Elation, Be forewarned; it's kind of long. Options

[Ekay]

Despair,
Never thought I’d see you so soon.
Clad in your shadows,
Revealing neither face nor frame.
Every time I meet you
I gravitate towards you;
Almost like a monstrous black hole.

Why can’t I get away?

Every glimmer of light
Is snatched away so easily.
It eats up everything around me
And I always have this urge
In my throat to shout
“Go to hell! What else
Do you want from me?
You’ve swallowed everything
I have to offer and more,
You glutton!”
But my throat constricts
And tears cloud my eyesight
Making it hard to speak.

I’ve tried once to escape
And I heard it speak.
“You cannot hide;
You cannot run.
For wherever you run,
I’ll be there.
Whenever you dream,
I’ll be your nightmare.
Whatever your fantasy,
I’ll be your reality.
I am wherever you are.
I am you.”
Its voice is raspy and so soft
That I wish I didn’t hear it.

Escape became futile.
I almost gave up,
Allowing myself to be
Consumed by darkness.
I was becoming essentially blind;
Not in my eyesight but of my
Other empirical sensations.
Taste, color, touch, smell, pain
And that’s just to name a few.

Then, I found my blinding white light;
My release from the world
Of eternal night.
I have noticed it before but,
I’ve never paid it any mind.
I had deceived myself
Into believing it would stay
As that tiny speck.

Yet, at its zenith,
Questions flooded my mind.
What is this light?
What is this raising me
From the murky depths of despair?
Is it the love from my family?
No, not they nor their love.
I have given up hope
Of them ever being there.

I opened my eyes to witness a pillar.
That I am standing upon a pillar but,
Where did it come from? My friends?
They have supported me from day one
And even then, it was hard to pull myself
Out of this misery. What was the final push?
And then I was able to distinguish
The driving force behind this support;
My family. They are standing at
The very front lines where
My friends once stood and now
They shoulder the weight
My friends have carried for so long

Now, I am truly grateful for them.
I lift my head to the sky
And open my arms;
Tears silently leaving their trails
As the warm sunlight dry them away.
I have never wished for anything more
As I lay back to enjoy the warmth
That I’ve been missing.