Age?, He's 20 and i'm 15... Options

[aznraver396]

First off, I know it's more or less illegal. It's difficult. We've known each other for three years now and we've been friends for two of those years. He's not going to take advantage of me since he'd only screw himself over by doing so. I brought this up with another friend of mine and he said "I was too smart for that." I sure hope he's right if anything does happen. We get along really well - so well that it's nearly crazy. We both have this sense of humor and we're both witty. I never thought I'd have so much in common with one person and be so different at the same time. I've already gotten into the arguments and conflicts with my friends. Some approve and some were strongly against it. i suppose they've learned to accept it. (They had no right to judge him just by his age anyway. They didn't know him at all. Those who did were okay with it.) Most of his friends are actually okay with it. My friend says it's understandable and not so strange to him because I'm supposedly mature for my age. I don't really care whether or not he's right about my maturity, but I do believe the whole situation understandable. If the age gap wasn't so strange, then everything would be okay. If you saw us together walking in the mall, you'd have no idea we had so many years in between us.

Is it really a big deal?

[xlitoxb]

I think for some people just the hearing that you're a 15 year old girl dating a 20 year guy, they would freak out. I guess after actually reading what you had to say, it doesn't sound so bad. I mean, if you are truly smart enough not to let him take advantage of you, then I don't see why it can't work out. Just keep in mind that you're in high school and that things might change the way you view things and that he's 20 so he's already been through high school. Aside from all, I guess it's not that big a deal. =]

[klwfbh]

I agree. Especially since you've known eachh-other so long!
What does your parents think about it?..

[angelrevelation]

i think it's good, since he isn't taking advantage of you. and you can probably trust him since you've known him for so long. i don't think it's that big of a deal, since you two work so well together.

wait until you're 18

[OhMyAnniee]

^ Agree. Wait till your 18.

It's not that big of a deal. At first, it'll probably be a shocker but people will get over it.

[sarangxai]

No matter how mature or immature a person is, it can not account for the different stages of life. You're still getting started in high school and he's already been in a college for a year or 2. I would suggest waiting until you're almost out or out of high school.

[aznraver396]

I know I'd have to wait. My parents don't know about it yet - I'm still trying to figure out how I'd bring it up to them. It'll take time. Everything will.
As for Sweet_Suicide, yeah, I know where you're coming from, but school doesn't say what stage you're at in life. Everything's going to actually "start" when I get out of high school anyway.

[TearsOfAPhoenix]

My best friend is 16 and is dating my boyfriend's cousin who is 19. He's turning 20 soon and yea the age issue has come up various times. He's use to doing things a certain way and going out partying and getting a certain types of girls and my friend wasn't so into that.

He's calmed down quite a bit for her and they make a great couple. You just have to know how to control the situation and not let him do anything you don't want to do. I'm sure yall probably have an awesome relationship already so it shouldn't be a problem. Just me careful for those bumps in the road because of the age, like certain looks or people's opinion. If yall really care about each other it should be a big deal to you or your true friends.

[Laughsalot]

i don't think age really matters. aslong as you two have no maturity differences. than it's fine.

[sadolakced acid]

i'm sorry, but i've never met a 15 year old mature enough to date a 20 year old.

it is a pretty big deal. a general rule is no more than 2 years difference and it gradually gets larger the older you get.

[KielReese]

Yea, Im 23 now, and 5 years younger than myself is 18. Thats even pushing it, let alone 15 and 20. Where I live honestly that guy would either get his ass kicked for being a sicko or he would seriously be like turned in soon for one. No joke.

The fact that your in high school, and hes totally done is already way more than enough to kill what you have in an instant, I know from experience that older males that try an date girls only a lil but younger but are still in high school is basically a hangbag full of bullshit. Cause when you get older you wanna "grow" up and leave what I and many many people have come to call "High School Drama" behind them. For instance whats going to become important to you in school and all the people in it, the teachers you hate, the people you dont like, the horrible days and nights of homework. Theres just so many factors against the "relationshit" (Credit to Dane Cook)

If he pulls the I dont mind hearing it line, thats complete and utter BS. I am the killer sweetheart out of my friends and even hearing about that drama that I already had to endure makes me not wanna talk to certain people and I get along and talk to everyone!

I hope this will let you see some aspect of how much age and the difference of things that people have already had to go through can vary.

