Emotionally depressed, Help! What should I do? Options

[seremela_culnamo]

I have no clue what to do. I have been interested in my crush, Dean, ever since last year when he was in my chemistry class and his locker was only 3 spaces away. But I never got to know him until this year. I was always the quiet one in class and I'm extremely shy around guys, even if I don't like them in that way.

So I got to know him this year and we became good friends within a week. Okay, I'm not sure about good friends, but he says we are. I think it's really due to the fact that we both have gone through hard times and still are, which is what brought us close together. So basically he's someone who could understand the things I'm going through (just the gist of it since I don't tell him everything) and we have similiar interests and such.

But right now, I have no clue how I feel anymore. I still have a huge crush on him. Well not exactly a crush, since he already knows. But the thing is, he doesn't tell me directly how he feels. He would say stuff that makes everyone and even me, to think that he probably likes me back but at the same time, says stuff in a nicer way that meant we are just friends.

For the past week, I have been telling myself to get over him. & then I actually started to get over him. Yet there are still those feelings deep down inside of me that I am aware of. The feelings that I still have for him. It's still really strong and now? I'm confused and worried. It's really affecting me and such. To the point that even my mother, someone I never turn to for advice and such, could tell that some dude out there is really affecting my life. Ever since the beginning of the year, my marks have been dropping, I don't talk to my friends much anymore (even my best friends dont know whats going on), been locking myself up in my room or here, coming home everyday frustrated and depressed, and so forth.

I have no clue what to do. I want to get over him but at the same time, my feelings are holding me back. When I'm at school, I pretend I'm happy in life even though everyone could clearly tell I'm not. For heaven's sake, I hardly talk to one of my friends since I hardly see her, and yesterday, she came up to me and asked if I was okay. & I questioned her back by what she meant by that and such. Apparently lots of people could tell I have been depressed already. & she just simply said that people have been talking. Although she didn't tell me who have been doing the talking, I have a feeling it's people I hardly even know in our grade.

I'm so unhealthy in every way right now. I want to get over him because our friendship isn't exactly the same anymore. It became worse yet better in some ways. & I don't want to seem like I'm obsessed or anything. & like my friends said, I have to stop worrying and stuff. Then compared how I was for the past 3 years of high school. I was the crazy, happy and hyper one all the time. & then year? I'm on the other side of the scale. I'm going through other stuff, too, but this is one of the biggest things that's affecting me right now. & I don't want to do anything that would make him only like me back one day or something, just because I like him. & like my older friend said, if he does like me back one day, it's not exactly a good thing in case Dean would take advantage of me since I like him so much and stuff.

Help! What should I do?