i cut myself - please help, ABUSE/bad breakup and i can't handle it anymore (merged) Options

[mystikmiko]

since the day i met him,
i've always wanted him.

and my selfishness blown through.
i believed i put too much of my emotions and thought through this relationship.
and now it only brings me pain.
all i ever wanted was to love him.
make him better than what he already is.
make all the bad times turn into good times.

he'd always said, "i love you,"
and meant it.
and i would always repiled, "i love you too."
and meant it.

yet now there is no time for me to move on.
i still love him very much - no, i still love me and forever will.
but it pains me in ever way till i start to cry.
eventually it leads to physical pain.

cutting myself throughout the night,
only wishing i can still have another chance.

i get mad at myself and it hurts not seeing him here.
my goal in this relationship and my mission in life,
was only to make him happy.
no matter how much pain i would have to go through.

but now...
there is no chance for that,
and i'm deeply sorry.
i've caused soo much pain already.
i just wish i can stop thinking about him.

move on through life.
but no - i have no purpose in life anymore.
and wish i can just give up.
but i still know there is hope.

which he can only grant.
i have made him unhappy.
and now,
i can no longer feel the need to live.

i am..............


a failure and is there anymore i can do?

please help me...