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 Oct 5 2004, 10:42 PM
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#1
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 Will write poetry for sex!  Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600  |
Ah, yet another quickie.
Home Why is it, thought is home? The broken home, Unbearable and torturous. The memories you run from Hung up on picture frames Crooked with the smile You've always tried to understand. Skies blotched with blood You've only dreamt of bleeding. Your only sanctuary Overcoated with the nightmares You face only on your knees Praying to a false god. |
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Oct 5 2004, 11:19 PM
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#2
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
hmmm i dont really get this but its so interesting..
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Oct 6 2004, 12:00 AM
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#3
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Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
LoL, I caught myself in deep contemplation again and decided, I should write something about me always thinking.
I quickly jotted that down. And voila, instant poem.  I'm planning on writing something very carefully and thoroughly soon though. |
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Oct 6 2004, 12:40 AM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,989 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,691 |
Hm...nice?
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Oct 6 2004, 02:22 AM
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#5
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Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Haha, you don't sound too sure of that one there.
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Oct 12 2004, 12:41 AM
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#6
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 aiko Nakamura at your service Group: Member Posts: 1,518 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 18,144 |
hm seems mixed but i really like it haa.
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Oct 12 2004, 02:01 PM
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#7
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Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Mixed? I don't really get you...
I made the poem strike up the image of the world inside my head... |
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Oct 12 2004, 05:04 PM
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#8
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cb=bullshit. Group: Member Posts: 1,783 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,793 |
QUOTE(MasteRxKiD @ Oct 5 2004, 9:42 PM) The memories you run from Hung up on picture frames Crooked with the smile You've always tried to understand. My favorite <333 unique... as always... |
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Oct 12 2004, 05:58 PM
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#9
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Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Haha, thanks.
It happens to be my favorite part too... I kinda like the line about the sky in my mind as well... |
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Oct 12 2004, 06:00 PM
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#10
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aiko Nakamura at your service Group: Member Posts: 1,518 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 18,144 |
QUOTE(MasteRxKiD @ Oct 12 2004, 2:01 PM) Mixed? I don't really get you... I made the poem strike up the image of the world inside my head... hahaa theyr just was one part wer i didnt understand but yea i dno im dumb hahaa. |
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Oct 12 2004, 06:46 PM
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#11
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Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Which part?
Maybe I can try and explain it if you're interested? And I'm sure you're not dumb, so shush. 
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Oct 12 2004, 06:50 PM
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#12
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aiko Nakamura at your service Group: Member Posts: 1,518 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 18,144 |
QUOTE(MasteRxKiD @ Oct 5 2004, 10:42 PM) The memories you run from Hung up on picture frames Crooked with the smile hm seems like im sort of getting it but not explain to meeeee 
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Oct 12 2004, 07:53 PM
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#13
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Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
'The memories you run from, hung up on picture frames' - The memories you run from in your head, that you try to forget because they are painful, are constantly played back in your head like the pictures hung up in the hallway of your house...You always seem to pass by them.
'Crooked with the smile' - I wanted to give it some personification and make the memories (hung up on picture frames) mock me, call out to me so they can hurt me once again. (And you know how some pictures that are hung up wrong seem to lean on one side and are crooked) Ehhh...it's something like that. |
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Oct 12 2004, 07:55 PM
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#14
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
you know i just reread it and i got your point on most of it.. cant really explain but i dont get the praying to a false god..
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Oct 12 2004, 07:58 PM
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#15
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Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Err, I'll get into it if you want, But I have to start from the 'nightmares' line.
But, just that line alone...I'm trying to say that the praying you do...the reach for hope in life, trying to figure out a way through things (in your mind, obviosuly, since that's where the poem's setting is in) is useless. If you're praying to a false god...then, of course, every prayer you make will be unanswered... I also wanted to give the poem a touch of hopelessness at the end... |
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Oct 12 2004, 08:01 PM
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#16
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
I'll type proper now. I get it, it actually gives a very interesting twist. Thanks for the explanation Joe =P.
awww screw that GOOD JOB =P i finally understand |
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Oct 12 2004, 08:14 PM
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#17
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aiko Nakamura at your service Group: Member Posts: 1,518 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 18,144 |
haha me too thanks a bunch
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Oct 13 2004, 12:29 AM
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#18
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Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Glad I could provide some insight for my writing.
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| *Azarel* |
Aug 9 2005, 02:59 PM
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#19
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Guest |
Again, old topic since you don't even visit anymore. But regardless, this is well written. I like your usage of imagery, even if it is dismal and dark.
QUOTE(MasteRxKiD @ Oct 12 2004, 5:58 PM) I also wanted to give the poem a touch of hopelessness at the end... Success.
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| *Kathleen* |
Dec 26 2006, 03:30 PM
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#20
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I DON'T GET IT. *Scratches head*
I kid.  It's not like you'd respond to this, anyways.
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| *T0rmented_Soul* |
Dec 26 2006, 06:29 PM
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#21
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wow Master Joe...damn dude its been so long 2 long years haha.. doesnt seem like your logging on haha so yeah man good writing as always!
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Dec 28 2006, 02:18 PM
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#22
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Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
What I don't get, Kathleen, is why you're so sweet as to bump my work up.
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| *T0rmented_Soul* |
Dec 28 2006, 07:43 PM
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#23
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Guest |
gyea man joe u should stick around , im mike =] if u remember me 2 years back. haha
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