am i stupid for this? Options

[iminlovewithTomD...]

Mmk, so last year, there was this new kid at my school, and at first yeah he was just another kid, didn't really matter to me. But somehow we became friends, and we would hang out like the whole school day, and we did so much together, and eventually I began to have like this undying passion for him. Then he told me that he didn't really view me as a good friend, just another person in the school...

was/is it stupid for me to be upset about this?

i guess this isnt much of a 'relationship' topic... but it sort of is.

[*mipadi*]

No, not stupid. Everyone has to deal with unrequited love. Just don't let it bother you too much. Don't get hung up on it.

[iminlovewithTomD...]

well.. the thing is i already am... and it's not just that. i mean i guess you could say that's "yesterdays problem" (for lack of a better way to put it) but i love him so friggin' much, and all he does is ignore me because of it. i mean, i do know that it's uncomfortable, cuz i got this 8th grade clingy guy flirting with me, and it's awkward. but i mean i never flirted with will(the kid), i NEVER tried anything (except once last year... but that didnt seem to make the change, cuz we were still friends for a while after it), so eventually i just got soo fed up with this i told him to kill me. yeah, that's right. i gave him a note saying that if he was gonna keep on ignorin' me, that i'd bring a knife to him and he could stab me in the neck... and i seriously was plannin' on bringing the knife. and its kind of stupid, cuz im just 13, but i seriously do love him. but now it's like not even love anymore, because i don't even really know him anymore, cuz he's been ignoring me for like 5 months, but knowing who he used to be, he must still be the most amazing person EVER!! but now all i have to think about is his physical self, which i didnt ever really find overly attractive at first, but it's like im making myself love it... so pretty much its just lust, and i wanna be able to know him again, and i wanna be able to LOVE him again, cuz this lust thing is annoying. its dumb, and it makes me feel empty

[SarahxJoy]

I don't think it's lust or love. I think it's infatuation, from the sound of things.

Seeing as how he's ignoring you, I say move on, although it'll be hard. Just try to keep your mind off of him and keeping yourself busy. If you want, think of the negative things about him (he has 'em for sure, everyone does..if you don't think so, it's infatuation not love). Eventually you'll realize that he's not the guy you thought he was and it'll be easier to move onto someone else, a better friendship and maybe something even more.

[nerdxcore]

this is a very serious problem. you would kill yourself over a boy? there will be plenty more. having such thoughts like those aren't good. so this boy doesnt want to be friends with you or what? when you sent him that note you might have scared him off. it might have sounded like a threat to him, and you cant push someone into loving you. you're only 13 so you have plenty of time to meet other boys.

[iminlovewithTomD...]

yeah, i keep on telling myself that. i've sort of moved past the suicidal stage i guess.. i try to remind my self of number 179 on my "Reality list" about him, which is : there'll be more meaningful times with more meaningful people that will have a more significant meaning.

i also resort to my older brother's friends.. he has cool friends.

but sometimes i think that when i talk about cameron (one of my brother's friends), i try to say it extra loud and make it a point, so that he realizes he's not the ONLY guy i'm attracted to, cuz i've sort of gotten to the point where he seems really arrogant towards me, and like "why the f**k do you only love ME?" and one time when i was saying that eric cartman (from south park) was the love of my life really really loudly, my friend heidi said that will had said, "it used to be will..." and heidi was like, "are you jealous?" and he just said "no" and walked off. so i dont know what that means.

but i think tainted angel is right, i need to make a list of the negative things about him... ill do that during history. cuz i hate history.

[Heartless Hero]

is it possible he meant

that he doesnt see you as a friend

but closer?

i dont know, it really depends on how he said it though.

[Oh its murderous]

You're not stupid for feeling that way, its probably more harder for girls to deal with that, but guys are stupid, and im sure down the road when you start not being as close he'll realize what he had.

[_sarcastic_]

if he keeps ignoring you.
i say just move on and forget about him

[iminlovewithTomD...]

is it possible he meant

that he doesnt see you as a friend

but closer?

i dont know, it really depends on how he said it though.

here, i saved the converstaion on my computer..

him: im sorry...ive never felt that we were best friends. i just never have. and you the type of person that just has inside jokes with everybody...friends or nonfriend
him: exactley..ive always felt that i was better friends with colin than i was with you.
him: because............i didnt feel that, our relationship was anything more than "friends at school"...like me and molly...or me and michelle

i took out like a ton of stuff... just the main things that killed me. wow that was from like forever ago... that was actually a different problem... wow.. that was in like december. haha.

