open marriage, for or against? Options

[*mzkandi*]

here is the back story

Will Smith and Wife Have 'Open' Marriage

United Press International
Actor Will Smith says he and his wife have an agreement that they can
have sex with others provided they inform each other first.
Smith, 36, has been married to entertainer Jada Pinkett Smith for seven
years.
"Our perspective is, you don't avoid what's natural," Smith told
Britain's Daily Mail. "You're going to be attracted to people. In our
marriage vows, we didn't say forsaking all others. The vow that we made
was that you will never hear that I did something after the fact."
"If it came down to it, then one can say to the other, 'Look, I need to
have sex with somebody. I'm not going to if you don't approve of it --
but please approve of it.'"
Smith said he was forced to admit he had sexual feelings for other
women when working on his film 'Hitch,' in which he stars with Eva
Mendes, whom he described as freakin' gorgeous.
Despite that attraction, Smith says his second marriage is still solid.


my question is do you support or oppose open marriage??

me personally i dont care if other people do but i think it takes away from the whole point of being married.

[kisstharingz]

I'm not against it but I don't understand why someone would want to do that...it just seems sort of odd to me, but hey I've never been in a relationship so I wouldn't know...

[pandamonium]

where did you get this about will smith?

i dont support it. i mean if the 2 people in the relationship and the people they have sex with them is alright with it go ahead and do it. but i dont think its right cause you vowed to be with one person for the rest of your life. i mean if you wanna do this its like casual sex or like friends with benefits or sumthing like that you shouldnt get married unless your sure of being with that one and only person.

[*mzkandi*]

^^^^^^
http://www.realitytvworld.com/index/articl...y.php?s=1001905

there are bunch of other news websites too

[Angel_Cece]

well thats a sin.
i dunno what commandment it is but it says "thou shall not commit adultery"

adultery- cheating on spouse

[pandamonium]

well thats a sin.
i dunno what commandment it is but it says "thou shall not commit adultery"

adultery- cheating on spouse

but its not cheating. read again they have to inform each other that they are going to sleep with someone else.

[kisstharingz]

but its not cheating. read again they have to inform each other that they are going to sleep with someone else.

Yeah, cheating is as defined:
To deceive by trickery; swindle

[fameONE]

I'm not really into idolizing celebrities because there are far more import people in the world but Will Smith is an actor/musician I have a lot of respect for.

With that being said, that shit right there is crazy. If they hadn't spoken those sacred vows in front of the alter, then I'd just shrug my shoulders and say "whatever," but, that's exactly what you DONT do when you're married. Agreement or no agreement.

[ohh_so_elektrikk...]

here is the back story

Will Smith and Wife Have 'Open' Marriage

United Press International
Actor Will Smith says he and his wife have an agreement that they can
have sex with others provided they inform each other first.
Smith, 36, has been married to entertainer Jada Pinkett Smith for seven
years.
"Our perspective is, you don't avoid what's natural," Smith told
Britain's Daily Mail. "You're going to be attracted to people. In our
marriage vows, we didn't say forsaking all others. The vow that we made
was that you will never hear that I did something after the fact."
"If it came down to it, then one can say to the other, 'Look, I need to
have sex with somebody. I'm not going to if you don't approve of it --
but please approve of it.'"
Smith said he was forced to admit he had sexual feelings for other
women when working on his film 'Hitch,' in which he stars with Eva
Mendes, whom he described as freakin' gorgeous.
Despite that attraction, Smith says his second marriage is still solid.
my question is do you support or oppose open marriage??

me personally i dont care if other people do but i think it takes away from the whole point of being married.

i couldnt agree with you more. if i was married, i would NEVER want my husband to have sex with other women, if he wanted to do that, why get married in the first place? marriage is between two people, not 10, 20, etc

[fameONE]

i couldnt agree with you more. if i was married, i would NEVER want my husband to have sex with other women, if he wanted to do that, why get married in the first place? marriage is between two people, not 10, 20, etc

I'm not the jealous type, but I'm sure I'd be a bit on the jealous side if I cook my wife dinner, we sit down at the table, discuss our day and she tells me, "Oh, remember that one guy who stole your job? (YEA) I had sex with him."

