many things that I should be doing. The only fun thing was school teacher. That’s their job as an elementary school staff, right?

When I hit 4th grade and moved to a new school. Life was better. I made only one friend. Haha. He was just like me, a loner. Fascinating, eh? I was really really really glad to make at least a friend but … I took disadvantage of him. As I mention, I always thought friends were totally pointless and I don’t understand the meaning of friendship.

He was like my best friend until we hit 7th grade. The age when puberty occurred, mood swings happens and stupidity wins. We separated because fight over something stupid that he did. He copy and paste my entire friend’s screenames from the AIM profile username tracker (it was known as, subprofile.com). I was really surprise and shocked.
Then, we stop hanging out. I left him alone all by himself. He was too different for me. He wasn’t very open to new things. I was totally the opposite of him. We used to be the same. I guessed, he never grew his personality and lifestyle.

Anyways, I hanged out with another group of friends … crappy friends. In 8th grade, I wasn’t involved with them anymore. I was involved with certain mature friends in ELD class (English language development). I began to take friendship seriously. I see everyone having such a great time with friends that made them happy. I read people’s xanga, they loved their best friend and all that junkies.

I admired these people. Somehow, I felt, “they were better than me, having a better time then I did” … and I end up, being depressed, suffering, and sadistic about everything. I felt truly alone and crying at home.

Until I hit my freshman year. THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE ! I met more people, got to know them more, and became better friends with very old classmate. Basically, I was extremely open to many people. They were pretty dam cool and awesome. i hanged out ... ALOT, well, not thaaaat much.


i was happier. i finally understand what was friendship. i thought about them too. We did the most stupid things ever, went out to eat, holiday party, enjoy pissing off an adults, weird things, we were very immature but we had a lot of fun.


At the end, i was proud of myself. I stay away and lost contact with all my shitty friends. i tried my best to involve with people … then I became really good friends with them. it was really hard. it took alot of guts and courage to get what i desired the most.




When did you start appreciating friends ALOT? tell us your story!

[slipper]

I actually enjoyed reading this. I'm thinking this would be a pretty good book.

Well. Kindergarten, I was the new girl. Yah, we all were, but I started later than the other kids, just came from the Philippines, & hardly spoke any good english. I remember my first day of school. I cried & the VP's son had to carry me to my class, pretty embarrasing. But I made a few friends. 1st through 3rd grade was pretty alright, I made more friends. No one really close though, we just played at school. They were mostly in my advisory class. My 4th grade year changed. I had new people in adv class & became really shy & reclusive. Though I still managed to play with a select few. 5th grade was better & I was a little happier.

Intermediate was different. The first couple of weeks in 6th grade was hell for me. I remember standing by myself in recess & feeling really down with a smile plastered on my face. Then I started talking to this one girl, who was in my EVERY class. We suddenly hit it off. I hit it off with other kids from the other elem schools, & I still was friends with the kids from my elem school, but this one girl was different. I was never close to a friend like this before & I actually felt really happy. I guess that's when I started appreciating my friends ALOT. I remember she told me one time, she saw me when we were in Kinder (she was in a diff adv class). She said I was always holding my moms hand before the bell to start school rang. For some reason that made me really happy, because she remembered me from long ago. Here's the sad part, 7th grade, she suddenly disappeared. She stopped going to school, & I NEVER SAW HER nor HEARD FROM HER EVER AGAIN. Yah, I was sad & dissapointed, but I had made closer friends with others. I will miss her & ask why the hell she just disappeared without telling anyone. A few of my friends & I always wondered what happened to her. Yes, I tried to call the number she gave me that was supposed to be her home phone number, but no one ever answered. Such a sad thing. The next years went with a bang though, making & having closer friends. I was really happy but I will always miss that one girl.

Now, I have 2 best friends now & others. I'm as happy as I can be. We plan to take trips together after we graduate this next school year (!!) & go to Vegas when we're 21. We just made a pack about it yesterday.

Wow, first time replying something this long.

[nyctophiliac]

shouldn't this be in relationships? O_o
to tell you the truth, I don't think I've ever really appreciated my so called "friends". I'm a loner I guess, but I don't really mind.

