Spanking Children, does it solve anything? Options

[*Zatanna*]

The old spank debate.

There really isn't a definitive right or wrong answer here. Spank isn't "abuse." However, beating is. Use your judgement, you'll know (and most parents should) if you've crossed that line or not.

Personally, I don't spank my boy. For one thing, he has autism and would only understand that I had hurt him, he would not be able to put the two together. I have no choice but to use positive reinforcement, but I like it that way. (I'm also very blessed to have a reasonable child - especially considering his diagnosis).

There has been times when Israel is completely out of control (at Target, for example, he expects to walk out of the store with an Xbox or Gamecube game every time we go). Just not going to happen. I have literally left my shopping cart in the store, put him over my shoulder and walked out. I didn't neccesarily "spank," but I did use force. Is that abuse? I certainly think not.

[xxtaintedlips]

well, as a child I was spanked, but rarely. My parents found out that it was more effective to give positive enforcment. I was only spanked once or twice and after that my parents spoke to me like an adult. i was only grounded once in my life and that was for go to an abandoned house when i was told not to. yeah i was very upset, but i was moody anyway because my mom and dad had just broken up. what can i say i was six years old! anyway im getting off subject....
I think that it is important that parents treat thier children like equals, not like a stupid little kid that dont know anything. Somethimes spanking needs to be applied if the child is intent on being moody and unruley.

[*Blow_Don't_SUCK*]

I think that it is important that parents treat thier children like equals, not like a stupid little kid that dont know anything. Somethimes spanking needs to be applied if the child is intent on being moody and unruley.

The truth is, there are cases when a kid can be stupid. If an adult treats a 6-year old like another adult, the kid can get confused..for example when I was 6, this adult spoke to me in the mall while I was pushing down manequins out of fun, "I am aware that you should know what you did was wrong. You stop all of these nonesense and go back to your parent."


I was hella confused! If you're trying to say that children should be punished through grounding or conversations or simple lectures, then I can see your point. But a parent can lecture a child and still talk to it as if the child isn't an adult. Besides, treating a child as an equal adult means you trust it with FULL responsiblity. Like the child is responsible enough to hold ten thousand dollars or to keep a life-threatening secret....or simply as if the child is responsible enough to actually know how the world really goes.

[*Weird addiction*]

Not all parents are the same. People are different. Everyone's got their own belief. Some parents think spanking's the best thing for their children, some don't. It all depends.
Some kids respond to spanking, some don't. I'm not exactly for the spanking thing but if a parent should think that he/she's doing what's best for his/her child, good.
I was spanked on few occasions but my mom stopped because it never worked. I still dated boys and all that. But then she took away my computer rights, walk man, my short skirts...that worked. I never repeated what i did.

I'll never spank my child. I prefer grounding or taking away his/her toys for a certain period of time just because it worked for me. I can't imagine me spanking my child. There are other ways you can discipline a child.

I think every parent should discipline their children the way they think is best as long as it doesn't go too far. Like abuse and all that.

[*Programmer*]

ill spank/beat with a belt... my kids if they act up...and know better...sorry but that's how i was brought up... it keeps them in line...

[*ainami*]

Personally, I would never spank my children. I was spanked occasionally when I was a child, and I was also yelled at repeatedly, which I would call verbal abuse. When I look back on my childhood, I see that I responded better when my parents made me sit down with them and we had a discussion about how what I did was wrong. They seemed so disappointed in me that I felt incredibly bad for my actions. When they spanked me or just yelled at me, I developed a dislike for my parents and became a very lonely child...

Well it wasn't that bad. But I still think that spanking is wrong. I'm not saying that it should be outlawed or anything like that, but I do believe it has a negative effect on some children.

Ah well, spanking has been around for decades, and it will continue to be around. I just know I won't spank my kids. I believe in a more non-violent approach.

[voguelove]

i dont think so. i was spanked as a kid by my mom and i did the same things over, and over again. it doesnt really matter what kind of punishment you give them, theyre still gonna do it again. (unless its one of those kids who get spanked by their parents with like.. sledge hammer.)


but, i do know im never going to hit or yell at my future kids.

[Hell-Rell]

I gotta say that I'mma spank (Whoop) my kids. Because kids do need limits and if you don't enforce you parental power kids are going to walk all over you. But I wouldn't whoop them for every little reason. I'm from a family where they believe in spankings, when I use to get spankings for bad things I did, I never wanted to do it again.

[EddieV]

In a way it does.

[Joss-eh-lime]

i actually dont think its effective. kids learn by example
& experiences. and anyway ii hate seeing moms spank their kid.
my parents spanked me and my sisters and the only thing
it did was make us cry we'd go back to doing whatever
it was we werent supposed to.

[Paradox of Life]

The old spank debate.