[ohh_so_elektrikk...]

I'm not the jealous type, but I'm sure I'd be a bit on the jealous side if I cook my wife dinner, we sit down at the table, discuss our day and she tells me, "Oh, remember that one guy who stole your job? (YEA) I had sex with him."

lol, so true. i would be jealous too if my husband told me he was sleeping with other women. can you say "jerry springer"?

[fameONE]

lol, so true. i would be jealous too if my husband told me he was sleeping with other women. can you say "jerry springer"?

I can see the headlines now RESPECTED SAN ANTONIO MAN KILLS WIFE IN BLIND RAGE.

[*mzkandi*]

I can see the headlines now RESPECTED SAN ANTONIO MAN KILLS WIFE IN BLIND RAGE.

lol.....but you know what i find is interesting about this subject that it is fairly common among married couples according to my research. i have a friend who is married and her and her hubby have threesomes are the time. i find the that rather disturbing seeing that they are married but they have a very close knit relationship...also whenever i am in a chat room (mostly yahoo's chat rooms) i see things all the time with couples trying to find a person online to have sex with them..........

[fameONE]

lol.....but you know what i find is interesting about this subject that it is fairly common among married couples according to my research. i have a friend who is married and her and her hubby have threesomes are the time. i find the that rather disturbing seeing that they are married but they have a very close knit relationship...also whenever i am in a chat room (mostly yahoo's chat rooms) i see things all the time with couples trying to find a person online to have sex with them..........

I'm down with experimenting and trying new things to enhance the sexual experience but thats something my future wife and I will do by ourselves.

You and your husband invite a third party in for a threesome. It's enjoyed by everyone, but midway through, you realize that you prefer the sexual company of the invited party over your husband. That can cause problems.

Reverting back to Will Smith, or Slick Willy, Eva Mendes is fingerlickin' good. Imagine what that could do to the marriage if that on-screen chemistry goes well beyond the bedroom.

[ohh_so_elektrikk...]

well havent you heard of those parties where people hook up with random strangers? i saw a segment of that on mtv where these two couples were into those sex parties, and i just sat there wondering how the hell people can do that, and still have a strong marriage. marriage is about TWO PEOPLE, not about how many strangers you can hook up with in one night.

[CrimsonSkyGraphi...]

Heya All,

Hm, well..I guess I'll be the first to comment from my perspective. My current bf of over 2 years and I..have a similar agreement. True, we're not 'married' yet..But we're planning on it. I've told him before that if he wants to, then he can..but only if I know about it first. Just as we're up for threesomes or whatever.

Now, I do know that he's really not 'interested' in another girl..which helps, and makes it that much more special cause he knows I woulnd'nt mind. But..I look at it as this: Sure, he may do and sleep with some other girl..but who's the one he wakes up with every morning? Who's the one he loves more than anything in the world? I'm comfortable he'd never 'cheat' on me..And I trust him with everything. Heck, he was even against the idea when I told him he could. o.O

Yes, marraige is about two people..and yes, I can totally understand why it should stay between those two. But I also know that it's okay to have a little fun sometimes..and if it's something you both enjoy, then what's the harm of it?

[pandamonium]

Heya All,

Hm, well..I guess I'll be the first to comment from my perspective. My current bf of over 2 years and I..have a similar agreement. True, we're not 'married' yet..But we're planning on it. I've told him before that if he wants to, then he can..but only if I know about it first. Just as we're up for threesomes or whatever.

Now, I do know that he's really not 'interested' in another girl..which helps, and makes it that much more special cause he knows I woulnd'nt mind. But..I look at it as this: Sure, he may do and sleep with some other girl..but who's the one he wakes up with every morning? Who's the one he loves more than anything in the world? I'm comfortable he'd never 'cheat' on me..And I trust him with everything. Heck, he was even against the idea when I told him he could. o.O

Yes, marraige is about two people..and yes, I can totally understand why it should stay between those two. But I also know that it's okay to have a little fun sometimes..and if it's something you both enjoy, then what's the harm of it?

you see just like you there are people who are open to these things and as long as they are ok with it they should be fine. i mean i may not support it but like crimson_sky she is alright with it and her partner it shouldnt be a big deal .