[ANG33ZY]

It is kind of a deal because of the ages, but what can you do. You feel a connection with the person and you have eachother's trust. Also, he isn't going to take advantage of you and that's a great thing since that's what guys usually do. I find that so sweet, hehe =]

Just because of the ages, you should wait till you're 18.

[mouse_3k]

forget it unless u wanna end up wit his baby when he dips out on you cuz he just wants some easy ass and u get a rep of a slut. move on forget him

[aznraver396]

forget it unless u wanna end up wit his baby when he dips out on you cuz he just wants some easy ass and u get a rep of a slut. move on forget him

HAHA! Aren't being a bit cynical there? Although many people are like that nowadays, it doesn't mean it's always like that. Oh, even if we had sex... Why would he do that and just leave? He could go to jail. I'm not even going there until later. Much later.
I didn't want to respond to your opinions with "no, there's no way that's going to happen" since, well, even I'm not sure. I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt, though. I wish you all knew the whole story and what we're like as individuals, but that's a bit too much to expect from all of you. The age gap does bring a lot of drama, whether or not it's "high school drama." We do get into a lot of conflicts with our friends about it and whatnot. Funny thing is that when they meet him then be enlightened about his age, they're okay with it; on the other hand, if they find out his age and never meet him, they have a problem with it.

[*sofakinglazy*]

Is it really a big deal?

No. But, are you sure you can handle it is the bigger question.

[*a painefull euphoria*]

i would say if you really cant wait till your 18 then try for 16 or 17
its a little better a standingbeing a junior/senior than being a freshman/sophomore in high school dating him and your a little closer to being legal so maybe your parents wouldent mind

[aznraver396]

No. But, are you sure you can handle it is the bigger question.

I'm not sure, but I sure as hell am going to try.
By the way, I love your signature.

[MasterNe0]

I was in ur position a while back. Girl was a few years younger then me. I decided to give it a try and see what happens but it didn't work out. I suggest finding someone around your age besides even if you think your mature for him, I would wait a year or two like everyone else said because it going to be hard handling a relationship where you and him are in two different worlds.

Him being legally a adult and you just started being a teenager.

[me1issaaaa]

I certainly hope you're as bright as you give yourself credit for. It's incredible how many girls say they're smart, how they hate drama, yada yada, and they turn out to be just as dumb as the rest of 'em. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders... don't waste it.

[aznraver396]

I certainly hope you're as bright as you give yourself credit for. It's incredible how many girls say they're smart, how they hate drama, yada yada, and they turn out to be just as dumb as the rest of 'em. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders... don't waste it.

Heh, I hope I'm as bright as I say I am as well. I'm trying to be modest but I'm also trying to let you guys know what I'm really like at the same time. Let's hope I don't make a hypocrite out of myself in the end.

[splitnightsky]

I would say to wait til you are 18 :)

my parents are 7 years apart, so the age difference doesn't bother me.
just be careful, because life experiences at different ages mean a lot.
for instance, my dad was a teen in the 60s. my mom was a little kid.
my dad is a laid back guy of the 60s and 70s. my mom is another story...
but maybe this helps get my point across?
their life experiences have made them completely different people.

but you 2 sound awesome ;)
if he is this cool, he can wait a few years for the "perfect woman".

[aznraver396]

Oh, my parents are eight years apart, but they're a bad example when it comes to perfect couples. -_-

[Gypsy Eyes]

I wouldn't wait until you're eighteen, just wait until you are sure it's what you want. If you were you wouldn't care about what other people say.

[nightowl89]

well it depends on a lot of things, but the bottom line is this:

you guys are at compleeeetely differnet points in your lives. And I think going out would not let him grow up enough and experience being 20 like he should be, and you from having a highschool experience like you should be.

One of my best friends has made it work with a 4 year difference and they've been on and off for a year now. but over all its been a hell of a rollercoaster, and now she feels like she needs to let him go since he's become so content on her, and she feels like he should be thinking ahead about his future (hes 21) Although their relationship is great, theres some weird inbalance, even if it does work out...

If he lives close maybe you can casually date, but I think just staying friends is a better idea.

[*Infinite.*]

I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 20, theres nothing wrong with it in my eyes, and many of my friends and most people I know don't see anything wrong with it and my parents approve of him or atleast my dad and his girlfriend. My real mom has talked to him but never met him, its a long distance relationship though.

Anyway back to the point, I don't see anything wrong with it; age is just a number. Also you shouldn't be so worried on what others think about it, as long as your happy with it and don't see anything wrong with it and the main people in your life that you care for their opinions don't mind it, then its fine.