[jue]

I enojoyed reading that (:

Hmm, for me, When i was in kindegarten and elementry school i didn't really have much friends. I would just talk to the classmates and what not but like not really hang out with them. In school, school i would usually hang out with this one girl, but outside of school it was like we didn't even know each other. Before 6th grade came, I would stay home every single weekend and not hang out at all. I had no social life. Every day it was Wake up, go to school, come home, eat, do hw and sleep. But when 6th grade came around, it was when i really started hanging out and getting real friends. I met these 3 girls and it was awesome. But then during that time, I realized that having friends also meant having alot of drama. There was alot of talking behind each others backs and stuff. But at the end things cleared up. When 6th grade ended, one of the girls had to move, so I sorta lost contact with her. And then there were 2 left. In 7th grade, things were going normally. It would be me and girl one and girl two. [I don't wanna name names.] During 7th grade, i got really close with my new friends. One of my friends from kindegarten came to the school that i was in, and we re-uinited sorta. I also met another friend. Still, there was alot of drama and such. Soon, one of them didn't hang out with us much anymore, so we lost touch. Soon 8th grade came around the corner, and me and one of my friend from 6th grade, we went to some summer school thing and thats when we got really close and we also got real close with this other girl. Soon, one of the girls stopped hanging out with us, but she had her reasons. We still talk and everything, but just not as much as we used to. So now its left to me, friend from 6th grade, and friend from kindegarten and friend from summerschool. I love them like woah. I'm seriously glad i met them. But since highschools gonna start soon, and we're all going to be seperated except for two of them, i hope we still keep in touch.

Yeah so thats my story. I think its really confusing but i tried ><

[clarity]

to tell you the truth, I don't think I've ever really appreciated my so called "friends".

thats how i feel.
wow now i appreciate them..

[kimmytree]

I feel the exact same way. I was fine through elementary school, but as soon as I hit middle school, bang. Same thing with high school. I've always been the shy kid, never looking for friends... but I never turn them down.

I think I'm slowly loosening up though. I plan on trying alot harder next year, appreciating my friends, and actually making the effort to keep them.

[*lolita kitty*]

Ha, good topic.

I have a similar story to yours. I was really comfortable where I had lived (Baton Rouge, LA) all through elementary school. I had alot of friends, and I was the straight "A" good girl. But about 3 months before the 5th grade ended, my dad got married to a woman in California, and moved us all over there so we could live together.

For the last few months of fifth grade, I was pretty much the freak of the school. I had absolutely no friends, because nobody wanted to talk to me. They all made fun of me and called the the "ugly Louisiana girl". They told me I had ugly clothes, ugly hair, ugly teeth, and that I was too skinny. It was only a short few months, but it felt like forever.

When middle school started, I had a hard time making friends. Our local middle school was where all the gangster wannabe kids went, and I was always getting made fun of by them. It was always "you hella pale!" or "dayuuuuuuummmm you's UGLY!!!!!!" or "DAMN BITCH DO YOU EVER EAT???", and especially "you'se a hella dumb racist white bitch Ill bet you don't like black people huh? f**k YOU!!!!". I was in that awkward stage of my life where I was skinny, had a big head, big feet, crooked teeth, and I was still short. I was made fun of for so many things, and it really brought down my self esteem.

During these two years, I continuously tried changing myself to fit in with the "cool kids". I would spend all of my money on baby phat shirts and phat farm shoes, and put my hair up in a ponytail every day. It wasn't me at all, but I thought that it would make me look cool.

I ended up surviving the 6th and 7th grade with the few friends I had, and switched schools in the 8th grade. It was a preforming arts school that I had auditioned for, and I was very excited that they had accepted me. By this time, I was nothing like the girl I was when I first moved to California. My hair was alot longer, I had straight teeth (thanks to braces), I had gotten alot taller, and my style had changed alot.

That was the year I started to appreciate friends. I made so many friends at my new school, and we all got along so well. They were girls just like me, who I could be myself around. I was really glad that I had gone to that school, it was such a good change for me.

Yikes, I wrote alot more than I though I would

[mylittleMiracle]

uh actually i dont have many friends.
my friends are all my "true" friends.
other people.....are crappy.they take advantages of the other stupids,so how can i make friends with such sluts? whatever because my friends are in small amount,so i really appreciate them
i really enjoy chatting with my friends.
when i was in junior school,i used to have many friends.but after i knew some of them talked about my shit behind me,i was totally angry and left them.at that time,i understood that i need "true" friends,but not the friends that talked about shit behind me and talked about shit to me behind people.
And now,although i have not too many friends(true friends of coz!),i really feel happy because i can be "true" when chatting with them.

[kimmytree]

Yeah, "true" friends are hard to come by these days.

[marzipan]

well, i guess i really didn't start to appreciate them until a year or 2 ago.

in kindergarten, i had a bunch of friends but we really didn't do anything. because you know, it's kindergarten.