[innovation]

morally, it's just sick. what if she or one of his other "partners" gets pregnant? what kind of twisted family would this be? you can't even describe this as a marriage, since obvious, they're not very devoted to each other.

[CrimsonSkyGraphi...]

o.o' Well, I'll try not to take that personally since it wasn't actually pointed at 'me'..But in defense of those of us who dont see anything wrong with it, as long as everyone that are involved agree and understand to the situation..Then 'that' is personal choice. You can get pregnant just as easily in 'any' one night stand, so..That's all this would be, no? o.O

It's not about beong 'devoted'. It's about fun.

[nevernothere]

If you wanna have sex with other people... then you should just be friends with benefits or something.

[CrimsonSkyGraphi...]

But how does that work if you love eachother and want to live together and everything? o.O

[Rachel]

while i don't think i would ever want an open relationship, hell it is his life and if jada agrees than who are we to judge? obviously they love eachother but hormones can get to the best of us

[innovation]

o.o' Well, I'll try not to take that personally since it wasn't actually pointed at 'me'..But in defense of those of us who dont see anything wrong with it, as long as everyone that are involved agree and understand to the situation..Then 'that' is personal choice. You can get pregnant just as easily in 'any' one night stand, so..That's all this would be, no? o.O

It's not about beong 'devoted'. It's about fun.

um, are you out of your mind? how can you say that you "don't see anything wrong with it?" i see a lot wrong with it. sure, the government can't do anything about it, since it's a private matter. but how can you actually not see anything wrong with being married to someone while being able to have sex with anyone else one wants? of course marriage is about being "devoted." if you think that marriage is about "fun," your morals are seriously twisted.

[*mzkandi*]

It's not about being 'devoted'. It's about fun.

you seem to be trying to make a strong point of the matter being about fun. and for some couples i am sure it is. but i think for a majority some would rather tell there husband/wife that they are going to sleep with someone else rather than go behind there back and do it

take note Will Simth said
"The vow that we made
was that you will never hear that I did something after the fact."

so i think the matter is more than the fact they want to have fun, they just cant control those hormones. they maybe have feelings (at least enough feelings to have sex with that person) and they dont want to sneak behind each others back aka cheating

with that said i still think its unfair to judge a couple based on what they decide to do in their marriage. what works for one couple may not work for another. i know i would never have an open marriage because for me marriage in a special bond between two people but thats my opinion and dont expect everyone to agree with that

[CrimsonSkyGraphi...]

um, are you out of your mind? how can you say that you "don't see anything wrong with it?" i see a lot wrong with it. sure, the government can't do anything about it, since it's a private matter. but how can you actually not see anything wrong with being married to someone while being able to have sex with anyone else one wants? of course marriage is about being "devoted." if you think that marriage is about "fun," your morals are seriously twisted.

Wow..o.o'..Thank you.

I didnt mean 'marraige' wasnt about being devoted. I meant the open part wasn't. I'm totally devoted to my fiance..o.O...But we dont look at 'sex' as being a question of that. More because we would be perfectly happy if we 'didnt' do it, as much as if we did. And it still is discussed with the other to a large extent before 'ever' considering it. The main difference between those who see this as wrong, and those who see it as nothing..is just a question of how you look at sex. Do you look at sex as a way of enjoyment..or something that should be between two people and those two 'only'. Meaning..Something sacrid. When I think of it in the way of having it with my guy..I think of it as the second, but to do it with someoen else..is just a good time..




And...

with that said i still think its unfair to judge a couple based on what they decide to do in their marriage. what works for one couple may not work for another. i know i would never have an open marriage because for me marriage in a special bond between two people but thats my opinion and dont expect everyone to agree with that

I agree with you. It's all a question of personal choice.