Staying Friends After a Long Relationship & Bad Break Up ???, Opinions on Staying Friends? |
Staying Friends After a Long Relationship & Bad Break Up ???, Opinions on Staying Friends? |
Dec 27 2009, 12:09 PM
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#1
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Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 525 Joined: Nov 2008 Member No: 695,913 |
How do you guys feel about staying friends after a long term relationship, that had a really bad break up ?
Should you still try to be friends.... Should you both just move on ? Ill give examples of what happened in my situation a little later Here's the Actual Situation: ================================================ 7 Year On/Off Relationship [Started at Age 12] Grew Up Together Was Each Others Best Friend/ Boyfriend/Girlfriend Talked Marriage Stuck With Each Other Through VERY Difficult Times Break Up: Caught Emotional Cheating for 3 months. Wasn't Willing to Leave the Other Kid completely to work On Our Relationship Wasn't Willing to Leave the Other Kid completely to work On Us Being Friends Status Now: Haven't Talked for 2 Months [prior to Christmas phone call] She calls, I Ignore She Wished Merry Christmas, and Called and that is the last we have talked. Now She Sounds Like she really wants to talk/ be friendly again but what do you think? Stay Up -1- Subliminal |
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Dec 27 2009, 12:23 PM
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#2
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I'm Jc Group: Mentor Posts: 13,619 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 437,556 |
i don't think you should bother with the being friends thing right away. bad break ups leave a sour taste in both people's mouth and i don't think it's possible for them to overcome that right away. that's how i feel anyway. even in situations where you really truly want to keep that person around as a friend, it's a lot easier said than done. the better approach is to leave it alone and let the bad feelings fade some and try to pick it up later.
basically i think if it was a good relationship and you like that person, you should stay friends, but i don't think the way to go about that is forcing it. you should move on first, and then worry about the friendship later. |
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Dec 27 2009, 12:41 PM
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#3
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Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,665 Joined: Aug 2008 Member No: 676,364 |
Being friends won't hurt you. As long as both of you don't have that type of "feeling" for each other. I know it's kind of hard to forget and forgive, but it's worth it. You can't just hate or ignore someone for the rest of your life--especially if they were a big portion of your "love" life. It doesn't hurt to love someone, but it hurts to hate someone.
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Dec 27 2009, 12:45 PM
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#4
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Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 525 Joined: Nov 2008 Member No: 695,913 |
Being friends won't hurt you. As long as both of you don't have that type of "feeling" for each other. I know it's kind of hard to forget and forgive, but it's worth it. You can't just hate or ignore someone for the rest of your life--especially if they were a big portion of your "love" life. It doesn't hurt to love someone, but it hurts to hate someone. ya i just edited my post with the actual situation and as you can see she was a BIG part of my life Stay Up -1- Subliminal |
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Dec 27 2009, 12:47 PM
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#5
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Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,665 Joined: Aug 2008 Member No: 676,364 |
By the way, I mean to "love" someone as a friend, for the ending part. haha
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Dec 27 2009, 12:50 PM
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#6
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Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 525 Joined: Nov 2008 Member No: 695,913 |
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Dec 27 2009, 01:57 PM
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#7
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Sex, Blood, & RocknRoll Group: People Staff Posts: 5,305 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 596,480 |
f*ck being friends. Light her house on fire.
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Dec 27 2009, 02:55 PM
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#8
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Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 1,938 Joined: Jul 2008 Member No: 667,832 |
Simple
If you want to forget her, dont be friends If you miss talking to her and all that, be friends Just see how it goes and howyou feel about it, just know this is suppose to make you feel better, not feel like your obligated to be friends (if this makes any since) If you want a personal opinion Me and my boyfriend have been best friends for 7 years (10 years) and we started dating thissummer, and god forbit but if we do ever break up, i would love to stay his friend, but at the same time i would prolly feel the awkwardness and know my friendship with him prolly wont be the same |
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Dec 27 2009, 06:20 PM
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#9
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Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 525 Joined: Nov 2008 Member No: 695,913 |
If you want a personal opinion Me and my boyfriend have been best friends for 7 years (10 years) and we started dating thissummer, and god forbit but if we do ever break up, i would love to stay his friend, but at the same time i would prolly feel the awkwardness and know my friendship with him prolly wont be the same exactly ive become so accustomed to the relationship that i don't think i can see her as just a friend... but also don't want to completely cut out someone that important to me what you think? ignore her for now till things are settled then call her one day and see whats good? or because she called for xmas use this as an opportunity to restart a friendship? Stay Up -1- Subliminal |
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Dec 27 2009, 06:31 PM
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#10
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I'm Jc Group: Mentor Posts: 13,619 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 437,556 |
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Dec 27 2009, 06:50 PM
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#11
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Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 7,019 Joined: May 2008 Member No: 653,768 |
QUOTE(Jesus Christ) basically i think if it was a good relationship and you like that person, you should stay friends, but i don't think the way to go about that is forcing it. you should move on first, and then worry about the friendship later.