and i could NOT write a list of all the bad things about him... for some reason he just seems perfect, except colin (who i love very much and am VERY thankful for) said, "ill bet you 40 bucks that by the time he's forty, he'll be bald, overweight, stupid, and working at a car shop." lol... i love that boy.. so that helped a little i guess...
but today in art, since it was our last day of art, our art teacher let us watch music videos and have popcorn and soda , we were watchin' a Thousand Foot Krutch music video, and I heard him say, "wow, that guy like needs a makeover..." so i just turned around, ((cuz i really like this guy in the music video, i mean hell! i wrote his name all over my wall)) and was like, "but its TREVOR MCNEVAN!!" and he just rolled his eyes and started whispering to his friends... which i find like... idk it makes him seem like a girly girl. and then, there was like this huge crowd of people, and he was like a few people away from me, so i started pushing through a few of my friends, and i was like, "gosh im so friggin' close!!!" cuz he was like right there you know? and so this one girl pokes him and says "gina wants to be close to you" that pissed me off.

well anyhow, i'm gonna stop writing this post... toOOO long

[PrincessAda]

I think he sees you as more as a friend..Aghh oh well if it doesn`t mean that..move on..he`s not the only guy.and no you aren`t stupid!

[iminlovewithTomD...]

well the bottom line is he hates me and i know that i have no chance and need to move on. but it's nowhere near as easy as just saying "move on" because it's like... idk it's crazy. i've thought a number of times that i've been "over" him, but then something happens always happens like i get a certain glimpse of him and then it allllll comes tumbling down and i cant stop thinking about him again. and it feels like people are rushing me into not caring about him anymore.... and i see where they're coming from because it's been MONTHs, but i can't help it. i can't let go!!

and the thing is, since i go to this really tiny christian school, there AREN'T other guys! well there are... but none of 'em are... well... i dont know. none of them really interest me a lot as more than friends... well a few do, but not that much... i mean it's like gotta be enough to move a mountain before it moves my heart.

[*Uronacid*]

it is wrong to be upset about it, but... can you help it?

alot of people worry about things they can do nothing about, including me. If you were nice to this guy like you said you were. Then you can do notihng about the way he feels towards you. You put your best foot forward. Look at it in a poistive sense. At least he was nice enough not the lead you on. Many people will feel bad if someone likes them and lead them on thinking that they are doing you some kind of favor.

[Something Vague]

I think he's stupid for not realising how close you guys became.

[misoshiru]

Why don't you try to do something else to fill up your time. If your time is filled up, you won't think about him. Hence, the beginning to get over, like what Sarah (tainted_angel) said, of what is more infatuation than it is love.

[*Programmer*]

your throwing around the "Passion and Love" word like it's meaningless. you probably just scared him off...i don't even think your old enough to know what passion or love even is. please reframe from using the term so loose. but forget about the guy you already screwed up. best thing to do is keep yourself busy.

[jenn_jenny]

is it possible he meant

that he doesnt see you as a friend

but closer?

i dont know, it really depends on how he said it though.

thats what i was thinking

[*jooleeah*]

Ouch. That was cold, what he said to you.

Well, try focusing on other things. If he doesn't view you as a really good friend, then move on. His loss, right?

[magicfann]

i think i_heart_blink is just ugly

[iminlovewithTomD...]

well the thing is, i have nothing to do!! and EVERYTHING reminds me of him...

and by golly "magicfann" dont be a bitch. you don't even know what i look like!

[iROCKYOURSOCKS]

wow..do you really know wat love is i mean your 13? anywayz i think he only wants to be friends with you and when a guys mind is set there is nothing more you can do...especially if hes ignoring you for that long..

[magicfann]

well the thing is, i have nothing to do!! and EVERYTHING reminds me of him...

and by golly "magicfann" dont be a bitch. you don't even know what i look like!

lol
"by golly"
and im a bitch

[anoniez]

join a school activity or something, i guess as its summer do something like summer swim team, volunteer somewhere, go shopping, on vacation, don't just sit around the house and think of him =b
yeah i think you probably scared him off after the whole killing thing.. i mean, i'd be freaked out if someone who liked me and who i didnt have feelings for gave me a note telling me to kill them.. i mean, i guess just put yourself in his place for a lot of the things you've said.
mm.. just try really hard to move on. you can't really control how other people act and he sounds like a jerk anyway. get rid of anything that reminds you of him, delete him from your buddy list, the longer time you spend not thinking of him the faster you'll get over him. and i know how it is when one of your friends tells you something that gets you thinking "oh he's jealous of how i said i like so-and-so, he really likes me underneath it all" ..don't let it give you hope again, cause that's one of the things that keeps an infatuation going.

[iminlovewithTomD...]

alrighty, thx. ill try summa those things.