now it is over, what to do.... Options

[V_TEK]

My girlfriend and I just broke up...
she said that her feeling for me is gone now and it's not the same..
I don't know, it hurts to think about me and her not being together. It hurts, u know? If she break up with me for school or activites then I would be happy for her. But She broke up with me for another guy. She like some othe guy more...


Do you guys know anything to do to get over this hurtful feeling. What could you do when you have a broken heart that will make you feel a little bit better?
Thanks for helping...

[gr00vyswordsman]

I would go hangout with my best friend whenever I started feelin a bit mourn, or pissed or w/e. My best friend always cheered me up for tha evening.

[verlorenrivets]

My girlfriend and I just broke up...
she said that her feeling for me is gone now and it's not the same..
I don't know, it hurts to think about me and her not being together.  It hurts, u know?  If she break up with me for school or activites then I would be happy for her.  But She broke up with me for another guy.  She like some othe guy more... 
Do you guys know anything to do to get over this hurtful feeling.  What could you do when you have a broken heart that will make you feel a little bit better? 
Thanks for helping...

Same thing happened to me. 1 and a half years of being better than a perfect boyfriend to her, and one day she decides to break up with me for some guy who really won't care about her as much. My best advice is to move on. What did you do before you went out with her? Do that. Go visit friends that you might have neglected due to the fact you were in a relationship.

Just don't drown out the pain though. It's a terrible feeling, but it's something that needs to be worked through. Pushing it away only makes it come back at bad times. If you confront the feeling, then you'll realize how much she is missing out on you and what you did for her. No matter what she says, the other guy isn't as good as you were (unless you used to verbally or physically abuse her and the other guy doesn't do that, then you're a jackass) to her.

Now is the point where I tell you that if you go any further down this line of thought, you'll end up a sexist, like me. Stop at that point. You're a good person, she's wrong for what she did to you. End. If you dive too far into that line of thought you end up hating girls for what they are, and I know you don't want to do that.

Now I'm off to save the world from THE EVILS OF DRUGS.

[NgocQuyen]

awwwwh im sorryy!!! lols goo fight the other guy!!! hahaha...nehh im just kidding if i was you i would really not think about it because apparently she's not worth your time seeing it that she left you for another guy...if she really cared about you she would have fogot about the other guy and stayed with you....girls like that are stupid and retarded...they dont know what they're throwing away until its too late..so it's really her loss not yours because one day in the future she's going to realize that losing you was the bigget mistake ever

[lexaa621]

same thing happened to me. its such a crappy feeling. i dont even really wanna talk about it, but i know exactly what you're going through. just talk about it to some friends, keep busy, stay distracted and after a month you should be fine. and dont communicate with her for a while. that helps a bit too. good luck man

[Chii]

this was for the best. as harsh as it sounds, you didn't have what she wanted. you can say that you're better for her than that guy but if you were, why is she with him now?

it's just a waste of time and emotion to hate on that guy. it just wasn't meant to be. it's better that she broke up with you, if she didn't she'd be thinking of that guy when she was with you or she would have cheated on you.

just ignore her, her xanga, her away messages, anything that has to do with her because since she has a new guy, it's going to hurt to see it. she wasn't the one for you, so this break up is a good thing. now you can go find someone who's meant for you.

[*mipadi*]

If you confront the feeling, then you'll realize how much she is missing out on you and what you did for her. No matter what she says, the other guy isn't as good as you were (unless you used to verbally or physically abuse her and the other guy doesn't do that, then you're a jackass) to her.

Now is the point where I tell you that if you go any further down this line of thought, you'll end up a sexist, like me. Stop at that point. You're a good person, she's wrong for what she did to you. End. If you dive too far into that line of thought you end up hating girls for what they are, and I know you don't want to do that.

