Pros & Cons, What state are we in? Options

[seremela_culnamo]

It's me again. This time, I'm going to make things short by saying what has happened in the past months that I have known Dean and things that has happened lately, will be explained.

PROS:
- Willing to help me in any way.
- Calls everytime I'm down and sometimes more than once a day.
- Overprotective (ie. does stuff that I am capable of doing without asking to help).
* A lot more, but it will take forever to list them all out. Check out my Subliminal Messages (part 1 & 2) if you want, if you want to.

CONS:
- When he's pissed, he's out of control in the sense that he breaks or throw things.
- If he's depressed, he cuts.
- Forgot to me my friend and I in the morning.
* I have seen him do both (the first two) but when I tell him to stop, he does. & he knows it freaks me out and causes me to worry, so he doesn't do it anymore, or at least, not in front of me.

Here goes:

Just over a month ago, the night we hung out, apparently he could figure out that I liked him just from saying something and then could put it together because I was quiet and shy (asked if I was nervous). Then 3 weeks after that, I was really depressed over everything in life. He makes my best friend stay after school for half an hour to talk about me and forced her into telling him who my crush was. Obviously it was him. & he kept on asking questions that she didn't even know (i.e. why i would think things wont work out & if we were to go out, things might work out). He calls afterwards to make sure I'm okay but does not tell me that he knew that I liked him. Then calls again at night to check on me and once again, tells me he cares and even though I seem like I want him out of my life at times, he's not going to let me to let him go. I find out the next day, at the end of the day when I knew something was wrong because my friend couldn't give me a straight answer of what she told him. I felt totally embarrassed about reading my poem out loud during the poetry reading during lunch - it was dedicated to him. Day ends, not much happened. Should've figured something was up because he told me he really wished he could go to the movies with us that night and seemed disappointed. Called him on Sunday to just talk and let him know that I knew that he knew that I like him.

Three weeks go by and our friendship was sometimes..awkward. Mainly because of me since I didn't know how to act around him. But he was totally nice about it and such. Actually once he knew, he was "friendlier". In the sense that we would flirt in some ways. Friendly way of course. Before it was like, don't touch one another. But that, let's cut it short by saying him doing these to me: tickling, poking, rubbing shoulders and hands, touching tummy + knees + feet + hips + arms.

Earlier this week, it was really killing me that I still haven't told him everything. So one of my close friends got me to write a letter. Basically in the letter, it explained the way I have been acting and answering the questions he had for my best friend earlier on, but wasn't answered since she didn't know..apologizing and saying that I liked him. Got my best friend to give it to him because at the last minute, I freaked. After school on that day, he calls my best friend's house since I was there. Freaked out and wouldn't talk to him. He tells her some stuff about saying he appreciated the letter but nothing much since it was me who he wanted to talk to. Then at night, he tries to call another best friend of mines to talk. But my best friend, he's not comfortable around talking to guys about these things, so after trying to call him 3 or 4 times, Dean gives up.

Next day, I freak out when I see him. He follows me and starts to talk about the letter. I freak out and grab onto my best friend and follow her to her locker. Walk back down the hall and there he was, waiting. I go, "you know what? i..." then it fades out and I tell him "nevermind" when I saw his puzzled expression. Then I walked away with my best friend. He calls at night to talk since he caught me there. Had to get it over with and we just..talked. Mainly him saying how he was glad that I wrote the letter, was reading it again while we talked..Me telling him that I was ignoring him since I was completely embarrassed and didn't know how to act. Him telling me not to be ashamed and was really glad that I wrote it. That I was a great person and he really wants to help me. Thing is, he can't help me. It's about him and other personal stuff. I tell him I can't tell him and he said I should. But I didn't and he said that he really wants to help..but only if I can open up to him. Then emphasizing that if I got something to tell him, I really should.

My friends say that I should tell him in person next..that that was the answer he was waiting for all along..since he has been saying I should call him to talk and tell him everything if I feel like it. As if when I'm ready or something. Thing is, some of my other friends say that I should just wait to see how he reacts. Like he knows that I like him and I did write the letter..But he doesn't know exactly what to do. Possibilities are high that he likes me back but isn't sure on how to act or whatever. & yet he's still really friendly and all towards me. Probably more than usual, actually. After the letter I mean. Meh. I don't know >< & then how my friends tease me. They go, "aww! how sweet!" and stuff. Simply from things like when my hands were cold, he took them without asking and starts warming them up through rubbing..how he's always touching my hands..saying everything I do is awesome..encouraging me and being there for me all the time..etc.

What do you suggest I should do? & if he feels the same way?

I really want to know because some other girl likes him, I think I have a stalker & I rejected 3 guys at the beginning of this school year already..just because I like him so much..

[_sarcastic_]

you should really go up to him and tell him how you feel better now then never since other girls likes him too. he obviously has some feelings for you, and is willing to help you and be there for you.

[*mipadi*]

You'll only be regretful if you let the opportunity slip by without doing anything.

[topsyturvy]

^ agree 100%

This is really too good to waste.

[seremela_culnamo]

^ agree 100%

This is really too good to waste.

What exactly do you mean by that? Meh. I'm sorry. I'm just really tired from all the stresses at school that I'm facing. So I'm slow right now.

But I'm assuming that you mean that I have a good chance and I shouldn't let it go? I really don't know what he wants though. He doesn't tell me straight out that he doesn't like me in that way. He simply said, "I don't want these feelings to ruin our friendship". Does that mean that he just wants to be friends? Even though he says I'm a really good friends of his and I'm a really great person to him?

I'm trying to pretend that it's all good now. Like I still like him, but won't let it get me down or anything. Especially with all the work in the way, anyway. So yea. I want to tell but the thing is, I'm not exactly sure if he meant that there's no chance at all and such. My friend's going to try to ask him. Thing is, trying to get to him when there's nobody that we know of around. & another factor is that he doesn't know her except for once, on Friday, when she introduced herself to him. Meh. & my stupid best friend, he's not comfortable to talk to guys about these things. While my other best friend, she's so forgetful -_-"

At this point, I try to let things go. Try to erase all the feelings out of the way, but it's hard when I see him everyday and he's so sweet and nice. People are telling me to go for it, while others tell me to go with the flow and just wait because to them, he's bound to do something soon.