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Dec 27 2009, 09:19 PM
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#12
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Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 1,028 Joined: Sep 2007 Member No: 579,129 |
i think you should just go with the flow.
yall seem really close so i'm sure you'll miss her eventually and want to forgive her. i'm sorta like that with my friend, except with the ideas about marriage thing. it may sound cliche, but all the fights and arguing will only bring you closer. that's how it was for me, anyway. but even if you don't make up i'm sure deep down you'll still be friends. if you've known someone for that long and have been through that much with them, i don't think it's that easy to move on. |
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Dec 28 2009, 02:44 AM
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#13
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Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 525 Joined: Nov 2008 Member No: 695,913 |
i think you should just go with the flow. yall seem really close so i'm sure you'll miss her eventually and want to forgive her. i'm sorta like that with my friend, except with the ideas about marriage thing. it may sound cliche, but all the fights and arguing will only bring you closer. that's how it was for me, anyway. but even if you don't make up i'm sure deep down you'll still be friends. if you've known someone for that long and have been through that much with them, i don't think it's that easy to move on. ya i feel ya lol and i thought the same thing as well about the fighting bringing you closer . . . but one of the reasons she was "cheating" was because she said we argued to much lol ironic huh the thing that brought us closer also tore us apart lol and i have no doubt that one day well be friends again . . . maybe something more but the fact that she wasn't willing to give up the other guy to work on our relationship . . or give him up to work on our friendship .... isn't that like something big i should take into consideration? like if our friendship was important to her shouldn't she have been willing to give that up earlier ? Stay Up -1- Subliminal |
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Dec 28 2009, 11:11 AM
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#14
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Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 1,938 Joined: Jul 2008 Member No: 667,832 |
exactly ive become so accustomed to the relationship that i don't think i can see her as just a friend... but also don't want to completely cut out someone that important to me what you think? ignore her for now till things are settled then call her one day and see whats good? or because she called for xmas use this as an opportunity to restart a friendship? Stay Up -1- Subliminal What eww says, go with the flow And just know the fact that your friendship may not be the same anymore, Everyone's reactions are different, and it really depends on how you or your ex acts out on it.(as to where your friendship goes) |
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Dec 28 2009, 01:51 PM
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#15
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Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 525 Joined: Nov 2008 Member No: 695,913 |
What eww says, go with the flow And just know the fact that your friendship may not be the same anymore, Everyone's reactions are different, and it really depends on how you or your ex acts out on it.(as to where your friendship goes) ya all of a sudden shes actin out towards it being all buddy buddy like nothing happened . . . meanwhile when i tried to be buddy buddy when shit first happened she ignored me and brushed it off should she get the same treatment? Why should there be an exception now that shes on the other side? Let me know Stay Up -1- Subliminal |
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Dec 28 2009, 04:25 PM
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#16
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Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 1,938 Joined: Jul 2008 Member No: 667,832 |
ya all of a sudden shes actin out towards it being all buddy buddy like nothing happened . . . meanwhile when i tried to be buddy buddy when shit first happened she ignored me and brushed it off should she get the same treatment? Why should there be an exception now that shes on the other side? Let me know Stay Up -1- Subliminal Yeah that can be fustrating, but it prolly took her longer to be more accepted and more accustumed to the break up (im assuming you recovered faster,as in wanting to be friends with her quicker, than what she wanted) Just see how it goes now Either you go along with what she does or ignore her for a while but imo just go with the flow of what shes doeing unless your not happy with it maybe update us on your little situation? |
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Dec 28 2009, 05:16 PM
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#17
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Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 525 Joined: Nov 2008 Member No: 695,913 |
You have to be a friend of mine in disguise or something. Every time you share one of your situations, my friend just so happens to be going through the same at the exact same time. I'm watching you son. I'd say wait a super while till you even think about being friends. If she was the one who cheated on you and/or if it ended because of a friend, use what I call deathnigga tactics. Disappear ninja style. Privacy settings on National Securty mode. Don't give her the benefit of knowing you exist. Become a myth. Poof, be gone. I tried that lol then she got mad sneaky and started hittin up my friends/ having "mutual friends" between us call that way they can let her know how i am .... and @ uso: i DEFF didn't recover faster lol i was just hoping that maybe if we became friends it would progress back into a relationship.... she was the one who said "no, if thats all your looking for then don't talk to me" yet here we are with her calling and trying to be friends again wtf lol to add to this Situation . . . This Album was made for her: http://www.createblog.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=244531 and i don't think shes heard it yet lol Stay Up -1- Subliminal |
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