I absolutely despise this sentiment, this idea of "I'm such a wonderful person, and she's such trash for not seeing how perfect I am." I think if people continually think this, they get nowhere as a person; they don't grow. Sometimes you need to admit your shortcomings; but sometimes you need to just say that a relationship didn't work out because you weren't right for each other, not because the other person is just too blind to see how great you really are. I'm strongly of the opinion that if two people are right for each other, they will both see it and stay together. Likewise, if two people can't make it work out, it's probably for a reason. Couples suffer so many nasty breakups because one party can't admit that maybe, just maybe, the other one is right, and the relationship isn't going to work out; it's always, "Oh no, she just broke up with me because she can't see how good I am for her." Don't be so egotistical; although people occasionally err, more often than not, they do know who is right for them and who isn't.

[mzbbc]

i know you're sad, but you can't do anything about it. it's over, so just let it go and move on... that's life. we've all be through it.

so keep your head up and don't think about shit that hurts.

[aera]

dont brood over it. it hurts, but it's better than having her live a lie and when she finally breaks up with you, wouldnt it be worse?

[verlorenrivets]

I absolutely despise this sentiment, this idea of "I'm such a wonderful person, and she's such trash for not seeing how perfect I am." I think if people continually think this, they get nowhere as a person; they don't grow. Sometimes you need to admit your shortcomings; but sometimes you need to just say that a relationship didn't work out because you weren't right for each other, not because the other person is just too blind to see how great you really are. I'm strongly of the opinion that if two people are right for each other, they will both see it and stay together. Likewise, if two people can't make it work out, it's probably for a reason. Couples suffer so many nasty breakups because  one party can't admit that maybe, just maybe, the other one is right, and the relationship isn't going to work out; it's always, "Oh no, she just broke up with me because she can't see how good I am for her." Don't be so egotistical; although people occasionally err, more often than not, they do know who is right for them and who isn't.

Is everything I say on these boards going to be viciously attacked like this?

I've never been through a "nasty" breakup. Mostly because I <i>really</i> never did anything wrong. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I do have my flaws, but I never let them get in the way of how much I cared for someone. Every single girlfriend who's ever broken up with me has <i>never</i> had a good reason. Every single girlfriend who's ever broken up with me has asked for me back, meaning they saw what they did as wrong, and had second thoughts about their action. I used to take them back only to find that I felt too betrayed to respect them anymore. They would want to stay with me, but only after they broke up with me to experiment with love somewhere else. Can't you see how that would get to a person?

This guy just got his shit dumped. I absolutely despise your lack of care about his feelings in this situation. Who the f**k do you think you are coming in here all high and mighty saying things he doesn't need to hear right now? You don't know his situation, you don't know mine, and you made a terrible call. I'm not being egotistical if I'm just stating an objective view of a situation. Just because I want this guy to feel better about himself and maybe get some of his heart back together with a little pride doesn't say anything about being egotistical. Sorry for having empathy and giving a guy some advice that would help him feel better.

OH SHIT! I'M TRYING TO HELP A GUY GET THROUGH A HARD TIME! Must be because I want to augment my ego! Has nothing to do with my sincerest empathy with what he's going through. What a jerk. Maybe you should try seeing past your own ego shell, and look into reason.

Third time I've been attacked within a 12 hour time frame on these boards.

[*mipadi*]

Is everything I say on these boards going to be viciously attacked like this?

I've never been through a "nasty" breakup. Mostly because I <i>really</i> never did anything wrong. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I do have my flaws, but I never let them get in the way of how much I cared for someone. Every single girlfriend who's ever broken up with me has <i>never</i> had a good reason. Every single girlfriend who's ever broken up with me has asked for me back, meaning they saw what they did as wrong, and had second thoughts about their action. I used to take them back only to find that I felt too betrayed to respect them anymore. They would want to stay with me, but only after they broke up with me to experiment with love somewhere else. Can't you see how that would get to a person?

This guy just got his shit dumped. I absolutely despise your lack of care about his feelings in this situation. Who the f**k do you think you are coming in here all high and mighty saying things he doesn't need to hear right now? You don't know his situation, you don't know mine, and you made a terrible call. I'm not being egotistical if I'm just stating an objective view of a situation. Just because I want this guy to feel better about himself and maybe get some of his heart back together with a little pride doesn't say anything about being egotistical. Sorry for having empathy and giving a guy some advice that would help him feel better.

