Compulsive Cheater?, looking for advice.. Options

[[Mediocre]Artist]

It really bugs me to have to ask cB for help, but I can't ask my girls and I certainly can't ask my boyfriend.

I've dated this guy for two and a half years. He knows me inside out, accepts my flaws, helped me when I was suicidal, got me through cutting, stays up with me at night. He's my best friend, without question. Last year I cheated on his with someone I knew. The guy I cheated with was a friend, but I wasn't emotionally attached. I started to thing that I wasn't in love with my boyfriend anymore. The combined things put us in a bit of a fight and after two weeks of being apart I realized I was miserable without him. I was lonely and became completely cold hearted. Just honestly cruel and icy to the point that even I was shocked at myself. Plus I realized I was in love with my ex so we talked a lot and I begged and pleaded (oh so humbling) and we got back together. He forgave me (in fact he's friends with the guy) but I've never forgiven myself.

So its a year later. My eye started wondering towards another guy (vaguely considered a friend to me) after I had two dreams about cheating with him (while one of my friends watched and smiled no less ) and just last night I had another dream about cheating on my boyfriend with some other guy (who I don't even like!). I don't know whats going on with me anymore. Is this a phase or something? I'm really starting to worry about myself.