love lust or lost. |
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 Jan 23 2007, 10:58 PM
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 <-[RaWR]->  Group: Member Posts: 180 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 102,133  |
you were there when i needed you
i was there when you needed me does this mean our love is true? or are we not meant to be Listen to your heart please pay attention i dont want to be apart those words i will not mention but to you i give my love and to you i say please stay you see god sent you from up above awaiting for this day so if you want to let this be i can let you go i guess there never was a -we- and i guess i'll never know what do you think? i suppose it kind of sounds corny to me now because i wrote this when i was ummmm 11 and that was about 6 years ago.. |
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Jan 25 2007, 05:14 PM
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#2
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 ˇLa Reina del Mundo! Group: Member Posts: 205 Joined: May 2006 Member No: 415,882 |
Hmm... well, I must say that for a poem written by a persona that was 11 years old at its creation, it's quite good.
The rhyming was a bit typical of the normal teenage love/angst poems, but I take into account the age of the speaker. Overall, I think it's okay. |
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