OH SHIT! I'M TRYING TO HELP A GUY GET THROUGH A HARD TIME! Must be because I want to augment my ego! Has nothing to do with my sincerest empathy with what he's going through. What a jerk. Maybe you should try seeing past your own ego shell, and look into reason.

Third time I've been attacked within a 12 hour time frame on these boards.

Okay, man, first of all, I didn't mean "you" as in you specifically; I was using "you" in the general sense, the plural sense. So don't go off on me for attacking you, because I wasn't attacking you, I was responding to what you said and applying it to people in general.

Secondly, I sympathize with the original poster, I really do, and nowhere did I say he's undeserving of sympathy or he's a bad person. He seems like a great guy. I'm just saying that his ex-girlfriend isn't necessarily a bad person; she's probably a great girl, as well. Just because she broke up with him doesn't make her a bitch, or him a worthless human being; I am simply saying that the compatibility between them was not perfect. I just find it to be grossly unfair to automatically assume that the girl is blind and she can't see what a great guy he is; he's probably pretty cool, yeah, but things didn't work out between them for one reason or another. People put too much stock in relationships; when they don't work out, people just to the conclusion that they are worthless, or the other person is blind or a bitch or something like that. That's not usually the case--sometimes relationships simply do not work out. The only way to grow and be successful is to admit that, and admit that you're a good person and she's a good person and it just didn't work out because you weren't right for each other, and move on with the intent of finding someone who is. You get nowhere, you don't grow, if you just blame the other party--or yourself--all the time. (And again, I mean you as in the general you.)

I'm just saying I get sick of people feeling that they are God's gift to mankind, and anyone who can't see that doesn't deserve them anyway. People like that more often than not end up lonely.

I'll use myself as a perfect example. I'm a pretty good person, or so most people seem to agree, but yes, not terribly lucky (especially as of late) in the area of romance; but that's not because I am so awesome and other people are just too stupid to see that, it's because I have certain flaws in this area, such as shyness, or general apathy.

I don't think my analysis is due to a problem of ego on my part; I'm make observations based on my own personal experiences. I used to espouse the idea that I was awesome and girls just couldn't see that, and you know what, I was wrong, and I now see that not only I was I grossly unfair, but I was holding myself back. So no, I don't speak from a position of egotism; I speak with an interest in helping others learn from their mistakes, and more important, mistakes I have made in the past.

And I ask: How successful is your view that you are awesome and girls just can't see that? How successful is your view that you have not done anything wrong in a relationship or in romance?

[miss-_-guitar]

dont worry youll b ok. overyone has to go through it. eventually ul find someone who appriciates u.

[V_TEK]

you guys don't understand, she is my everything...
I am currectly 18 and she's 16...
The first time we dated was when she was 12 and I was 14..
It was an on and off relationship between those 4 years but now
she's really gone with another guy. I love her for meanings and feelings. Her meaning was that she was my first. I did EVERYTHING with her, that's why she's speical. Losing someone special is a very hard feeling. What's even worst?

The feeling of wanting to touch/hug the one you love or used to love you but get push back... that is a shitty feeling...

The hardest thing in life is watching the one you love, love someone else....

[*disco infiltrator*]

Ohhhhh. Wade, Mikey..calm down.

Don't worry, man. I know I hated hearing this when I was dumped, but it will get better. There's really no way to instantly get over it. Just find something to keep your mind occupied. The first few weeks without her are gonna suck. That's just how it goes. But eventually, you'll be OK. It hurts when someone leaves you, especially for someone else. You're probably asking what you did wrong, but there's really nothing you could have done differently. You are who you are, and if she can't see past that, then she's not the right one for you anyway.