1st grade....probably the worst school year of my life so far. the "friends" that i thought i had didn't really mean much to me. one of them accidentally smashed my finger with a rock. yeah...harsh. and i stood up for her, lied, and said i smashed my finger myself. i actually thought she was a friend. after that incident, she just...didn't talk to me anymore.

2nd grade. this is when i had my first best best friend. we were inseparable. until the day she moved away. i didn't take it that hard, actually. i just got over it quickly.

3rd. i met 3 of the best friends in the world. we all hung out 24/7. and it was funny because we all had our little quirks and had completely different personalities. but after a while, since we were so different, we grew apart. for a period of time, 3 of us kept in touch. the 4th thought she was "too cool" for us. now i only talk to 1 every once in a while.

4th. eh...nothing happened.

5th. same as 4th.

it was 7th grade when i actually realized what it was to have true friends. one girl - my best friend - was kind to me no matter what. when i got into this mode and thought that the cheerleaders were my friends, about a month later they totally ditched me and treated me like crap. my old friend came back and, surprisingly, was still my friend. so i guess a true friend is one that will stick with you, even when it seems that you two are apart.

[ghjgfkgfk]

in grade school i didn't have any close friends in my grade that lasted more than two days. i would just like, talk to random ppl on the bus. i remember stephine, she's three years younger than me and had glasses and was really sweet and had younger brother and and a dad w/ cancer. i dont think she remembers me. i wonder how her dad is. isnt it sad? i also talked to a girl named anastnia or whatever who lived in a trailer park and was mean. the friends i had in my grade were andury (or something) and desuree (lol i can't spell). they were my only black friends and you know, north canton is all white. then they both moved to florida! oh! i also was friends with katie but she moved and i hated her. lol there was this fat lesbian girl who i made fun of with tiffany. oh!! michelle! i knew her too! she was such a cry baby! i think she made me bitter b/c i remember thinking about how dumb she is. she's very ADD and almost got lsot on the subway at washington DC last year. lol. she blinks a lot! she was in my math class and would dumb questions like, "do you have a doggie?"

so when i got to middle school i was open for new people and i met two girls named kayla and emily. kayla and i were so close in sixth grade but we didn't last because we just stopped talkign to each other. emily i am sort of friends with now but shes been pissing off so not really.

in seventh grade i met my friend jessica in the lamest class ever. i owe it to her that i have something to do on wesndays and saturday nights.

i also met my best friend caitlin in seventh grade through kayla, in a way. you see, i would see caitlin at kayla's parties but i didn't talk to her. then in gym class caitlin was there and we jsut naturally started talking. it was really great. to be honest, i could do w/o any of m other friends but not caitlin. we might not be friends forever but i deff. love the times we have toegether now. i love caitlin. she's my best friend.me, jessica and caitlin are super close. emily has other friends i f**king hate so i dont think i matter much to her. i blame ashley for ruining my friendship with emily. i f**king hate ashley. i wish she would away! jenny too!

there's also a girl named brittany who hates my guts b/c she thinks i stole caitlin from her. lol. at a party she was all, "is it true you like maria more than you like me?" to caitlin. her and caitlin aren't really friends anymore. i hate brittany. she's so fugly. i can't believe i have to see her in choir.

lol dramaz j/k

[Gigi]

I went through my whole elementary years as a lonely kid. No one hated me, I'm sure, and plenty of people considered me as their friend, but I was no one's best friend. Any best friends that I did have never lasted long, because usually they started ignoring me.

Actually, I did have a best friend in Grade 7, but she turned out to be the biggest mistake of my young life.

Anyway, I went to high school in Grade 8 and met tons of really nice people, went through a year of rough transition and bullying (related to my Grade 7 biggest mistake of my life) and things settled down for good in Grade 9. Now I have a close-knit group of friends, free of cliques and judgment, and it's been the best years of my life.

[demolished]

Oh man. i'm glad that i made this topic.

Oh yeah, in 8th grade, i started to talk to my old friend from 4th grade again. it felt reallllly awesome to talk to each other once in a while.

until our incoming 9th grade class, he told me that he had to move to another school. i was really .. down. i just want to "make it up" to him for what i have done in the past. Just like i say, i took disadvantage of him.

Because i grew up, matured, experienced, and i know what to do.

all that experience came from 7th grade when i met crappy friends. i thank them for making me strong but i will never ... connect with them .. ever again.

shouldn't this be in relationships? O_o
to tell you the truth, I don't think I've ever really appreciated my so called "friends". I'm a loner I guess, but I don't really mind.