There really isn't a definitive right or wrong answer here. Spank isn't "abuse." However, beating is. Use your judgement, you'll know (and most parents should) if you've crossed that line or not.
certainly think not.

Yeah, I agree. Spanking young children (4-7) doesn't really do much because they'll just see it as their parents being mean to them... At least, that's how it was for me. I'd continue to misbehave even if I was spanked, but I'd try to avoid the spanking part. So .. the question is, "Does spanking actually help?" And the answer is yes and no. It scares the shit out of your children, so they don't want to misbehave again, but ... it's not really a good solution because they're not learning anything. A lot of the time, spanking is just a way for the parents to relieve their stress and anger from what the child has done. I think a good, calm sit-down and talk about what the child has done and what they should do in the future would be a lot better. Or maybe a time out or grounding or something ... but spanking is so obselete.

[Mr. Slowjamz]

this is not even a debate

[WickedDreamer]

I was never spanked (that doesn't sound like the right past tense) but I was a really good kid when I was younger... I don't ever remember doing anything wrong... oh, wait, I stole a game piece from Battleship from my day care center... But, my mom spanks my younger siblings now (6-8, I'm 16) and I don't think it does anything besides get them to throw a tempertantrum. And they still do whatever they did again. I think grounding works, yes, even for a five year old. Take away there toys for awhile... I've only been grounded three times and whatever I did to deserve the grounding I haven't done again.

[d00kie]

this reminds me of a story

Guy1 gave Guy2 an elephant he said that if Guy2 could get him to stop eating he would give Guy2 enough money for his entire family. Guy2 spends all day feeding the elephant but he doesnt stop eating and for years and years the elephant does not stop eating. He told Guy1 that there was no way that the elephant could eat more so Guy 1 gives the elephant food and he eats it. Guy1 said that Guy2 had one more chance. Guy1 decided to take action so he gave the elephant food and then took it away and showed it more food and if it went for it he would whip him. The elephant stopped eating when it wasnt necessary and Guy 1 gave Guy2 the money.

what im trying to prove is for a child who does it several times after talks about why it is wrong maybe a little tap but my rents used to abuse me and it just drove me to run away and find shelter at a friends house nothing more

[AngryBaby]

i got spanked lol

all i can say is this: it hasnt f**ked me up

though it hasnt made me not do things.

though i am really respectful to adults....

and the only way i can compare a bit its looking at my friends who havent been spanked.

and looking at them and their parents as they seem to push boundaries with the respect thing

its funny because their like "omg, you got spanked!? thats like abuse!" and im like "meh"


the belt seems to work better than "okay children, lets please be quiet, this is quiet time"

bring out the belt and the whole house will get quiet. hehe

in the long run i think it just adds discipline

[o0olaalaa]

i don't think it does. it just causes your children to be abusive to their children when they grow up. smacking him/her just releases the parents tension. gosh but if that kid is really bad. i mean really really bad. spank him/her

[*lil_chubby_cheeks2*]

It solves a lot of things. There's a difference between simple disciplinary action by spanking and simply beating and tormenting your child. I'd like to personally give my belt to parents with children who misbehave in public. My parents did it that way, and I turned out fine.

yeah ._.
its not right though

[aznxdreamer]

i dont think spanking is reasonable. there are other ways to discipline children and some of those other ways could be more affective than spanking. personally, i think talking about it, lecturing, or even yelling is ok and might be more affective than spanking. spanking just makes a child fear their parents, and i dont think it should be that way.

i would never spank my kids. i would rather sit them down and talk about it. if my kids loved me, than they would hear how disappointed i am in them and they wouldnt do i again.

[WickedDreamer]

I'm also gonna add that pain is fleeting. You get spanked, you get over it. At least, that's my view.

[IceCream4U]

Well, I think that it must solve some way or the other.

They do something, they get spanked, and they won't do it anymore. Period.

[*chaneun*]

Doesn't it cause children to fear their parents?

[IceCream4U]

Well, that's a good point. Ugh, I don't know what to think now!

[sillakilla220]

it does not cause fear. i'm not only gonna spank my kids i'm gonna f**k them up till they get the point not to misbehave. not only am i teaching them a lesson in manners but i'd also be toughening them up for the future so they dont end up like most of the p**sies on this site

[ecargnmyst]

its goood if theres a reason behind it..but it really makes the child hate you if u spank them for no reason or more like.."just to get your own nger out" for gods sake! kids r not ur punching bags!!!

[flc]

Heh..I'm kind of a hypocrite on this one.

I always tell my parents/friends that I'll never spank my children, no matter what they do.

But I babysit my cousin Ryan a lot..and he is hyper as hell and never listens to me, so I have no choice but to spank him. I don't do it hard, but just to make sure he knows I'm serious, because he always sees me as a playmate and not a figure of authority.

So I guess, in certain situations, it would be alright, like if your kid is acting obnoxious and refuses to listen to you.