[boobooxpp]

sorry to hear...how old are you? maybe you could go get a lap dance or clubbin and find someone :P break ups are hard but if you just hold it within yourself, you'll never get over it..


cheer up :) you got createblog :P

[edit] i just read the last comment you made

wow, 4 years is definetly gonna be hard to get over...but you cannot get her back. even if you could, would you actually want to? i mean, she left you for another guy...that cannot be forgiven unless she really breaks down on ya....

you should still just move on...it'll take time but...try! :)

[racoons > you]

STOP telling people to calm down.

passion is life.

anyway.

you'll be fine. it'll suck for a while, but you'll pull through

best wishes

[HuGzNKissEs]

As hard as this sounds the BEST thing to do in this situation is do NOT show her how hurt you are...i made that mistake when my b/f & i had broke up a few years ago. Try going out A LOT but dont get drunk or anything that doesnt help anything just go out & have a good time w/ friends like everyone says. It helps a lot! & keep your options open with other girlz even if they r just flirt buddies that helps a lot too!
Hope this helps! good luck!

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

That's what happened to me. I was heartbroken when he said, "I don't feel the same about you anymore, Jane." I say, grab your best friend and have a good old time. Catch a movie. Or just have some fun.

[V_TEK]

wow, i think i'm starting to fall in love all over again...hehe don't worry it's not another gurl...it's YOU GUYS! hehe you guys are really good at giving advices and argue about my thoughts. I am really happy that someone out there actually cares for me. When i left her, it feel like she was the only girl in this planet that could make me smile. But having friends like you guys make my smiles stay. Thanks to you all who suggested some thoughts into this convo. BIG THANKS!

[NgocQuyen]

wow, i think i'm starting to fall in love all over again...hehe don't worry it's not another gurl...it's YOU GUYS! hehe you guys are really good at giving advices and argue about my thoughts.  I am really happy that someone out there actually cares for me.  When i left her, it feel like she was the only girl in this planet that could make me smile.  But having friends like you guys make my smiles stay.  Thanks to you all who suggested some thoughts into this convo.  BIG THANKS!

haha yes! i rock because i care...hahaha ;]

ohh yehh..and to those two up there that was argueing....can't we all just get along?

[piney]

hm.
ive never really been in your situation, so i wouldnt really know. sorry. but this always works for when im sad: watch old movies, under a blanket, with marshamallows, and some hot chocolate.

[verlorenrivets]

"How successful is your view that you are awesome and girls just can't see that? How successful is your view that you have not done anything wrong in a relationship or in romance?"

Oh, but I never said I was awesome. Not once. Not even implyed. I don't even believe that I'm anywhere close to awesome (unless you add -ly and use it to describe the words jaded, hateful, cynical, loud, et cetera). I have however stated that I've never had a bad breakup and it is because I dealt with the feelings as they came, and that I am a jerk, and that he shouldn't go too far down my train of thought if he didn't want to end up like me. I was also telling him that it wasn't his fault she moved on. Or did you miss that, oh great Infoulable one?
I am very successful because of my views. I am free of the bonds of female manipulation- free to do what I please, and I do. I feel pretty damned good about life in general, and I am more productive than anyone else that I know. I'm very close to owning my own buisness (not inherited either. Lower middle class worked my way up saving a wad and making my own products to market kind of buisness) at the age of 19, no less. Strange how being productive and not following your penis around are connected.
As far as success in relationships goes, if I chose to participate in the childish games of girls anymore, I'd do just fine. I'd take it as it was, instead of taking it as a serious or permanent thing. The problem with that is the fact that I'd prefer a more serious or permanent thing, and girls in my general age group (even if they think they want that) aren't ready for it yet. Whatever. This isn't about me, just had to make myself clear. We're operating on two completely different platforms, and if we continue this, we'll just be gnashing teeth.

Just clearing the waters: {{{I agree with you}}} for the most part, and I know that the only way to grow and be a strong person is to eventually create a medium of mutual respect with the person that took a massive steaming shit on your heart without proper notice. ^_^; Come on, my cynicism has gotta be at least a little humorous by now.

V_Tek, you have a much greater chance of pulling though than I did. You seem much more stable, and seemingly much less cynical than I am. You'll be fine in time, I'm certain. As my last piece of advice to you, don't let relationships become the only good thing in your life. We only get so long in life, we really don't have time to be wasting it on being depressed about anything that goes wrong.

And I'm done! World saved from THE ELVIS OF RUGBY!