It's really alrite. i did had crappy so called "friends". i learned alot from them and how it felt to be part of it.

Once you got the experience, you're going to make this experience useful.

someday, some point if your life, you probably wont like being lonely anymore. you look around ... and realize things that you're missing out in life or want something that you should be doing.

how old are you? what grade level are you in?

[ghjgfkgfk]

why did the title change

[pedophile]

Ohhhh man.

To be honest, I never really had any "true" friends, ulness you count this girl who used to be my friend back in Kindergarden who I used to treat like crap.

I have always pretty much been a loner. Haha. It's kind of my fault, too. You see, I was the time of girl who would pretty much fight everyone & who didn't like anyone in elementary school. Sure, there would be some kids I'd hang out w/ at stuff (at school only, mind you), but I never really liked them.

But then there came 3rd grade.

Ok, I still didn't like anyone. LOL. But then I started realizing that I was lonely & stuff. There were these girls that used to think they were cool & all that stuff, & there was this girl, Grace, who let me hang out w/ her, but she really didn't like me. She used to treat me like crap along w/ everyone else. I also remember that during 3rd grade, she had a papercut, & she blamed it on me. Of course, I hadn't really done it, but since she was a teacher's pet & all, they didn't believe me. UGH. I was pretty much known as that weird geeky girl. In 4th grade, that Grace girl pretty much left. I was still annoying & everything, though. I still hated everyone. Ok, 5th grade came. Still hated everyone. Then 6th grade came (I was still in that same crappy school). So there were the "ghetto" 8th graders who thought they were cool & all that shit. I didn't really like any of them, & I could tell they didn't like me either. There was this kid, Carlos, he used to pick on me & shit. Oh, & there was this kid, Alphonso, who used to also pick on me. I used to be picked on for being all "white" & shit. I got close to some poeple, & then drifted away from them because of something that had happened. Hah. Grr, I think so far this has been my worst year. Oh, yeah, not to mention that I was one of those annoying kids that thought they were different & all that crap. Ugh. 7th grade came, & I still hated it. I guess I talked to some people. People didn't really hate me anymore, & yeah. I used to make fun of this girl who used to annoy me. Actually, I used to pretty much make fun of everyone. I was pretty closeminded back then about things & I wasn't easy to get along with. I started feeling really lonely since my friends didn't try talking to me, so I ditched them for this other group of kids. I started talking to them, but one day I was really pissed off, so I wrote this xanga entry which I talked crap about some of my friends. Turns out that one of my friends had found out & was really pissed at me (but then again, she's the kind of person who'd pretty much get pissed off at anything & start yelling at you). So like at lunch, she was being stupid & all that crap, & was saying some rude stuff loudly so everyone could hear. Of course, everyone around her was laughing at me. Then we started yelling & we got in this arguement. At first I wanted to talk to her & apologize for what I had done, but then she just had pissed me off, so I was just like "Bitch, f**k you." I stopped hanging out w/ them & went back to hanging out w/ the other people I had originally hung out with. Then 8th grade came. I had changed a bit since. I tried to not talk crap about people & stuff. I pretty much got well along w/ everyone. I tried becoming friends w/ everyone & stuff although most of them didn't even bother talking to me. Meh. Sure, some of them were nice to me & all, but they never tried actually hanging out w/ me, so when I hung out w/ them, I felt like an outcast.

Whatever. Now, I'm going to 9th grade.
I have realized a whole bunch of shit through these past few years. I try to not let myself down, although it happens a lot, & now, when I finally enter highschool, I'm going to give everyone a chance & um, stop talking shit & all that crap. I'm not gonna be OVERLY nice to be walked all over on, but I'm going to be nice to everyone, & if someone DOES treat me like crap, I'll just ignore it & move on.

I don't think I made any sense at all.

So the end.

[*Weird addiction*]

I don't have the courage to read the whole of your post. I might read it later.

[*Statistik*]

I started making a lot of homiez in 4th grade, still continued the friendship until 6th grade, when I had to move to another town. I don't have many friends in this town as I did in the previous town. Moving totally ruined everything. It affected my life a lot. I hope when I get into High School, friendship will be much better .. damn I miss all my old boys. Couldn't get contact with them for 2 damn years ..

[jennyjenny]

i think no one really understands friendship until highschool

[sarcastic biscui...]

I haven't had real friends until last year. My school "friends" are horrible.

[kimmytree]

Eh. Same with me. I never appreciated friends in elementary school or middle school. Now that I go to a private school, there's not very many people to be friends with. The very few I have, arent very good friends at all.

[demolished]

kill 'em ;]